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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my friend that her husband is trying to cheat on her - with me?

312 replies

ThisLoudBeaker · 14/10/2024 16:46

My friend’s husband has been DMing me inappropriate messages for weeks, and while I’ve brushed them off, I’m starting to think I should tell her. But I know this would blow up her family, and she’ll probably hate me more than him. AIBU to stay quiet and avoid the drama?

OP posts:
Didimum · 14/10/2024 16:54

CatamaranViper · 14/10/2024 16:54

You have to tell her.
Regardless you can't continue the friendship as it was.

This is true – friendship forever changed regardless.

CatamaranViper · 14/10/2024 16:54

You have to tell her.
Regardless you can't continue the friendship as it was.

Didimum · 14/10/2024 16:53

Tell him he has a week to tell her or you are sending the screenshots yourself.

MoonKiss · 14/10/2024 16:53

What did he say when you told him he was a horrible pervy cheating shit and that his wife deserved to know?

ShillyShallySherbet · 14/10/2024 16:50

Instead of brushing them off, tell him he’s being inappropriate and block him. I wouldn’t get involved at all by telling her unless she is a really close friend.

SoMauveMonty · 14/10/2024 16:50

Have you messaged him very firmly in response telling him to bugger off? 'Brushed off' suggests you might have done that been polite to avoid bad feeling thing, but not necessarily plainly said stop it. If you have and he's still persisting, tell her. You've then proof you've done nothing to encourage him.

MistyFrequencies · 14/10/2024 16:50

Ilovecakey · 14/10/2024 16:49

Screenshot and show her

This.

Ilovecakey · 14/10/2024 16:49

Screenshot and show her

Swissvisa · 14/10/2024 16:49

If she’s an acquaintance more than a friend, like a school mum for example, then I’d leave it. If it’s a proper friend then you should tell her, in person. If she finds out you didn’t tell her then the friendship is lost anyway

cuddlebear · 14/10/2024 16:48

I would tell her. You have the messages as evidence.

Tell her face to face though, not by message.

Wellingtonspie · 14/10/2024 16:47

Your better off telling because if it ever comes out and you didn’t tell you’ll loose the friendship anyway.

Halfscottish · 14/10/2024 16:47

I’d tell her.

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