To expect to see more women supporting other women?

GreyCarpet That's true. Maybe when we see a woman being laughed at or put down by a guy, we could reassure her or help her defend herself. There's far too much casual sexism around and a lot of women believe it and internalise it and many others shrug it off like it doesn't matter, when it does affect them inside. They are on autopilot because it's being happening for years

I am a feminist and a woman. I support women if they are being abused for being a woman. I support men if they are decent, kind, respectful.
However I have seen the nasty side of MN with personal abusive posts directed at me with a totally made up dialogue.
I no longer comment on the FWR board due to the constant aggression. The posters are definitely women but their utter refusal to engage with an alternative view is beyond me.
Not all women are nice. I work in a female dominated industry hence the user name however as with another pp my best bosses have been women.

Surely this kind of thinking send women backwards? If we blindly support something because of the 'sisterhood' where do we draw the line...a woman abusing her children just needs my support and it will all be okay?
We also need to remember that some women are arseholes (I could be one of those depending on who you are/what day it is/how you take to my personality etc) we are not all meek, demure lovely creatures wafting around bringing up families while smelling of roses!
It is too simplistic to say we should support someone because they are a woman.

What would_should this look like though?

Women hold the full range of world views, beliefs and attitudes; women are critical thinkers and also have limited critical thinking skills; women make good decisions and women make bad decisions.

Would you really stick up for someone and support them no matter what purely because they were a woman?

How sad @BalletCat

That is the complete opposite of my many years of meeting people from all sorts of different backgrounds.

I find that the sisterhood is rare to find and most women are bitchy, competitive and only like you as long as you aren't doing better than them. I don't get any support from most women in my life I get snide remarks and one upmanship or jealousy if I'm doing better than them or judgement if I'm not doing as good as them. On the flip side most of the men in my life are very kind to me and are caring in a gentlemanly way.

I have a small group of female friends who are ride or die but most just can't stand other women being better than them so try to tear eachother down. I much prefer a male dominated work team, when you get too many women together in one place all hell breaks loose.

As a new mother I've found very little support from other women, mostly judgement about feeding/how I have birth or snide comments about the fact my baby sleeps well so I clearly don't really know what motherhood is like or I would look knackered and rough because that's the way it's supposed to be! I've honestly even had a bitchy comment about my hair looking nice because I shouldn't have time to do my hair and they looked a mess when their baby was the same age so fuck me! Honestly the mind boggles.

It would be nice if women could be nicer to eachother but I don't see it happening.

I completely agree with you. The thought has crossed my own mind a few times. We should be supporting each other and sticking up for each other more

God no. My two best bosses were female. And the worst by a mile was an under qualified wanker man who was promoted to the point of his incompetence. He still hates that I went from his underling to being above him in another organisation and he has to come, cap in hand, to ask me for things.

Fucker.

Exactly.

It's also incredibly subjective. Some people cry bully and attacking just because others dare to disagree with them.

I think my point is that I’ll save my support for my real life interactions. I realise that for some this is possibly the only outlet they have, but the internet enables inauthenticity and I can’t blindly support that

Where’s the line between brutally honest and vile, or between good and bad? In my time, under other user names I’ve been called an angel, a wonderful compassionate woman and a piece of work and utter bitch. Because no one knows the real context of my posts or knows me. None of the facts I’ve posted that has garnered those names is untrue, or inconsistent with who I am. But we are all just getting that snapshot of each other. Context is irrelevant when we’re anonymous to each other.

Yes she has.

She's also made comments about abuse and personal attacks being deleted - as I'm sure she agrees it should be.

Give me a male boss any day! 🤣

Exactly. I'm not going to support someone purely because of their sex. Sometimes human beings behave appallingly, and that includes women - and of course it includes women on here.

I agree with you OP - and I would love to see more of it in real life. As a person I am willing to be friendly. I find that it’s not always reciprocated by others.

I’ll give an example. I find men generally have this bro code. I’ve been to weddings and parties with my partner, and they will give him a handshake, smile, sometimes I leave and I’ll ask him “do you know these guys?” He will say “no” - there is a way that men connect with eachother (generally) where they will always put eachother first. (I admit this is my theory and I am generalising but I’’m sticking to it based on my experience).

On the other hand, if I was to approach a group of women in a similar social setting, a percentage would be nice, but gosh, unless you are the life of the party type of character - it can be such hard work! It would be nice if generally, we had each others backs a little bit more.

I’ve found this to be true in many rooms I’ve walked into. I must say, I personally have a very good group of female friends. I also work in a female dominated industry and there are plenty of women that are nice.

Yes it would be lovely if all women supported one another because the patriarchy damages all of humanity, with women and girls hit hardest.

However, many women are Handmaidens including many of the middle class white feminists who will hold up placards talking about representation in board rooms but don’t give a fuck what happens to young poor girls living on estates around the corner from their house.

Look at the furore over the Garrick membership. The Guardian must have had an hourly update on the outrage of it being a men only club. Then as soon as the rules were changed and upper class white women could sit alongside their DHs and brothers, all was fine and it went quiet again.

Many women use the sisterhood for personal gain. They just want to be in the Boardroom next to their husbands. They will not help or even trample on anyone not like them who tries to come up. That’s why you don’t see many minorities or working class women in mainstream feminist movements.

Many women have learned that whilst another woman is unlikely to hit you, you may still need to be wary.

Totally agree.

I think you’ve misunderstood my intention of my post

Ah, so this is just the weekly "should we all #bekind" thread then ?

I think this is just the bi-weekly 'everyone on MN is awful' type thread.

The thing is OP, while name changing is allowed, this problem will never go away.

People can be a dick in one name and an angel in another. If they had to stick to one name they'd be less of a dick, because no-one would bother talking to them otherwise.

But MN wouldn't work without name changing, so here we are 🤷‍♂️

Some of the shitty posters say they are women, yes. But a lot of them are probably men telling us off for talking.

And I like the plain speaking. It's refreshing.

I never quite know what people want when they post this observation (it gets posted very regularly!)

Are we just supposed to agree with everyone? Have the same values? Politics? Faith? Just cheer on the ones who don’t believe in discipline so have feral kids? Or not give tough love to the clueless women who don’t realise they’re neck deep in abuse? Or not educate the entitled ones that think all poor people are thick and feckless? Are transwomen really women?

Whose values are you using as the barometer for the lifting up and the knocking down?