I am too old, aren’t it?

Also - now at 60 I can't imagine running around after two demanding toddlers (one with SEN). But I did it very easily in my mid 40s.

Lots to consider before trying OP. For £ security you may want your partner to marry you and demonstrate commitment that way before you even go down this route. Get tested, what is your egg quality? Dexa scan, what is your bone health? A pregnancy may not be viable, a live birth may have profound disabilities. Are you both ready for any of these possibilities- would you ultimately have ivf and for how long? Your DCs undoubtedly suffered in the violence their dad inflicted around the home, I think you should consider their reaction to the idea of a half sibling. When it gets tough do you think I you’ll be left holding the baby? This all sounds negative but the risks of problems do increase with age, not fair but true. Good luck with whatever you decide

At 44 I wanted to have a baby, I didnt feel 'too old' at all, but at 55, I'm glad it didn't happen. Just the thought of a child starting senior school & then the teen years/uni etc. I do NOT have the energy to give them all they'd have needed from me, but I didn't think I'd feel like this at 55, when I was 44, I was full of life!!

tough call.

Had my DTs at 44 - just didn't meet the right man earlier. Best thing I ever did - they are now 16 and while I had a great life before, I always knew I wanted kids and am so lucky to be a Mum. Obviously you have DCs already but it might be lovely to do it with your new DP......

My DCs have had occasional jokes about me being older than xx friend's granny, and are of course aware that their friends now usually have much younger family members. But it's never been an issue. Luckily DH (55) and I (60) are in good health and very active, but none of us know when we might get run over by a bus!

DCs are also aware that we have a great lifestyle - biggish house all paid for, me being able to be a SAHM when they were young, nice holidays, land and horses to ride etc, all due to us working and not having children until later in life. I am now getting my work pension and also have a small part time job, DH is about to leave work, so we have time that many families don't have to spend with their children, so there are definitely pros and cons.

But if you want to - I'd say definitely go for it!! Good luck!

Personally I wouldn’t, I think it’s too old.

im 48 , relatively fit and active and I couldn’t imagine running about after a 3 or 4 year old. My children are in their 20s, both independent which leaves dh and I time for holidays, breaks away and days out without having to plan babysitters etc.

No one knows.

You may still have heathy eggs or you may not.

Go to a fertility doctor asap. Get tested. Find out. Then make decisions

Your not too old at all. But I'm still ovulating with 28 cycle. I'm 50 and pretty sure that although I'm definitely ovulating like clockwork, I couldn't have another baby. So just preceed with the knowledge that your eggs also 44 and it might not all fall into place. But of course it might.

I think this is very sensible. You need to be able to consider these with your head, not your heart.

It's easy to get carried away with excitement but the practicalities are something that must be considered. I would also consider your kids who have been through your ex abusive relationship and what their needs might be too now. If your time and attention is taken up with a newborn, how will it affect them?

That doesnt mean it should be a no but you would be very foolish not to consider the above, very carefully.

That or she's in the lucky under one percentile

Yes, you’re definitely too old.

I had a surprise pregnancy at 43 and while my husband was shocked at first, thinking our family was already complete, we were so excited and now have an absolutely amazing child that we could not live without. It was the best thing that ever happened to our family.

You do get outliers who have babies in their 50s ..... They are extreme outliers, but they exist. I think the oldest recorded natural pregnancy is around 60.

My sister's running club buddy fell pregnant unplanned at 48 and had the baby.

Isn’t it just? I never understand some of the really rude nasty replies on these boards.

your friend has had IVF with donor eggs and is not telling you.
That, or she is an off the scale medical anomaly.
I hope she tells the children the truth.

I also wouldn't. You have kids, he's happy to not. I would focus on counting your blessings and enjoying your life as it is.

On one hand I know two women who had unplanned babies at 45. And a 44 yr old lady bought a bit of baby equipment off me for her young baby.

So it's possible for some people (not sure if the buying lady had had fertility treatment or not).

Also him being 7 years younger is in your favour. .

On the other hand, fertility seems to cliff dive for many women after 42.

You mention regular periods but that's not the main factor; it's the egg quality & viability. Periods will happen whether the egg that didn't get fertilised was viable or not.

Your risk of abnormalities is climbing relatively steeply.

That could result in miscarriages. Which are a obviously not a pleasant thing to endure. Or it could result in a fetus with abnormalities.

To be very honest, your best bet would be donor eggs with your partner's sperm. That is obviously expensive, you'd have to go through the rigours of IVF and your child would not be related to you biologically.

You can certainly just try naturally - ubiquinol is recommended.

I would use trackers and make sure you're having sex at the right time. Though nature often does that for you.

I'm not going to comment on the pros and cons re. your existing children.

53?! Do you mean 43 and it’s a typo?

I wouldn’t, however we made the conscious decision to have any children before we were 35, that was our cut off. We didn’t want to be older parents. As someone upthread said your children have already been through a lot as have you, I’d enjoy what you have.

You’re 44. You’re still ovulating and you have a desire for a baby.
You. Are. Not. Too. Old
I, however, am 41, perimenopausal, only one ovary left and it rarely ovulates anymore, grown up kids, NO desire for a baby whatsoever (I’d rather have more cats 🤣) therefore, even though I’m 3 years younger, I am too old 🤣

I know people that had a child mid forties and all is fine with them, BUT it was their first ( and only)

I have a 10 year gap between mine with my first in my early 20s and second early 30s and boy did I ( well still do) feel it, but more so now I am 49 with a 16 year old, because I still have to “parent” and the whole gcse, parents evenings, uniform buying, general teenage mularky, etc, I simply don’t have the patience for it anymore like I did with my first son, 10 years ago 😂 but what can I do, I just have to plod on for a few more years.

Plus I am always tried with this damn pesky perimenopause crap, and I’m always tired because if it’s not night sweats waking me it’s the fact I simply can’t sleep. To have all this going on ( and mine isn’t even that bad compared to some) and caring for a toddler/5 year old is crazy to me.

That said I think if you feel like you can handle it, In good health in general and partner is super supportive I say you should consider it ☺️

Wow, that's rude.

I would recommend going to your gp straight away. Tell him you have been trying for 1+ years and get your tests done. In the meantime, get vitamins and ovulation strips and track your cycle as well. Age is a big factor, and it isn't easy to get pregnant after 37 for a lot of people. Fertility declines rapidly in your late 30s, unfortunately. Some people are very lucky and manage to get pregnant. I've been trying since January unsuccessfully. You won't know until you try.

I wish you good luck.

Failed statistics did you?

I'd do some soul searching first, and have a frank conversation with your partner, about a few things;

• If you don't conceive, will you try IVF? How much would you be willing to spend?

• How long would you want to try for, before giving up or trying fertility treatment?

• If you have complications in pregnancy / postnatally, is he able to support you and your existing children?

• What you would do if the baby was screened and found to have a disability?

• What if the child was born autistic?

Probably there are other things too, that I haven't thought of. If you're on the same page, then I don't think it's too old. But I do think you need to have looked at it from all angles before you make a decision, and be informed.