I am too old, aren’t it?

Personally I wouldn't want to be 14/15 and have a 60 year old parent. You;re happy OP and a baby is going to turn you and your families lives upside down. Just be happy with what you have.

Exactly.

Does he have any idea of the reality of the daily grind of baby, toddler, school child life? Or is it just a vague "l'd love to be a dad.."?

Is he willing to marry and combine assets? Would he fully support the household on maternity leave?

What will he do if the child has special needs? Would he cut hours or sacrifice his career to become a carer?

What if you have injuries at the birth like tears and incontinence? Is he up for supporting you through that and maybe going without sex for years of recovery and reconstruction?

How does he do on little sleep?

Go for it. The majority of people start having kids in their 30s now, and loads of people I know have their first or subsequent in their 40s.

The stats say that there is an increased risk of certain disorders after 40, which I'm sure you're abundantly aware of. Not to put you off, but if I were you (and i might be soon as I'm early 40s and trying for another), I'll have the harmony/nipt test if i do fall pregnant so I can be aware very early on it there are certain issues.

So no, not unreasonable. You'll only regret what you don't try...

I think you'd be bonkers, quite frankly. Not necessarily because of your age, but because you already have two teenagers whose lives would be completely turned upside down.

I'd also have a good hard think about whether you'd want to raise a small as a single parent in your fifties. Not because I think your partner is necessarily a bad person, but because a lot of relationships break down and you'd be the one left doing all the grunt work.

I think if you're going to try, do it properly- et a fertility MOT, really look afteryourselves with supplements and managing stress etc.

But before you do that

1. does he absolutely do 50% of housework, household planning and mental load?

2. have a frank and open conversation about what happens if it does happen but the baby is diagnosed with a medically limiting condition in utero, or born with one - how would you handle that. For me the fear wasn't having a baby at 44. It was having a sick baby.

It’s true though.

@AngelicKaty it's not ageist to say that sometimes you're too old to become a parent.

Me too. I firmly believe that a high proportion of men are ambivalent at best about having children and agree only to please their partners.

Indeed. And this opinion is ageist.

The Op herself was questioning wether she was too old ,it,s a public forum ,people will have a variety of opnions.

A friend of mine had a baby at 44, yes they needed help via IVF, and this was a second relationship. She had older children, as she had them with her ex husband, when much younger. They have a little girl who has turned 2! No, you're not too old.

I wouldn't at that age ,physically you can get pregnant, but there are increased risks if miscarriage, disabilities etc,but only you can decide if the risks are worth bit.

Another question might be " those of you in you at 54 with 10 year olds..those of you still working 65 to help your children at university...."

She said she met him after 7 years, not that they've been together that long. Unless I've missed it, I don't know if she's said how long they've been together? (Which would also be a factor in whether to have a dc together or not, along with financial set up, work, marriage and other boring but important practicalities)

Yes I'm pretty sure that higher incidence of twins in older women was a thing long before IVF/etc.

Not necessarily. I was told by a dr (in more medical terms!) that the ovaries sometimes start firing out two eggs a month as we get closer to peri hence twins are more common the older we get I believe. This is another reason I was determined to be done by 35! Might be something to consider OP! 😂 How would you like twins? I'm joking btw.

I wouldn't. Your life sounds good after a lot of stress.

I didn't say you weren't entitled to your opinion. I said it was ageist, which it is.

I was born to older parents. I gave birth as older parent. All been great for me - settled and secure occupations, stable home, maturity of judgement, wisdom. DP is even older and as semi retired has been able to spend so much time with our teens, it's beautiful. So sod off with your ageism.

Yeah right…. Twins in the older pt/celebrity suggests help….

I had a surprise baby at 40 (well she was born one day before I turned 41🤣). My other dd was 15. My gorgeous toddler is literally the best- i was hesitant to have another due to some genetic issues diagnosed in family member. She makes me feel younger, happier, ok I am probably a bit more tired but I wouldn't change a thing - I say go for it !! But start now as may take a while .. remunerating over it will just age you more 😉 on a side note I had an older dad -he was 55 when I was born . He had far more energy and was so much more fun than my mum who was 38 and couldn't cope with noise/ mess etc ..good luck

No, just a realistic. The Op asked for opinions and I have my honest opinion.

Wow, could you be more ageist? 🙄

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

As I said up the thread I'm a child born to older parents and while I love them, the strain is awful.

Not to old at all!