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AIBU?

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Original poster

16 month old on nursing strike

36 replies

strikeordone · 13/10/2024 18:35

Please any advice as I am feeling increasingly upset about this. My 16 month old has HFM and a throat infection. He's refused to breastfeed for 2 days despite being a round the clock feeder before hand.

Is this the end of our journey? I've been pumping and will continue to do so. He is taking his milk with a syringe and I'm worried he's getting too used to this and won't bf again.

He literally won't go near a breast, pushes it away. He's clearly in a lot of pain with his mouth.

All the threads I've read have said this means the end.

I tried a bath and skin to skin, no luck - any other advice?

OP posts:
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SonicBoomInTheRoom · 20/10/2024 12:04

Spidey66 · 13/10/2024 18:48

Sorry OP but when i saw the thread title I had an image of a baby on a picket line outside the hospital!

I wondered that too lol

Original poster
strikeordone · 20/10/2024 11:52

Just to update this thread incase it helps anyone else as I found such limited info around nursing strikes at this age.

After a solid week of no feeding, DS woke the other night asking for milk, then did the same last night, and today he fed to sleep for his nap. So definitely a nursing strike and not self weaning! Luckily I kept pumping the whole time to keep my supply.

Part of me thinks I should have taken the opportunity to just wean him, but heart ruled over head on this. We will worry about weaning when he's a little older and I feel a bit more ready!

OP posts:
Original poster
strikeordone · 15/10/2024 18:00

Thanks everyone for the great advice!

He's still refusing a boob but back on food and his sippy cups now so I think we may be done. I can't quite believe it!

OP posts:
dannyufcfan · 13/10/2024 20:52

I see you've got yourself a union man.

BarbaraHoward · 13/10/2024 20:52

I would assume this is it at this age, yes, but you won't know for sure until he's less sore. Keep pumping if it's important to you to keep going and you never know.

My eldest had a nursing strike at about 10 months and never fed again. Literally stopped mid feed and never went back. Wouldn't take a bottle either, or drink milk from a cup. At least at 16 months he'll be fine either way!

Dariamar · 13/10/2024 20:49

My youngest did this when she had an ear infection around 17m. She lasted nearly 4 days...I kept offering and she had sippy cups of BM during that time but she did go back to bf and then bf till she was nearly 3.

Dramatic · 13/10/2024 20:48

strikeordone · 13/10/2024 19:04

Thank you @nopenotplaying

It's so hard sometimes because I just get comments like 'well he's not a baby any more' it doesn't really matter if he's technically a baby or not does it 🥺

I mean it does matter because a tiny baby needs it to survive, a toddler doesn't need it so it's not so much of a concern. 16 months is probably a perfect time really.

Mwnci123 · 13/10/2024 20:46

I could never get my youngest back on the boob after she stopped abruptly with an illness. I kept trying, expressed for a bit, and then it petered out. She was a little bit younger than yours. Sorry OP.

Halfscottish · 13/10/2024 20:44

Ignore the ‘just stop you he’s not a baby’ unhelpful posters.. WHO Recommends feeding until 2 - it’s good for both of you if you are happy to keep feeding.

hopefully he’s just off it for a few days due to pain, keep pumping and keep trying! Time will tell and the pumped milk will help him get better quicker! You’re a great mum.

Mcginty57 · 13/10/2024 20:43

My 16 month old self weaned like this too, just woke up one morning and would push away from me when I attempted to feed her and turn her head away but took a bottle. I was fine with stopping so didnt try persevere. His likely is more to do with being ill and having a sore mouth though and if you want to continue and he does, I'm sure hel resume when he feels better.

Newsenmum · 13/10/2024 20:43

But op if he doesn’t want it, he doesn’t want it. If he’s struggling to sleep and he wants it then he will go back to it. Or something else will work. Please don’t panic.

Icanttakethisanymore · 13/10/2024 20:40

I had HFM when my eldest had it and it killed my appetite (which is also a known symptom). Keep trying if you want to continue BFing him, I’m sure it won’t last long

freakinthespreadsheets · 13/10/2024 20:37

Spidey66 · 13/10/2024 18:48

Sorry OP but when i saw the thread title I had an image of a baby on a picket line outside the hospital!

Glad I'm not the only one! Impressive baby to have qualified so young 🤣

Sheeparemyfriends · 13/10/2024 20:22

It is a sad moment, but as long as he is taking milk in a cup and eating well I reckon he'll be fine. Mine weren't getting much milk from me at this stage, it was mostly comfort.

Bunnybear42 · 13/10/2024 19:47

I disagree . I suspect the pain in his mouth and the swollen throat makes breastfeeding very painful ! Keep pumping and feeding via syringe I suspect in a few days he will be looking to resume if that's what you want. I don't think nursing strike is the same when they are ill personally. Be guided by how he feeds when feeling better. In the meantime syringing breast milk is doing him good with antibodies and also getting fluids down. Hope he's on the mend soon, such a worry when then are poorly .

Nosleepforthismum · 13/10/2024 19:28

It happens to bottle fed babies too. My 17 month old also had HF&M recently and has refused the bottle ever since. All she wanted was freezing cold cows milk from the fridge in a sippy cup and refuses anything else now. It also makes me sad as it feels like she’s no longer my little baby!

IMBCRound2 · 13/10/2024 19:15

strikeordone · 13/10/2024 18:35

Please any advice as I am feeling increasingly upset about this. My 16 month old has HFM and a throat infection. He's refused to breastfeed for 2 days despite being a round the clock feeder before hand.

Is this the end of our journey? I've been pumping and will continue to do so. He is taking his milk with a syringe and I'm worried he's getting too used to this and won't bf again.

He literally won't go near a breast, pushes it away. He's clearly in a lot of pain with his mouth.

All the threads I've read have said this means the end.

I tried a bath and skin to skin, no luck - any other advice?

48 hours isn’t too long! I’d keep pumping to keep your supply up and offering …

My little one didn’t wean until she was about 3yrs2months and there were periods in there where she’d go a week and then come back to it (even if I’d stopped actively offering when I got pregnant )

Lincoln24 · 13/10/2024 19:08

Sorry this isn't what you want to hear but mine did stop entirely at 15 months in similar circumstances, after a brief vomiting illness. I tried for about 2 weeks but she turned her head away every single time! She was eating 3 square meals and loved her food so I think that was a factor, but it really can be that abrupt sorry.

Original poster
strikeordone · 13/10/2024 19:04

Thank you @nopenotplaying

It's so hard sometimes because I just get comments like 'well he's not a baby any more' it doesn't really matter if he's technically a baby or not does it 🥺

OP posts:
nopenotplaying · 13/10/2024 18:57

I fed all of mine until 2+ years they stopped at different points. However I would say it dwindled, I didn't offer/they didn't ask type weaning. I feel what you are describing is stemming from the pain in his mouth. I think if he's still that uncomfortable tomorrow then try calling your gp, as someone said above it could be thrush. Try not to get upset by the 'he eats meat and two veg' gang. He's still very much a baby. WHO don't advise weaning pre 2 years xxx hope he's feeling better soon xxx

Original poster
strikeordone · 13/10/2024 18:55

@Pandasnacks still waking and inconsolable most of the night!

OP posts:
Bellatrixpure · 13/10/2024 18:53

Hello, no advice on how to help with the issue but do try posting on the breastfeeding groups. There are some very knowledgeable people on there. Look at breastfeeding older babies and beyond and breast buddies Teesside breastfeeding support.

Pandasnacks · 13/10/2024 18:52

Is he not sleeping through but also not drinking? Dropping the milk in the night is great if he sleeps more, but obviously just really stressful if he still wakes as much

dreamer24 · 13/10/2024 18:52

HansHolbein · 13/10/2024 18:49

This is how my youngest child stopped, sorry. She wasn’t ill but she just kept pushing away and became more and more disinterested.

Same with mine, at only 7 months after weaning her. I was devastated but she voted with her feet, nothing I could do 😕

Original poster
strikeordone · 13/10/2024 18:51

@Pandasnacks yes loads of food and snacks etc, he used to have milk morning and before nap and before bed and a lot in the night still

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