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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed about Christmas?

34 replies

user2312 · 13/10/2024 15:31

I'm Spending Christmas with family 2 hours away this year. My partner has a child. He said he wanted to spend Christmas with me this year, Christmas Eve until Boxing Day and then would drive home and have his child for a couple of days. He's now said he doesn't think he can do that and would want to have his child Christmas night evening which I understand 100%, was always his idea not mine. But I'm annoyed now because I probably won't see him at all, AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
RevelryMum · 13/10/2024 15:53

His child has to and will always come first if you can't cope with that move on

user2312 · 13/10/2024 15:52

My issue isn't spending time with his child at Christmas. If anyone would have an issue with that then it would say alot about them!

OP posts:
user2312 · 13/10/2024 15:51

He wouldn't not be seeing his kid would he? He'd be having his child Boxing Day as plenty of parents do who aren't with the child's mother.

OP posts:
Autumnalfun · 13/10/2024 15:48

I’d view it as at least he’s seen sense, I mean who would do this, not see their own kid. Honestly I’d dump someone if they planned that, I’m shocked you were excited.

user2312 · 13/10/2024 15:46

Whothefuckdoesthat · 13/10/2024 15:44

No, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. You aren’t annoyed because he’s seeing his child; you’re annoyed because he got your hopes up and now you aren’t having the lovely Christmas you thought you’d be having, even if you understand why. And, actually, are you even annoyed? Or just really disappointed?

Edited

You've hit the nail on the head, I'm disappointed because I was excited and had planned this Christmas in my head!
I've not got kids but I've always understood his child comes first etc and always thought of the child as much as him. I feel there's no appreciation for that or how I feel now. I just get told it's ages till Christmas we'll sort something out.

OP posts:
Whothefuckdoesthat · 13/10/2024 15:44

No, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. You aren’t annoyed because he’s seeing his child; you’re annoyed because he got your hopes up and now you aren’t having the lovely Christmas you thought you’d be having, even if you understand why. And, actually, are you even annoyed? Or just really disappointed?

user2312 · 13/10/2024 15:41

Him wanting to have his child doesn't bother me, I always said all along about it but he pushed back about his child's a teenager etc they aren't as bothered. I'm annoyed he's just saying it like it's nothing and when it comes to me and seeing me doesn't seem fussed. Only told me when I mentioned it as he said he didn't know how to approach the topic.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 13/10/2024 15:36

I thought you were going to be away anyway?
I'd be annoyed at someone regularly changing plans, saying one thing and then doing another but I wouldn't be annoyed with him preferring to have his child.

Gardendiary · 13/10/2024 15:33

Little bit yeah, although it’s a shame he didn’t think it through to start with so he didn’t mess you about.

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