To think I did NOT give them a “present” of horrible wine!

.

Spot on. And @Rainbowstripes illustrates this perfectly in her post further up:
"This could literally be my Dad. One day I'd had enough and politely but firmly put my foot down about him using humour as a way to belittle me constantly and he flipped and told me I was dead to him. If it feels intentional and bad natured it probably is no matter how much he says it's a 'joke'." How narcissistic does a parent have to be to react this way to being called out for their bad behaviour?
As you say, the rest of humanity wouldn't miss them.

If it wasn't for the fact that my uncle never had children, I'd be wondering if we were cousins - my uncle never knows when to let things go and would have been banging on about it the whole time as well. He'd be bringing it up years down the line expecting a big laugh (he likes to get a reaction).

Op, I totally get it. I too would’ve done the same. However, Mumsnet seems to have decided to ignore everything you’ve written in your original post, and choose to be offended that you brought your parents a present that you knew they wouldn’t like! When it was never a present anyway 🤷‍♀️😂

It’s one of the nastiest ways a narcissist or other bully tries to hurt people- they jab you again and again until you react and then they play the victim card, by sulking and accuse you of being unable to take a joke.

Yet such people are utterly incapable of laughing at themselves in a genuinely funny or self effacing situation because their fragile infantile egos have to be massaged constantly by wounding others or they feel they aren’t ‘winning’.

They are a blight on humanity.

Ok fair enough however I mentioned it as if you knew if was a sweet wine to be drunk from a tiny glass you may not have given it to them in the first place.

Of course, now he’s sulking. He was only saying; why can’t I take a joke? And my mum is saying why am I letting it get to me, I know what he’s like etc… basically making it all about my reaction instead of him being an arse all weekend.

You might enjoy (not quite the right word really!) the Stately Homes thread OP

@VTown and @AgileGreenSeal get it. It is abusive. My brother can be the same as my father. And it is horrendous. It has done untold damage over the years, as it turns into a form of gaslighting where you question of you are just humourless, when you have been ground down by years and years of bullying and belittling dressed up as 'just a joke'. I

Your father sounds exactly like my husband.
You can manage a half smirk, wry smile the first time, perhaps even the second, but by ‘joke’ number three you’ve had it!!

Confession: I gave my mum a candle I bought as a mystery scent, that I didn't like, as part of a gift. Hopefully she won't burn it when I go round.

Right? The lack of reading comprehension here is astounding.

Yes! It's a form of abuse.

Where I come from this is known as a joke with a jag.
in other words a device used by a bully or other abusive person to have a dig at someone while saying “but it was just a joke” when the person being got at finally snaps.
It’s rotten.

I’m starting to wonder what schools are teaching to have turned out so many allegedly functional adults who can’t comprehend simple sentences.

OP, your dad was being an arse.

This (your dad's behavior) is passive-aggressive bs and a typical male power grab. Lemme guess He's one of those "old-fashioned" males who thinks (even if he doesn't specifically express it) that women are basically at his beck and call, there to cater to his needs and ego. Continuously harping on something and then saying he's "just joking" is textbook gaslighting behavior, designed to make you feel off-kilter, that your feelings are invalid, and like you've done something wrong. And the sulking! Oy vey. It's a way that males hold power over women and force you/us to tip-toe around their precious feelings. He needs to get over himself. Maybe get some therapy to work through his deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and/or his need to feel superior to others. Sooooo easy for him to do this to his daughter (and probably wife), but I'm guessing not so much with his male peers. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I'm so sick of men's egos and their need for women to cater to them while they simultaneously act like we're "less than."

Oh, and regarding the wine, who gives af? You thought they might like it, expressed that to your parents, and, as you said, never offered it as a "gift" or whatever. Nothing wrong with thinking it might be to someone else's taste.

How is a brand-new unopened botte of not inexpensive wine "waste"? And why, when OP has made very clear the circumstances in which she brought the wine to her parents' home (for them to try on the off-chance they did like it) and that it was not a present, do you persist in saying it was?
Why is it some people on MN insist on rewriting an OP's narrative, based on no evidence whatsoever? Is it just to be mean?

It really isn't hard to grasp.

I gave a book to a work friend that I hadn’t liked but she reads from that genre and thought she could give it a go before I got rid of it.

It isn’t a gift gift, and she fully understood the sentiment. It isn’t that hard to grasp.

You pissed him off, and he took it too far. Sounds like shit dynamics in the family. We have them, too. It's like a minefield.

I'm surprised how many people wouldn't offer unused or lightly used things they don't like to family and friends before just throwing them away. It seems such a waste. I wonder if it's an age thing? As in the older ones among us were raised not to waste things. My parents will offer me things they've tried and haven't liked (books most often!) and I the same with them. It wouldn't occur to me to think of it as rude.

We also share things we like, of course, but this is entirely separate.

It was not a present.

How hard is that phrase to grasp?

Considering myself exceptionally lucky I have such laid back parents! I have returned items to my mum that she had gifted me because I hadn't used them for years and AFAIK she was fine with it. They were to a piece lovely things, but just not getting any use and our flat is too small to hold onto anything that doesn't get used. Alternative was charity shop so 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP, your dad sounds extremely tedious and a big baby for sulking when rightly put in his place. Don't bring them anything next time.

Op herself told her parents she didn't like it but had an extra bottle, when she knew they were into wines. Op was thoughtless, now father is taking the mickey.

It's a bad form to give something you dislike as a present. You say it's not a present but you know they are into wine and you give them something you didn't like because it would be gathering dust in your house.

He is now having a little fun with it. Hope you learnt a lesson from this next time don't give your waste to others.