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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was she being unreasonable

58 replies

itsacabsauv · 13/10/2024 21:23

I was out last night. I'm
50. My daughter is 20. My daughter and I were chatting. A man my age came up
To us who I know remotely . He put his arms around us and said how are ye doing tonight . My daughter froze and stared him dead in the face and said.. take Your hands off me Right now.
I was taken aback. He meant no harm but again my
Daughter didn't know him. My friends were shocked at her response . Was she being unreasonable, in your opinion ?

OP posts:
Original poster
itsacabsauv · 13/10/2024 21:39

I was shocked , surprised but very very proud .
A new generation will hopefully sort this .

OP posts:
comedycentral · 13/10/2024 21:38

Well done to her.
What happened next, you said your friends were shocked, how did you react?

DowntonCrabby · 13/10/2024 21:37

Good on her. Your friends are clearly as conditioned as you are to accept shit like this. I’m interested in the discussion after, I hope she has not been made to feel unreasonable from you/your friends.

Bellatrixpure · 13/10/2024 21:35

daughter is not at all unreasonable.

Your friends and man friend definitely are though

HaveSomeIntrospect · 13/10/2024 21:34

I hope my daughters do exactly the same if the situation ever arises, well done her 👏👏👏👏

Berga · 13/10/2024 21:34

You and your friends are unreasonable. Your DD is lucky to have learnt to stand up for herself when it comes to entitled men, a lesson she must have got elsewhere.

Candaceowens · 13/10/2024 21:33

Good on her, I wouldn't want a random man's arm around me either and he'd be lucky not to get a sharp shove.

bitsalty · 13/10/2024 21:31

ahemfem · 13/10/2024 21:27

Absolutely not unreasonable. Your friends are shocked as they've been socially conditioned to be all nicey nice and allow random men to touch them. You should be proud of your daughter and everyone should learn from her example.

This! It's great that women are learning they don't have to put up with this shit. He may have meant no harm but it's not ok to touch people without their consent.

Gimmeabreak2025 · 13/10/2024 21:31

Good for her. So sick of how we’ve normalised men doing this and not telling them to fuck off for fear of seeming rude.

CatamaranViper · 13/10/2024 21:31

How would you feel if a complete stranger 30 years your senior walked over and grabbed you?

HoppityBun · 13/10/2024 21:30

Good for her!

RowdyTiel · 13/10/2024 21:30

Well done her!

DurhamDurham · 13/10/2024 21:29

You should be proud of her.

HerefordHeifer · 13/10/2024 21:29

Good for her

healthybychristmas · 13/10/2024 21:29

You are unreasonable to think she did anything wrong. What a creep he is.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 13/10/2024 21:29

I applaud your daughter!
She has the right not to be touched without her permission, and she clearly stated this boundary to the complete stranger who got in her personal space and put his arms around her without asking and getting the okay.

She was not rude in any way, she was advocating for herself, and as her mother i'm shocked that you think she wasn't 100% in the right.
YOU know him, think he's harmless and were okay with him making physical contact with you, but you don't get to make that decision for your daughter, and your friends are being ridiculous.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 13/10/2024 21:29

Well done her.

Procrastinates · 13/10/2024 21:29

I can't believe anyone would think she was being unreasonable. Her reaction was perfectly normal!

Member984815 · 13/10/2024 21:29

Good for her , you raised a strong woman

Gazelda · 13/10/2024 21:28

She wasn't unreasonable.

He was.

Lifeisarealchallenge · 13/10/2024 21:28

No she wasn't being unreasonable.
Having a total stranger coming up to her and putting his arm around her is not acceptable behaviour.
If you only know him " remotely" I'm surprised you were OK with him putting his arm round you.
.
And how do you know he " meant no harm" ?

MakingPlans2025 · 13/10/2024 21:28

Good for her. You and your friends (and the man of course but I suspect this will never happen) have some catching up to do on the way things are now. Young women are much less willing to put up with this sort of bullshit.
How did the man respond. (I probably don't want to know but I am curious).

MumChp · 13/10/2024 21:28

He shouldn't have touched her!

takealettermsjones · 13/10/2024 21:28

She's my hero 😍

Woahtherehoney · 13/10/2024 21:27

You’re unreasonable for thinking it’s ok that a strange man can touch your daughter without her consent and then be annoyed at her!

You and your friends clearly think his embarrassment was more important than your daughters consent

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