This video shouldn’t be on his phone. It shouldn't even exist!

The way you speak about this woman isn’t particularly nice. “Conventionally beautiful” (implying she is beautiful but only in a conventional way as though both complimenting and doing her down at the same time).

“Seems to have many personal qualities that people might find attractive….” (As though other people might find her attractive but making the point that you yourself don’t. That’s how that comes across).

“She seemed more than happy to be the star of the video” (and?? Why is that relevant?)

To be clear this woman has not done anything wrong. You come across as being forced to acknowledge she seems nice/attractive to other people, but not to you with slightly barbed comments about her. As though she is partly to blame for turning your husband’s head. She hasn’t done anything wrong! She can enjoy being filmed. Or not. Maybe it’s an act. Maybe secretly she hates being filmed but is trying to look confident. Who knows. It doesn’t matter as you don’t know anything about her. And whether she likes it or not, it is YOUR “incredible” husband who has been filming her! Surely save your barbed comments for him. Enough with the woman bashing!

This is such BS. Id be seriously questioning my relationship if my DH decided I wasn't allowed to go on trips that are really good for my wellbeing. I've never seen anything untoward going on at a yoga retreat.

My DH has just returned from a meditation retreat / adventure holiday abroad. While there he met and befriended a rather nice younger lady. There is no denying that she is conventionally beautiful and seems to have many personal qualities that people might find attractive in a woman. At the very least I can say that she is independent, athletic, adventurous, and seems to have been good company.

As DH was going through the videos of their trip, I noticed him watching one particular video over and over. Actually, it was maybe only like three times - and not in a creepy way - but he did have a sort of happy, contented look that I recognised. It was the way he used to look at me a long time ago. At first glance this is just a normal video of everyone in their group, except it’s not really is it? It pans quickly passed the backs of all their heads, passed people having a chat in the corner, and then the camera settles on the real subject of the video. It is undeniable that the subject of this particular video is her. She knows the camera is on her, looks directly at it, and smiles.

My DH is not some old perv (he’s incredible) and she seemed more than happy to be the star of the video. I am not accusing her of anything, but why would DH even film a video like this? Why would anyone? It’s not a video of the group. It's not a video of the scenery. It’s obviously a video of one person, looking radiant. Why watch it back, but why even record it?

AIBU to feel maybe just a little bit insecure? This video shouldn’t even exist.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Have you been reading a Jilly Cooper novel??
Ffs, if you wanted to go on a yoga retreat and your OH said 'no, they are bonk-fests', you'd be defending your right to go where the fuck you wanted, bonk-fest or not

Ugh. The look reserved for you, for your love, is now being directed at someone else. How absolutely hurtful. I don't know if I could come back from the unease and hurt of that, personally. My friend who's done some yoga retreats/wellness stays said they are a hotbed of infidelity, but of course that's purely anecdotal.

My exh had a profile pic of him and his "best girlie friend" when we first met, embracing and looking like a couple... She definitely doesn't see him that way, but she's more than happy to take the ego boost of knowing he is obsessed with her. I heartily wish I'd never bothered with him after seeing him give her "that look",and he was only a single man at the time, not bloody married, like your H! Please don't contort yourself in any way yo get him to "pick" you. You should be enough just being who you are.

Whatever you ask though, he will deny it. I would have my radar switched completely on, and I will never accept being second best to a crush ever ever again. It destroys your confidence.

I’ve done these retreats. No bonking. Definitely not a “bonk-fest”!!!! 🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Have you been reading a Jilly Cooper novel??
Ffs, if you wanted to go on a yoga retreat and your OH said 'no, they are bonk-fests', you'd be defending your right to go where the fuck you wanted, bonk-fest or not

I understand the whole innocent until proven guilty, but everyone who is blindly defending the woman who the OPs husband fancies, how do you know nothing happened between them on this trip? The only ones who know are the OPs husband and the woman. Yes he may just be being really insensitive to the OP by being abit starry-eyed over this woman or for all we know he's already spent the night with her on this trip and is pining over her now he's back home to reality.

My DH has just returned from a meditation retreat / adventure holiday abroad. While there he met and befriended a rather nice younger lady. There is no denying that she is conventionally beautiful and seems to have many personal qualities that people might find attractive in a woman. At the very least I can say that she is independent, athletic, adventurous, and seems to have been good company.

As DH was going through the videos of their trip, I noticed him watching one particular video over and over. Actually, it was maybe only like three times - and not in a creepy way - but he did have a sort of happy, contented look that I recognised. It was the way he used to look at me a long time ago. At first glance this is just a normal video of everyone in their group, except it’s not really is it? It pans quickly passed the backs of all their heads, passed people having a chat in the corner, and then the camera settles on the real subject of the video. It is undeniable that the subject of this particular video is her. She knows the camera is on her, looks directly at it, and smiles.

My DH is not some old perv (he’s incredible) and she seemed more than happy to be the star of the video. I am not accusing her of anything, but why would DH even film a video like this? Why would anyone? It’s not a video of the group. It's not a video of the scenery. It’s obviously a video of one person, looking radiant. Why watch it back, but why even record it?

AIBU to feel maybe just a little bit insecure? This video shouldn’t even exist.

I'm afraid these 'retreats' are well known as being essentially bonk fests and are overwhelmingly attended by single adults, so I'm amazed and frankly mystified that you were ok with your DH going tbh.

I'd be packing his bags. You do not need proof.

@ClytemnestraWasMisunderstood It’s obvious what it means - it means if the OP leaves it and doesn’t voice her concerns then the massive crush he has will have time to flourish and develop.

OP he’s utterly infatuated with her. Address it.

I'm wondering why your husband was going abroad on a meditation adventure trip without you. Is that usual? I can understand a couple of days away for a meeting to do with work or something, or a sporting event, that happens, but what you describe sounds like an idyllic escape from mundane life. I'm sure most of us would all like to do that at times but generally don't without our spouses and it's not always practical or even affordable.

If he goes on things like that he is bound to meet people with whom he bonds and will remember with affection.

I don't know what to think, I suggest you talk to him and find out where he's at.

No, you're not being unreasonable to feel insecure.
His head has clearly been turned.

Confront the situation head on; this will only manifest and get worse.

I'm wondering why your husband was going abroad on a meditation adventure trip without you. Is that usual? I can understand a couple of days away for a meeting to do with work or something, or a sporting event, that happens, but what you describe sounds like an idyllic escape from mundane life. I'm sure most of us would all like to do that at times but generally don't without our spouses and it's not always practical or even affordable.

If he goes on things like that he is bound to meet people with whom he bonds and will remember with affection.

I don't know what to think, I suggest you talk to him and find out where he's at.

I'm wondering why your husband was going abroad on a meditation adventure trip without you. Is that usual? I can understand a couple of days away for a meeting to do with work or something, or a sporting event, that happens, but what you describe sounds like an idyllic escape from mundane life. I'm sure most of us would all like to do that at times but generally don't without our spouses and it's not always practical or even affordable.

If he goes on things like that he is bound to meet people with whom he bonds and will remember with affection.

I don't know what to think, I suggest you talk to him and find out where he's at.