I am too old, aren’t it?

This

But why if he is so perfect and been together 7yrs why didn't you start ttc 3/4yrs ago when 40 as would have given you a better chance

How long have you been with him?

Personally I wouldn't, your DC will be going through a lot of changes and academic demands soon and disruption of that with a baby is careless IMO.

I sympathise though, I was a lone parent for years, met my partner early 40s and we definitely could have gone for it but it would have been a stupid decision for our DCs, my career and our financial situations.

In fact we took a really sensible decision in the end, and we are only just about to move in together and blend families as the DC are now at the right age.

I’d think you were a bloody idiot, sorry.

Pregnancy and childbirth will be extra tiring in your mid-40s, not to mention the exhaustion of a newborn. I can see the temptation but realistically, it's going to change everything for you and your family. It will be tough.

Had my 2nd & 3rd at 41 & 43. My DH is 8 years younger. Life is sometimes hard. As it was 15 years ago ago when I had my first. As it was at 20 and 25. The difference is I'm now in a mature, loving marriage. I'm calm, financially stable, able to give all the kids my time without having to work ridiculous hours to afford them. My teen is delighted to have a bigger family. She has her moments, we all do, but going through the stresses of her life doesn't make her less able to appreciate more love in her life.

I think being physically fit is what matters most here. It's not like he's 20. He's what, 37? Hardly young for a first time dad. What I wouldn't do is put all your emotions into it. It IS harder to get pregnant, it can be harder to have an easy pregnancy, and it is just all too easy to get too caught up in trying. If you can both casually dump the coil and see, I'd do it.

If you have been together 7 years why didn’t you make this decision 5 years ago? Personally I think 44 is at the outer edge of a reasonable age. I wouldn’t have considered it, but plenty do with no problem.

Please don't.

Genuinely just don't. My dad was 46 when I was born, mum 36. It means I'm 25 and facing the reality of my dad being dead within the next 10 years and not being here for my wedding etc., my children (if I have them) growing up without grandparents on their mums side, I was 21 when my last grandparent died. My family is tiny and I hate it, I don't have any of the support that a lot of other people have due to their ages. My aunts and uncles are all older and have health issues, most of them probably won't be alive if I get married after the age of about 30. It's a horrible thing to live with.

I dont think my main concern would be your age, 44 doesn't seem to old. It would be more important to make the right decision for the children I already had. I'd want to know I was still able to fully support them both emotionally and financially. I think only you know the impact it would have on you and them.

Is it the best thing for your current children? This is the most important question

The second most important is are you financially independent if it turns out he can't cope with being a step dad AND dad to a newborn?

It was an overseas adoption as domestic adoption is very rare in Ireland. He was 8 months.

Have you actually talked to him about the practicalities of having a baby though? will he step up and get up at night, what happens if you get PND, what happens if your teens dont handle it well, what if your baby has disabilities because the risk is higher the older you are.

It sounds somewhat impulsive (and easy) for him to say get your coil removed and let's see what happens!! - thats not really considering all these other factors is it? If I was having a baby at that age I would want more than an expression like that. I would want confirmation and affirmation that he is going to help me and that he can handle any potential challenges,, that he recognises the work and exhaustion involved and that he has thought this through properly. If you haven't talked it through and considered all those things then I think you need to be very very wary, personally. A man who has never had kids has literally no idea how much work there is involved and no matter how happy you are now, it will put a strain on your relationship- it does for everyone, regardless of how much in love you are.

It's not too old if you are fit and well and you both want a baby.

I would imagine if you had your kids when you were in your early 20s and you're granny by the time you're 40 then I guess you'd think it was too old.

But it's not our choice to make.

The reason not to is that there are two teenagers involved. It's not just about OP and her partner.

It’s great that it worked out for you. However, in a situation, where there is trauma involved, the most likely outcome is that having another child will traumatise her children further and could send them completely off the rails. Any baby would be a toddler at most when op’s dd is sitting GCSEs. This does not sound like a good combination.

Only you can decide. Weight up the pros and cons, you've done all the wakeful nights, nappies, childhood illnesses, would you mind doing it again? It's also important that you are well and have a fairly youthful outlook. If the answer to both is 'yes', there's no reason why not - but do it soon! There's no time to waste. That baby will be so, so loved.

You would be playing Russian roulette with the possibility of having a child with disabilities or special needs. Which would not be the end of the world and might not even happen, but if it did, are you completely confident that your new partner would stick around to help raise the child`?

It'd be too old for me. Having my second and last (all being well) at 35 and I am definitely done! Honestly, I miss my husband and can't wait to have quality time with him again in the next few years without constantly being exhausted from spinning plates. Babies and toddlers are such hard work and I'm sure it won't get much easier when they're both out of the toddler stage.

But if it's something you both truly want... Don't delay.

We adopted our daughter when I was 44, she was one year old. Has been totally fine!

What about adoptive fathers?

Talk it through together, if you want to have another child and he would like to have kids with you I dont really see where the problem is. What either of you would want is for him to feel like he gave up the chance of having children with you later down line and you regretting not doing it when you could have.

If you feel well and are in a good place in your life, I'd say go for it. You could always have a chat to your doctor and get a check up first if you wanted to.. to talk through and risks

I wouldn't. I'd be too worried to lose the relationship.
He is 7 years younger. He actually hasn't a clue whether he'll enjoy parenthood - it's rather experimental. He might end up a part-time dad of one, whilst OP a single mum of three. The stakes are not the same.

I had my youngest at 44. They're at University now. I still feel so blessed.

Neither you nor the planet needs more kids. Leave it. Enjoy your lovely new partner and I wish you all the best.