AIBU to apply for 9 certificates in respect of pregnancy loss.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/certificates-recognising-heartbreak-of-losing-a-baby-extended

You might decide to tell them. My child at 6 had it explained that pregnancy does not always go smoothly. I believe it is important to tell your story to those close to you and normalise these things. Only when I had an ectopic pregnancy and was open about it and my aunts were told did 2 of them talk about having had them themselves when younger. It was never discussed with their siblings at the time which is a real shame as they could have supported each other.

I am not personally keen on the certificates retrospectively, my losses were very difficult and emotional at the time but I try and view them as medical events I have moved on from. They a very real part of my history and I am not sure what I would do with a certificate.

I would like pregnancy loss recorded better as a whole moving forward and I like that it is more widely discussed and acknowledged.

You should apply if it will help OP. Do you know how these are administered? Can you apply for the loss of a baby in multiple pregnancy where there were surviving siblings?

How do you do this please?

It's no way unreasonable or indulgent at all.

I have thought about this, but I have not told my 2 ds and if I had the certificates they would one day find them, possibly after my death. Which I think would be very awkward.
I have a bracelet to remember them by.
I do think it is a good thing to have this option.

Of course you would not be unreasonable.

I would very much like to apply for one for my eldest child but sadly I don't think I can, as I think I need the permission of her father who is deceased now.

I'm requesting a certificate, for me it's a bit of recognition that my baby existed. I found it hard having to act like nothing happened and society expects us to just move on.

You should do whatever you think best. If you want 9, apply for 9.

You do whatever you need to do OP, you are definitely not being unreasonable in applying for 9 certificates. I am really sorry for your losses, and I hope the certificates are helpful to you. You are very brave to post about this.

💐 to everyone who has suffered a loss.

It really doesn't matter if anyone else thinks you are reasonable or unreasonable. These are personal - if you will benefit in anyway, even if it is a small way, do it.

You can apply from any date now, effective from this Monday.
We applied for our eldest daughter who we lost in 1998 x

Personal choice. If it feels helpful to you then of course apply.

I had 3 early losses when I hadn’t yet had 12 week scans and for those I wouldn’t want a certificate myself. Like you, I don’t know exact dates anymore as it was a long time ago. I hadn’t in those situations calculated due dates or thought about names so I am not sure what the certification would say.

Fuck knows who’s voting unreasonable!

DH wants to get one for our baby, I’m not ready yet. But we will.

Yeah, I was shocked by that. What could possibly be unreasonable?

You are not being unreasonable.

I'm so very sorry for all of your losses.

I think it's a very personal thing, and while I absolutely don't feel the need to do this for myself, I think it is absolutely reasonable to apply if you feel that the certificates would be helpful and meaningful to you. They have been introduced for the benefit of those who value them, so all that matters in this situation is that it is clearly important for you to acknowledge each of the losses that you have suffered in this way.

I hope that doing so will bring you some peace and a sense that your losses have been recognised in some way.

I think you do what you what helps you.

I find it unfathomable that 63% of people have voted that you would be unreasonable. Of course you wouldn't be. If you feel it would bring you any measure of comfort of closure, you should absolutely do it. I'm so sorry for your many losses.

Really? I looked a few days ago and the website still had the 2018 cut off. I'm glad they've changed it. It seemed very cruel to finally allow this type of ackowledgement only to have a cut off point.

I've been feeling a bit wierd since the announcement. I have only one. I have two children. The first baby only really exists in my memory.

I don't know if a piece of paper will make it worse or better really. I'll have to explain to my daughters one day.

I had seven losses and no children, but I am staying well clear of this process. Mine were all 15 - 20 years ago now, so I have had time to adjust and build a very good life, and just don’t want to reopen all the feelings of that time, which feels like another life to me. It is such a very personal thing, and I think if you want to, you should apply; but I hope nobody will judge anyone like me who chooses not to as somehow not caring enough. It really isn’t that even if it might look like it to someone making another choice.

It changed last week. Anyone can apply for a certificate now no matter how long ago the loss was. They announced it last week because it was baby loss awareness week.

Apply for all of them.

There's also this that I saw recently as they've put one in the local town hall.

https://www.pointsoflight.gov.uk/postbox-to-heaven/