To not want partner cooking for other women?

Hi op,

well, that won’t work is it? How on earth will you know if or if not he is cooking for someone else as you are long distance?

He kindly said something so you can veto…maybe…or testing where you are at with your feelings? Or if the relationship is « open »?
None of these would be great for you honestly…

He just made you doubt. He can’t and you can’t undo that.

Sorry op 🌺

jealousy is the problem and it will kill any relationship you have

first it’ll be the fact it’s women he’s cooking for in their place, next you’ll not want him being known as the best baker for bringing baked goods to work, next he’ll stop cooking and baking cos you don’t like it if it’s not for you.

it’s a really ugly emotion and if you truly care for him you need to work on that.

if he ends up cheating on you then he’s not worth having anyway so no loss.

The best thing to come out of this discussion with your partner would be that you address and eventually dispel feelings of jealousy. It really is an awful emotion to experience and one you would be well-advised to free yourself from. That is of course easier said than done. You are not alone - all of us have felt jealousy over someone at some time in our lives - the difference is in choosing to submit to it or learning to deal with. There are a few sites online that set out what the emotion is and offer tips and strategies for dealing with it.

You think his cooking is special, he might not if he does it all the time and takes baked goods to work

The issue is your jealous not his cooking

I feel OP would prefer to accept that the issue is hers, that she is controlling and or jealous; because she's uncomfortable that her boyfriend is cooking dinner for a woman she hasn't met and is a newly acquired work friend and her flatmate he has said he felt a connection to. It's not unreasonable to feel uncomfortable.
OP seems not to want to raise it because she basically doesn't want to rock the boat, or risk losing her bf. But saying that this is a situation she's not comfortable is setting a boundary and I can't believe the numbers on here who think she shouldn't have at least a conversation about it and instead have suggested the problem is with OP.

You are so certain about the details of their life and the content of all of their conversations based on one comment?
Having worked in an office with a lot of women of all ages, I can just as easily imagine a scenario where someone might say as a joke/compliment "Marcus, this cake you brought is amazing. What do you say, you baked it yourself? God, I wish you moved in and cooked for me/us!" In fact, my older female colleagues said it to me on multiple occasions and I never took it as an actual invitation.

You are trying to be controlling just because a woman dresses it up as jealousy does not make it right

If the women love together is it not possible that they're in a relationship with each other ? Are you worried about him going off either one?

This is fascinating. Like the time I learned from Mn that the cinema is ‘date territory’

I do genuinely wonder whether it isn’t entirely exhausting to view every single person you could technically have sex with (the milkman! Gary from HR! The next-door neighbour!) purely in those terms.

Absolutely. I think most commenters on this thread are absolutely nuts 🤣

Why would a man cook for two female work colleagues and then tell his long distance girlfriend about it?

It’s completely inappropriate and insensitive! As for everyone saying he needs a new gf, sounds to me like it should be the other way around.

Or the women could be a couple themselves

Probably the most normal comment on here

is there an end point to being long distance? As in, is this just a temporary thing? I couldn’t stand it.

You are long distance. They are work colleagues.

I don't see you have any justification for controlling his time with colleagues when you're not together. How long have you been a couple?

You don't trust him or maybe what he is offering does not suit you. Don't try to change him. You can say you don't like it but he can refuse. If he does and you can't accept it then end it.

You sound like you want a different arrangement with him, rather than long distance. If so, and it is too soon, then it tells me YABU.

Partners in long-distance relationships need to be extra careful not to engage in flirtations, which is exactly what this sounds like. Flirtations can too easily become relationships.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my partner cooking for other women either.

You are being totally unreasonable. He needs to find a new gf.

Unless ‘cooking for them’ is a euphemism, it’s quite a weird red line.

You’re entitled to not like it I suppose, but then he’s entitled to not be in a relationship with you anymore.

Other jobs exist though. I'd think more about where you'd want to be if and when you have children. Would you potentially be moving away from your family and support network to have kids with someone who wouldn't change jobs to be with you?

Why would you be the one who has to move?

I'd hate it too op.

I dare the friend who doesn't fancy him will accidentally need to stay late at work so , oh my goodness it's just him and the friend who does fancy him. Oh who would have guessed