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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect to see more women supporting other women?

33 replies

WhimsicalGubbins76 · 14/10/2024 23:02

Just as the title says really. Women have faced centuries of abuse and misogyny from the opposite sex, but if we’re being really, brutally honest, we’re often awful to each other. I see it in these boards every day-most women are supportive, yes. But you also see so many that just jump into the comments to throw about abuse like it’s a sport. How many comments do you see that have been removed by MNHQ? How many spats do you see breaking out in the comments? How many derogatory remarks? I’m not claiming to be innocent, I’ve risen to it when goaded, I’ve called people out for being a troll poster. But why do we do it? We should be lifting each other, not knocking each other down.

YABU- It’s just the way the world is, get over it
YANBU- yes women should stick up for each other and support each other more

OP posts:
Sailonsilverrgirl · 14/10/2024 23:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SouthLondonMum22 · 14/10/2024 23:47

I’m not going to automatically support someone just because they happen to be a woman. Women do plenty of things that don’t deserve support.

MrsPinkSky · 14/10/2024 23:46

#Be kind?

No thanks.

The reason I love Mumsnet is because the women on here will challenge others, and won't just blindly offer support because the poster has a vagina.

Yes, some posters are dicks and trolls but the majority on here are not.

WhimsicalGubbins76 · 14/10/2024 23:46

Absolutely agree about having honesty. Honesty has always been my policy, and heated discussions are also fine, they’re constructive and allow for many viewpoints.
But on the other side of the coin, you see so much nastiness disguised as honesty, and some don’t even bother to disguise it. There seems to be a fine line between honesty and just plain old cruel.

OP posts:
NewName24 · 14/10/2024 23:43

I haven't voted, as I think YABU to say you should stand up for someone just because she is a woman, but not for the reason in your OP.

I always to what I can to stand up for what is right , and if it happens that it is a woman who is behaving awfully, I am not going to stand up for her because she happens to be a woman.
Yes, Women have faced centuries of abuse and misogyny , and, as such I try and support where I can with that in mind, in the same way I do for any group that is being or has been discriminated against, but that isn't blanket permission for women to behave poorly and then expect support.

Yes, I think as humans, we should all try and boost people when the opportunity arises. I try and say something nice when I can, but I say it to people whatever sex they are.

mamajong · 14/10/2024 23:40

I always try to be a good person but sometimes on here people ask for opinions and then lambast anyone who doesn't agree with them. I think it's refreshingly honest here, but yes you do see some plain spiteful replies. Equally though, if your response is anything other than 'leave the b***d' when someone is asking about a relationship, you can be on the receiving end of nonsensical buzz words, as though by disagreeing with that one post, you have letdown the whole sisterhood.

It's great when we can celebrate our differences as well as our common ground.

Palmyera · 14/10/2024 23:16

Humans can be horrible to other humans. We’re all flawed, we have capacity to be rationally hurt and irrationally hurt others. Some humans are not nice irrespective of sex. It’s the way it’s always been.

Professionally I manage 3 young women. My job is to stand them on my shoulders, leverage my progress and achieve more, and they are. But there was a 4th I couldn’t stand. Hated her gamesmanship with others. Her back stabbing. I passed her off to someone else. No shoulders for her.

Thedogscollar · 14/10/2024 23:07

I think the anonymity of this forum definitely gives some people on it more opportunity to be unsupportive, nasty and rude with their comments.
On the other hand I've seen amazing supportive comments from women to women.
It's social media it can bring you down it can raise you up.

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