To tell my friend that her husband is trying to cheat on her - with me?

Is there a reason you can't block him as a contact?

In this situation, I would block him, but would not tell the friend.

If friend ever discovered I had blocked him, and asked me directly why, I would tell her why.

You're in dangerous territory sending jovial responses.

Agree with this. Just keep it factual
Friend needs to know of his deceitfulness, as uncomfortable as it is for you. Take care

I can't believe the number of 'it's your fault, you should have shut him down completely' posts. It is always possible that this bloke is a) messaging many many other women and it's not just OP and b) OP doesn't want to blow up her friendship when if the man had even a shred of decency he would have apologised, stopped messaging and kept himself very very quiet from there on.

This is HIS fault, It's on HIM. It's not on women to have to absolutely, definitely, without any misunderstanding possible, shut men down when they go too far. Men should just NOT GO TOO FAR. In fact, they shouldn't even start.

You have to screenshot and send

I think that this is the best way to deal with it OP, unless there's any reason why he absolutely NEEDS your number, then there is no need for him to have it, and if he doesn't have it, he can't continue to pester you. If he can't contact you, then there is nothing to tell his wife about. So by doing this, there's a fair chance that you won't lose your friendship.

Bit harsh when there's always as many people on these threads telling the OP to say nothing.

It's so easy to blame the OP but I can imagine it's much harder when you're blindsided and I can imagine not wanting to cause a scene.

Surely we should stop blaming women for men's poor behaviour. If we did fewer of them would get away with it.

Op he is definitely not hinting. And I get you were trying to give him the brush off. You tried. Now it's time to send these to his wife.

Absolutely.

Jesus Christmas of course you should tell her that her husband is a vile, unfaithful pos. She is your friend isn't she...???

Get her told. This not wanting to cause an issue mindset is ridiculous. Her husband is a pig, and she deserves to know more than you feeling uncomfortable about telling her.

Maybe it's time to say look, I've tried to politely brush you off but you haven't taken the hint. I don't want you to text me these things. I've screenshot them all. Leave me alone or I'll show your wife.

This is absolutely not your fault, and it is a very difficult situation to have to deal with. I completely understand why you felt replying politely and hoping they got the hint nicely was the right way to manage it. He should have backed off at that point, but as not, I would block now..

I think this is a really difficult situation.

I'm very much of the mind that if I discovered a man I was dating was married I'd tell.

But when it's a friend's husband? Very difficult. Sadly, I've had this a few times 🙄

1. Was a long standing friendship of 10 years. We'd holidayed and Christmased together. Our children were friends. I told him to stop. It all went quiet for months and then he made a move on me. I've not seen either of them since.

I'm pretty confident he told her the friendship had suddenly ended because I'd made a pass at him but I knew she wouldn't have believed me if I'd said anything.

1. I told him not to be a dick. He apologised and never did it again. I didnt tell her. I probably should but she been cheated on in the past and trusted him. I didn't want to be the one responsible for shattering that. Yes, I was a coward.

1. I just ignored it. He tried again a couple of times. I ignored him again. He was very awkward around me socially when we next met up. I was friendly and smoothed the waters bit he hasn't tried it again and I would tell her if he did it again.

It's hard because, if it were me, I'd want to know but when you're single, risking losing your friends is too big a gamble. and, as the single woman, its always your fault 🙄

I agree, you should have nipped this in the bud at the very first point of contact. This reflects very badly on you.

Op morally the right thing to do is to be honest but you need to be prepared that she is likely to blame you and cut you off. I have never seen a single situation like this work out well.

I would message back and say you hope he is joking as it’s very inappropriate and block him. I personally wouldn’t say anything.

Why didn't you tell him to get lost & blick him after the first message?

If he's sent you loads of messages then you are complicit through your silence

Send him a firm message saying that you are not open to his suggestions and tell him if these suggestive texts don’t stop you will show them to your friend.

This, @ThisLoudBeaker.

I said this exact thing to my dad when I was 16.
Only it was pre-internet and the evidence was a note his secretary wrote him.

Put the pressure on the bad guy - not on yourself.

Ok, my apologies for misunderstanding

This 💯

You're between a rock and a hard place OP.
If you tell her and she splits from her dh she will always remember he came on to you.That will hurt her so much.
I'm not sure your friendship will survive.

I think I’d tell her, knowing our friendship is probably over either way, but she needs to be able to make an informed decision. You may not be the first woman he’s approached, so she may be aware that he’s done this once before and took him back; there may be other women that he’s approached this way so if it’s not you taking him up on his offers, then someone else may.

You’ll feel awful if she’s hurt by an affair with someone else down the line and you said nothing.

Sorry OP, but you are already lying to this woman and you really must tell her and extract yourself from this. Too many blurred lines.

‘Mate, stop sending me such weird messages - you’re going to make life awkward for everyone. If you need to talk to me about something get friend to ask me”

then ignore everything he sends, friendly or otherwise.

it’s up to you if you want to mention it. I suspect it’s probably not worth it - if you were truly close to her you would have already brought it up with her!

It’s great that you feel this isn’t a big deal, more power to you. But you really underestimate how difficult this sort of situation is for some people. As a few people have pointed out, women are often conditioned as people pleasers who don’t rock the boat. She may have been worried about offending him. Honestly, the social conditioning is that strong. It’s likely he targeted her as someone who is not assertive for exactly this reason. If you could have handled it better that’s great, but please try to have a little understanding of those who struggle to set such boundaries.

Are they still together?