I am too old, aren’t it?

I really wouldn't.

How long have you been together?

It'd be a high risk pregnancy. If all goes well and no issues with you or baby, then you'll still be knackered. Babies put a big strain on relationships and this is your relationship with your partner and your existing children and their relationships to each other too.

It could be wonderful but it's a big gamble and one I wouldn't take.

Thanks for this - I needed to hear it. I'm having my second and last but people ask if we'll have a third. While I can see why some would like more DC, I actually miss my relationship with my DH. Genuinely excited to have dinners out with just us in the future and talk about things other than nappy output and troubleshooting sleeping problems. We have a good marriage but having just one DC (who doesn't sleep) has been testing. We're having ours close together all being well as I can't imagine having another when we're out of nappies and things with our oldest. I appreciate life can get in the way and that's not always an option though for many reasons!

I had a baby at 44. My third and very much an accident. Yes he will have older parents. Yes the pregnancy was bloody hard (but I have a heart condition so....) and yes I am exhausted a lot.of the time but he is the best. He is delightful and he has made my life so much richer. Do it. Life is too short to have regrets. I have enjoyed him so much more - probably because I am older!

I have a friend who was a child of older parents - they were in their 40s. But they are still around now where most of us are losing our younger parents.

No idea about you but I wouldn’t- no way. My children are the same age as yours and there is a really fun part of life just about to start for me. Holidays, flexibility, following hobbies, passions with a freedom that we haven’t had for a decade. Your relationship sounds wonderful and you would get to enjoy each other with more time, money and freedom

Thats so odd! It can’t have been that unusual to have a kid at 40 about 15 years ago. Even more common to have kids in your mid to late 30s and, about 15 years later, who would be able to tell the difference?

'as if this applies to all older parents by default' is your own editorialising. It's not in there and you seeing it doesn't make it so. We can agree to disagree ofc but I'm not the one calling people ageist on the basis of something you've imagined. Maybe if you want more acceptance, don't start accusing people so harshly.

If someone has a child 40-45, then by the time their child is 25, they will barely be touching 70. Is it very usual to be passing away aged 65-70? I’d say that’s young to pass away - we all hope and expect to get to 80/85 nowadays surely? Many people are still working until 70! Though of course, no one’s tomorrow is promised.

And I’m actually in my 30s now, and they are still in fantastic health. I anticipate many more years with them thank you very much.

My grandmother (who I never got to meet) passed in her 30s suddenly in good health. My other grandmother is in good health and lives independently in her 90s. We never know how long we will have with our parents. It’s always a gamble.

@MissionaryMumtoOne wait till they're in poor health and you're realising you only got 25-35 years with your parents as opposed to the 40-50 you thought you'd get.

I have a teenage niece with older parents - just forty when they had her so not hugely so. She was teased at primary school and asked if it was her grandparents. Both parents young at heart and not out of touch. Both great parents too but it didn't stop her being teased about them.

It's all very well saying this. Yes, it's not impossible. I know a woman of 51 who naturally conceived. She wasn't trying and thought she was in menopause. So yes, it does happen.
However, it's not just about how OP feels, it's about the quality of her eggs (and her partner's sperm), it's also about whether her hormone levels can support a pregnancy. The chance of getting pregnant at 44 is about 4% according to some sources. If she does get pregnant, there's about a 50% chance of miscarriage. So if she wants to try, that's fine but she needs to be aware the her chances are low.

And when your children are 25 and facing getting married without you there?

It's always fine until it's not.

Biological fact is I had kids on 40s and am very healthy, happy and in touch with them
...more than quite a few younger parents of teens. So I think it is ageism

When I wanted to be sterilised at 42 my gynae was reluctant as I had no kids and told me that women in their late 40s were deciding to have children. It's not medically impossible so it's about how you feel.

I didn't take her comments individually but as a whole and I didn't dispute the facts of her maths - that would be stupid. The summarising statement of her comments is that her friend's older parents were "so out of touch with everything" as if this applies to all older parents by default - that is ageist and if you can't see that we'll just have to agree to disagree.

But very few women had babies over 50 even before contraception was available. 45/46 is a completely different ballpark and a far greater number of women have babies between 45 and 49 than at over 50.

That's prob as most people still use contraceptive incase they got preg

I know j did. Def didn't want a baby at 48/50😂

Tho due to issues I had having no 1 I prob wouldn't get preg

Then again they say after ivf some do become fertile and say now be careful

But know of a mum getting preg at 45/46 as ttc and natural preg after a few mc

This. It's ridiculous to call people 'ageist' purely for stating biological facts.

No offence intended, but I doubt this VERY much. If you do have a 53 y.o. friend who is pregnant, it's extremely unlikely that it was a natural conception.

Yes extremely unlikely! Before the days of IVF, around 50 women a year in the U.K. had babies over the age of 50. And you can bet that almost all of them were actually aged 50 or 51!

Not necessarily, you might just need to try and accept that it might not happen, there is an increased risk of miscarriage, and also have all your prenatal screening as there is increased risk of Downs etc.
If you're happy to take that risk, and feel like your older children would cope then I would say go for it.
Lots of women your age do have children naturally.

Throwing accusations of 'isms' around whenever people are discussing the reality of life is really irritating and there's no need. Obviously people know it doesn't apply to every single situation. It's still fine for people to say that being the child of older parents is/can be hell, and conversely for people to say they don't think they would do it again, or that they don't recommend others do it. Indeed it's also completely fine to hold the opinion that it's selfish. OP has asked for opinions, and people are giving their opinions, from varying perspectives. That's how discussion works.

If it's ok to offer a male perspective, I've found myself saying things like this in the past, as others have said it's a 50% enthusiasm and I think needs more examination.

If it's ok to offer an opinion, spend time having time and fun with your two children, keep driving them to parties and, in a few years time, enjoy being to go out on dates because both the kids are doing something rather than be stressed over a five year old.

It's not just about age though.

You are happy as things are, as is he, as are your children. Even if a pregnancy went well and the baby was healthy, you are still blending a family with somone who has never had children. Being good with your children as your partner is very different from being a first time dad managing a baby and the changes that come with that, along with step parenting two older children.

You would have one child living with both parents whilst your older children have a dad (is he the abusive one ? ) that they don't live with. How will they feel about that as time goes on ? How will you deal with inheritances (as an example) and making sure they are all treated equally within the family unit ? Will his family treat all your children equally at Christmas and birthday etc ?

Don't undervalue what you currently have.

The bits you've underlined don't make your case:

You need to think about the child, when they are due to start school,

This is true, something that needs thinking about.

you would be nearly 50 and starting to hit the menopause.

Also true, no one would dispute.

When they are due to leave school you will be hitting 60!!

Also true.

My friend growing up had older parents and hated it as they were so out of touch with everything.

This is the poster's experience she's relating, which was true for her friend.

If you want to make a case for ageism or someone just being plain wrong on here, I don't see how this does that. The poster disagrees with you and you've balanced out her take with your own, but this isn't the evidence you think it is.