To not want partner cooking for other women?

But he's cooking for two women so what's the problem. It's not as if it's a romantic a deux....or do you think it's going to be a post prandial a trois?

My feeling is that you will somehow blame yourself. I rather think if you hadn't labelled yourself as jealous the answers on here would be different. It just all sounds quite flirty on everyone's part. He's literally said I have met someone at work that I have a connection with and I am making dinner for her and her friend. Not " I said the next time you are down I can cook dinner for us " ... I absolutely bet the one he has a connection with is single. You could say "maybe invite them over with their partners when I am next over?"
It's not about being jealous it's about having boundaries.

I wouldn't be happy with this either. If they were long term friends who had socialised a lot with a group in pubs and generally hung out a lot anyway I think it would be fine. It's because they're new friends - it's too intimate for new friends I think. I'd be fine with something like the three of them meeting up for a BBQ in a public place though. It's very nuanced isn't it!
I would just say why I was unhappy with it. My partner's reaction would tell me what I need to know.

Inviting someone round to cook for you is a bit of a weird thing to do. It's kind of rude and a bit flirty. 'Come to my house and cook for me!' I don't think I've ever asked anyone to do that except for my husband when he was my boyfriend. Normally you invite people for dinner, don't you?

I think that you'll both have to have a discussion as to whether there's a future for you together and if so, make plans for that. As PP have said, long distance relationships aren't for everyone and there's no shame in that, but it's a fact.

If there are no plans to move closer together/move in together - and there's no therapy that works, you'll have to think about whether you'll be ok with his friendships, OP. I don't read anything nefarious from what you've posted but you're upset and I'm sorry for for you. I hope there's a resolution here and that you'll be happy with it.

I've never suggested a man comes round and cooks for me unless I fancied him. Women just don't invite random men at work round to cook for them. I don't expect my partner to talk about having connections with other women either.
Jealousy is normal to an extent in relationships especially long distance ones when a man is making comments like yours.
Sometimes jealousy is an appropriate emotion.
This is completely different to him cooking for a mixed sex group. Was he planning to see these women together or have one evening cooking cosy meals for them separately? It sounds bonkers

Me too. Why is he deliberately trying to needle you and make you jealous? That's what I'd ask him next time this comes up (and there will be a next time)

Well, that’s your own (mad) rule. He doesn’t need to obey it. Cooking is just cooking. No sex is involved. DH is away for work and I cooked for a male friend last night. No one slept with anyone. No one sucked their fingers sensually with an adorable smudge of flour in their nose.

NRTFT

Work on your jealousy OP, it isn't healthy and you'll end up miserable

well i'm sure they won't have a threesome over his baked goods. chill out

At least he is being honest so that should go towards giving you some piece of mind.
In the same way, you could also test the waters and say ‘Aww, I thought your cooking was my special treat’ and see how he reacts.
If it bothers you, you are allowed to speak up and explain it makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise it’s going to eat you up especially if you don’t see other often.

Unless “cooking” is a euphemism for sex, I wouldn’t worry.

I voted YABU on reading your first post, but that “connection” remark has me reassessing. I wonder if you think you’re jealous because your previous partners have convinced you that you are, rather than the fact that you’re reacting normally to a breach of boundaries?

You need to improve your self-esteem and unclench. He's cooking for them, not laying his dick out on the table.

If you don't trust your boyfriend then he is not your partner and you will drive him away.

Then what are you thinking?
You say you would never cook for another man. Why not? Why does it matter whether it is a man or a woman. I cook for my friends when they come over regardless of their gender. Seems like a perfectly normal thing to do and most of us do it. If you think there is no risk of his cooking being so irresistible that these women jump into bed with him immediately after trying a mouthful of spag bol, then what exactly is that you worry about?

Yes, this.

and

*I think you’re getting some pretty unfair and naive comments from the “cool girl” on here op
Along with the incels blokes

Of course because women can’t be different and have different boundaries and opinions. No, they are either “cool girls” or men pretending to be women

This 'cool girl' comment is so childish, and seems to pop up on any thread where posters have a solid relationship and trust their partner.

You know trust is a good thing? It is also pretty normal in a good solid relationship. Nothing 'cool' about it. Just normality.

Have you confused sex with cooking? Otherwise this is very strange

Or it could be that OP is being completely reasonable and the issue is that her boyfriend is testing her.

You have some odd ideas on cooking. It's preparing food.

I view the cooking as something special he does for me and his closest relatives.

You may choose to view it like that. Maybe he views cooking as a perfectly normal thing that he enjoys and can do for family or friends. That would be a more normal view tbh. Jealousy is not a nice trait. If you have reason to believe he is cheating or behaving inappropriately, fair enough. Otherwise, he's doing nothing wrong.

I'm quite a jealous person

You don't get to say this as if it's just a personality quirk, as if it's on the level of "ooh I'm not a morning person" or "I have a sweet tooth lol".

It's closer to someone literally introducing themselves as an abusive person. Work on yourself. This is a you problem. When someone is a jealous person, all talk of "gut instinct" can be thrown out of the window.

FYI my partner is an amazing cook and baker, and has frequently cooked at other people's houses (including women!) for them - anyone who lives close to us but also a disabled colleague and over the years new parents. It's never occurred to me to be weird and territorial about this.

He said he had an immediate connection to one of them

I'd not be happy with this terminology and then going to cook for them to be fair.