Is my child in danger at school?

Softheart15 · 2024-10-13T21:42:33+00:00

Hi, a boy in my daughter’s year punched her friend in the throat and kicked another in her stomach, he recently struck again on another child but this time much worse, kid ended up in hospital again unprovoked! Turns out he’s got anger issues and does MMA so lashes out randomly and whoever is there gets it! School are brushing his behaviour under the carpet but I’m worried and have raised this with the head only to be dismissed as have other parents.He was suspended for two day so we’re all waiting for him to strike again but he gets worse with each attack. I spoke to some of the parents and turns out he’s been doing it inside/outside of school for years! His parents are total Aholes and don’t care and his mum even told another mother to talk to her and not the school but I don’t want it to be my child next. Am I making a big deal for nothing?

FranceIsWhereItsAt · 05/02/2025 23:47

I would tell the Head that unless he gives you the letter that you need to move your children, you will go to the press. That should do the trick!

Original poster

Softheart15 · 05/02/2025 13:33

@FranceIsWhereItsAt he doesn’t think thugs behaviour is that bad. I’ve also noted how the school treat children differently who parents complained (others noticed this to) hence not asking for a letter. Absolutely disgusted with the school and the sooner my children are out the better! Really wish media would pick up on this and shame the school but for now I feel helpless!

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FranceIsWhereItsAt · 05/02/2025 10:58

Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 20:34

@FranceIsWhereItsAt I’ve already spoken to the head and he doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem! Not a great example set for the children, despite us living in the social media age this proves money talks!

Not quite sure what you mean by this OP, do you mean you've already spoken to the Head about getting the letter you need, and he doesn't have a problem with doing it, or are you still talking about the Head not seeing this boy's behaviour as a problem?

BlackToes · 04/02/2025 21:29

Bloody awful. What about reporting his behaviour to the MMA school (anonymously or as a group?) so they can clarify behaviour expectations with him. The school needs to know he is a real danger and they are aiding his assaults.

Original poster

Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 20:34

@FranceIsWhereItsAt I’ve already spoken to the head and he doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem! Not a great example set for the children, despite us living in the social media age this proves money talks!

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FranceIsWhereItsAt · 04/02/2025 18:05

In that case OP, I would go to the school and talk to the Head, tell them that as you don't feel happy that sufficient action has been taken to keep children safe from this child, you wish to remove your children, but it seems the only way you can do this is if they write the necessary letter. I would imagine they'd be only too happy to oblige, in order to get you (the trouble maker as far as they're concerned) out of their hair.

Original poster

Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 18:00

@madaboutpurple we did discuss that but after the police and ofstead backed down don’t see much hope, just a backlash!

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Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 17:58

@Trumptonagain the school and the police! I couldn’t believe my eyes when reading the emails…I don’t understand why they keep protecting the thug!

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Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 17:56

@FranceIsWhereItsAt we’re on a number of school waiting lists and have done lots of entry exams for other schools, so waiting on results. In reality I’ve been told children prepare a couple of years in advance for these exams which we haven’t. Catchment schools are full, I explained to the council the situation and to see if they can expedite us but they need a letter from the school confirming the situation…

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FranceIsWhereItsAt · 04/02/2025 13:08

OP, have you removed your children from this school yet? If not, why not? It's all very well doing your utmost to protect ALL of the children, and I note that you said moving your children was proving to be more difficult than you had thought, but that was back in October, has anything changed?

Trumptonagain · 04/02/2025 12:01

This is awful.

Maybe they're of the thinking that while they're still receiving yearly/term time payments from the very same parents that are complaining their DC are being bullied it's not that much of a cause for concern.
Clearly duty of care doesn't come into it.

madaboutpurple · 04/02/2025 11:06

You could always threaten to let the local television news know the details as well as local press if they do not take action. Being private they would not want any bad publicity.

Original poster

Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 10:58

@Cheeseburger85 local mp is known to this group and parents seem reluctant to come forward now especially whilst their children are in the school. It’s such a shame as everyone’s equally disappointed and despite the mounting evidence this thug is fully protected!

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Cheeseburger85 · 04/02/2025 10:38

Write to your local authority, MP and even the education secretary. This isn't okay and as we have seen recently, kids seem to be out of control in schools nowadays.

Blessings to you and the family.

Original poster

Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 10:36

@Mumofoneandone they had been contacted, the ones on the ground were keen to take action for some unknown reason it’s been squashed at a decision level! One parent suggested to keep emailing so it’s on the server, not that the school are fazed!

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Mumofoneandone · 04/02/2025 10:29

Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 10:24

Recent events of children hurting children all over the media I wanted to give you another update on this situation. A group of parents met up to discuss how best to go forward including that of the child attacked and the mother showed us emails to the school and police detailing everything and demanding action. Both institutes are sticking together and think two days suspension is sufficient and there is nothing further for them to do! A parent who was there is a social worker and confirmed that they are unable to take forward if the school and police refuse to report it! Other people warned that this private school alumni network is strong and powerful and will do anything to protect their reputation so best not to mess!
The bully is the same, this time bit more clever about making threats, not so openly and has warned other kids to not play with the kids he doesn’t like or they’ll end up hurt to! Kids are terrified of him, plus he’s a foot taller and stronger than all of them! The smug look on his parents faces is actually sickening and all we can do is hope they mess with the wrong person one day!

Edited

Ofsted (private school equivalent anyway) and safeguarding report seems to be next option.
This is truly shocking, but sadly not unusual in some private schools.

Original poster

Softheart15 · 04/02/2025 10:24

Recent events of children hurting children all over the media I wanted to give you another update on this situation. A group of parents met up to discuss how best to go forward including that of the child attacked and the mother showed us emails to the school and police detailing everything and demanding action. Both institutes are sticking together and think two days suspension is sufficient and there is nothing further for them to do! A parent who was there is a social worker and confirmed that they are unable to take forward if the school and police refuse to report it! Other people warned that this private school alumni network is strong and powerful and will do anything to protect their reputation so best not to mess!
The bully is the same, this time bit more clever about making threats, not so openly and has warned other kids to not play with the kids he doesn’t like or they’ll end up hurt to! Kids are terrified of him, plus he’s a foot taller and stronger than all of them! The smug look on his parents faces is actually sickening and all we can do is hope they mess with the wrong person one day!

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Softheart15 · 23/10/2024 19:53

@Mumofoneandone thats what I did!

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Mumofoneandone · 23/10/2024 19:38

Softheart15 · 23/10/2024 19:28

@Inyournewdress the school actually don’t thinks a big deal and have moved on, like it was yesterdays news. They didn’t respond to anyone in writing, too busy covering themselves.

Well you can respond to the meeting in writing...via email!!

Original poster

Softheart15 · 23/10/2024 19:28

@Inyournewdress the school actually don’t thinks a big deal and have moved on, like it was yesterdays news. They didn’t respond to anyone in writing, too busy covering themselves.

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Softheart15 · 23/10/2024 19:26

@EstHall I'm sorry you had to go through this and really hope to read your story in the national newspaper, naming and shaming the culprits!

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FranceIsWhereItsAt · 23/10/2024 16:49

An absolute disgrace OP! Please don't let the passage of time distract you from removing your children from this dreadful school, as it's all too easy with this sort of situation to allow that to happen, and then suddenly this kid will have another outburst and attack someone else, and it just might be one of yours that he picks next.

Original poster

Softheart15 · 23/10/2024 14:42

Thank you everyone, bit of an update I met with senior leadership who said they’re aware of the incident and it’s now all sorted. They lied to my face about the latest incident and that it’s all now brushed under the carpet and the thug is being ‘supported’ as the two day suspension has turned him a new character…I spoke to the latest victims mother and she told me something totally different and is visibly unhappy.
Moving schools isn’t as easy as we thought, we’ve put both children’s names on waiting lists and are viewing other schools.
Im so angry as my kids love the school but private schools are a law to themselves and don’t care about children’s safety, just themselves!!! Apparently if I name they’ll sue the pants of me!

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EstHall · 18/10/2024 07:03

Thanks @RampantIvy. I have an article ready for the papers, but just giving my son a chance to fully recover before we publish. I have repeatedly asked the school's governors to meet so I can give feedback and an idea of what it was like to be on the receiving end of the head's abuse because we tried to complain. They haven't taken me up on it so to the papers we we go

Inyournewdress · 17/10/2024 13:55

We had an incident near us where a punch meant as a single punch in a bar fight caused sudden death. A kick to the stomach could cause all kinds of issues including damage to internal organs, even sepsis. This attacker is a risk to life and limb, there is no doubt at all about that. He will probably escalate too.

I would be withdrawing in the way I mentioned upthread and I would write to the head outlining the concerns and asking them to confirm in writing that they consider they are doing everything reasonably possible and legally required to provide a safe learning environment. Can they confirm in writing how allowing the attacker to remain in school is compatible with that? If they cannot confirm that, can they outline what in their opinion the options and rights of parents are during this failure of their duty of care? State that you will be taking your own legal advice and a written statement of their position will be needed.