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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How old are you and what time do you go to bed?

459 replies

defoneedanamechange · 13/10/2024 20:30

For context: I'm 36, mum of three (youngest is 2.5), work four days a week.

Im also someone who needs a lot of sleep.

So... introductions over. I'm in bed for 8/8.30 and asleep 8.30-9 every night. I then get up at 5.30/6 with my toddler.

Aibu to ask your age and when you go to sleep?

OP posts:
Warmroomed · 16/11/2024 09:47

Now it's wintery, bed at 10pm and up 8am

I need more sleep in winter!

GLC789 · 15/11/2024 21:10
  1. One child (7months)

Same as you. Bed by 9. Dead by half 9. Up with the sound of a barn Yard from my baby by 6.

Sometimes bonus wake up times in the night for anything from a cuddle, feeding or just because she's decided she wants to play.

SpunkyKoala · 12/11/2024 19:45

45 - bed at nine asleep by ten up at 530

Oatsamazing · 12/11/2024 19:25

@missmarymack2 I get showered and ready for work, then do a bit of work, then make sure our bags are ready for work/preschool, fold washing, empty dishwasher, that kind of stuff. It's like having the house to myself which I don't get anymore.

Delatron · 30/10/2024 15:05

MouseofCommons · 30/10/2024 14:39

Babies don't actually do anything though. And they'll get a nap in the day.

My elderly mum goes to bed later than me but she has a quiet afternoon and a power nap.

Babies need loads more sleep though. As do young children.

I don’t think 7-8pm is a usual bedtime for many adults. I used to get home from work at 7.30pm.

If you’re a radio presenter who is on air at 5am then I can understand an 8pm bedtime and no evening. Or any other job/lifestyle that gets you up at 4am..

MouseofCommons · 30/10/2024 14:39

Babies don't actually do anything though. And they'll get a nap in the day.

My elderly mum goes to bed later than me but she has a quiet afternoon and a power nap.

Missmarymack2 · 30/10/2024 14:38

Oatsamazing · 13/10/2024 20:34

Get up at 4.45am so I can get ready and do a few things before my 4yo gets up between 5.30-6am

What kind of things do you get up to do at that hour just out of interest.

Delatron · 30/10/2024 14:26

I just can’t imagine going to bed at 7pm. Babies go to bed later!

Delatron · 30/10/2024 14:25

Alina3 · 15/10/2024 09:03

I'm someone that goes to be between 7-9pm, asleep usually for 8-9pm.

What sort of stuff do you mean when you say how do early bedtimers get everything done in the evenings?

I suspect many of us get a lot done in the early morning or throughout the day. Lucky to have quite a flexible job WFH most days so can do bits and bobs on my breaks, but not sure what else would need to be done of an evening. I get up early to make packed lunches, do a big tidy up on a weekend, put a timed wash on to put out before bedtime etc.

I used to be a real night owl, loved staying up past midnight listening to music, playing piano (with headphones!), chatting to friends etc. but with a preschooler it just isn't fair on them for me to be exhausted in a morning dragging myself out of bed and not being my best self for them, so I go to bed early. It feels great waking up naturally at 6am every day having bundles of energy.

Edited

8-6am is 10 hours sleep though.

There is research showing optimal amounts of sleep - too little is not great but too much sleep is also detrimental. It’s individual but for most people it will be between 7-8 hours.

So those going to bed at 8am should be getting up at 4am. Which is fine if you have stuff to do at 4am.

Like many others, I can’t imagine having no evening. I would not be able to fit everything in. We get back from some sports clubs at 8.30pm. My kids are teenagers and they are in bed around 9.30-10.

Anyway back to the question. I‘ve never been a good sleeper. I’d actually love to be in bed and asleep at 10 but it would never happen and I’d be awake at about 3 if I did. I go up at about 10. It takes me about an hour or so to get to sleep so 11ish/11.30. Then I wake constantly. The joy of peri. Up about 7.30. I get my best sleep from about 5-7.30.

AutumnOcean · 30/10/2024 14:10

34, 2 kids, work almost full time hours. I get into bed at 8pm but don't fall asleep until 12 most nights. Up at 7am. Always tired 🤣

TheComptonEffect · 30/10/2024 14:01
  1. 2 primary school kids. Work full time and masters work in evening. Bed 12/12.30, get up at 6.30. Never needed much sleep, fight going to bed. Husband goes to bed 9.30/10 works early, gets up no later than 6am when working, 6 days a week
jolota · 30/10/2024 13:56

33 with 1 toddler & pregnant. 9pm now but up to 10pm prior to pregnancy. I stay up later on the weekends when visiting friends/family but always feel it afterwards!

Fontainebleau007 · 30/10/2024 13:55
  1. 2 primary school age children. I go to bed between 11:30/12:30 and up at 8.
Gothamcity · 30/10/2024 13:49

Acornacorn · 13/10/2024 20:34

40, two young kids. Work 4 days per week. Typically go to bed 11-1am and up by 7am at the latest. Often woken in the night by a child.
I should go to bed sooner but once they’re finally asleep it’s time for me to have me time!

I feel exactly the same. I know I need more sleep, but equally I just can't shut off and need that time to just hang out downstairs with my husband before I can go to bed, otherwise my while day is kids, work, kids, housework, prepping dinner.... With no downtime at all. I feel I'd be more refreshed going to bed earlier, but I'd also be more resentful and fed up with life than I already am 😄 those few childfree hours on an evening are what I live for right now. Also have a bed creeper child who gets in with us anytime from 3am, so God know how much/little sleep I'm surviving on?!

Hellskitchen24 · 30/10/2024 13:45

In my mid 30s. On a work night I’ll be in bed by 9pm, probably read or scroll mindlessly for a hour, sleep by 10pm, up at 05:45.

Non work night I’ll often still go to bed at 9pm, sleep at 10-11pm, awake whenever I get up. Usually between 8-10am. No kids but pregnant with my first so clearly the lie ins will change when baby arrives next year.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 30/10/2024 13:26

44, 2 primary aged children.

Usually go to sleep around midnight and woken at 6.30

it’s not enough but I resent not having child free time in the evening with DH so we stay up late. I don’t need to get up until 7.45 but DC5 hasn’t got that memo yet!

Autumnal589 · 30/10/2024 13:23

39 and I go to bed at 9PM. Usually on my phone for another hour or so which I know is not ideal but I like to be resting at least.

ginandlemonade23 · 30/10/2024 13:18

33 and between 11pm to midnight

cozycat1 · 30/10/2024 06:42

Early 50s. Depends what I've been doing,but generally no later than 11.30
I like some time to myslef at night.have older kids and feel like I need to wait till they are in bed till.I cam totally relax and chill on sofa surfing or watching whatever i want on tv etc. Also work full time.so any kind of gym leisure stuff has. To be done in the evening eg I do a yoga class from 8.30pm to.9.30pm.so not physically back in house till.arounf 9.50

Musiclover234 · 30/10/2024 06:02

ItTook9Years · 16/10/2024 07:34

Biphasic sleep is very common, particularly in post-menopausal women. Theory is our older female ancestors would have taken over watching babies at night so that the younger mums could sleep.

My dad has two sleep cycles overnight, goes to bed late midnight or something wakes about 3/4 hours later. Has a brew watches tv and then goes back to bed for another stint. Has been years of this, 73 and retired.

Will tell him he is obviously a post menopausal lady! 😂

I suffer with bouts of insomnia and work shifts so i like a routine. I’m in bed by about 10:30 and if i had a good nights sleep asleep by 11 and maybe wake at 6:30 naturally but often before. If i stay up past 11 it takes an age to fall asleep. If i went to sleep at 7/8 i’d be awake by 2 am but also i’m still in work!

defoneedanamechange · 29/10/2024 19:17

The darker evenings make me tired earlier so... 7pm and yep, I'm 36 and I'm in bed! The family are fed, the toddler's asleep, the older kids can occupy themselves. My time now - bed!

OP posts:
Movinghouseatlast · 20/10/2024 15:37

God, I'm lazy. I go to bed at 11pm. I get up at 10 am usually, though I wake up at 8.30 and read.

I've always been like this, even as a child. I've always hated getting up early, just the thought of it makes me feel ill. I chose to work part time all my life because I just couldn't do early mornings.

I'm 58 and crucially for my lifestyle I have no children.

MangoRose · 16/10/2024 14:17

Samphire44 · 16/10/2024 06:02

I suspect most of the early sleepers do have young children. I work part time, then pick up children from school, I eat with them, they go to be at 7pm and I have 2 hours to relax before going to bed at 9.30am. Duee to peri menopause I wake between 4.30 and 5 30am and my youngest is always up before 6am.

I guess we are just a family of night owls. Even when the kids were little I never went to bed before 11pm. DH would have been home 6pm, kids in bed7/730 so a few hours to do admin stuff, chill or a hobby after that. From about 5/6 the kids had various clubs which wouldn't have finished till between 7 and 830 so I guess our routine was later from then on also.

I would like a bit more sleep really but I don't want to sacrifice my evening time lol.

PrueRamsay · 16/10/2024 10:40

Average bedtime 9.30 and up between 5.30 and 6.

I am 59 but I have always been a lark. I really love the early mornings.

Member984815 · 16/10/2024 10:36

Samphire44 · 16/10/2024 06:02

I suspect most of the early sleepers do have young children. I work part time, then pick up children from school, I eat with them, they go to be at 7pm and I have 2 hours to relax before going to bed at 9.30am. Duee to peri menopause I wake between 4.30 and 5 30am and my youngest is always up before 6am.

Mine are teens , I have hypothyroid so I don't know if that plays into my early nights , I occasionally suffer with insomnia since childhood so I value sleep so much. I'd put it up there at the top of my list of vital needs 😂. I have a friend who regularly can stay up to 1 , it's fascinating to me because I just would be a zombie the next day.

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