Page 7 | I know IABU - just lost it over a parent and child space

General90 · 2024-10-13T14:25:26+00:00

I feel awful because of my eldest child and it was so out of character for me. we were going to our local supermarket which is always full of people parking in the child bays without children. Anyway, a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up. She was in front of me when she pulled into the car park and took the last child space and got out and walked into the shop. My DH was driving so I got out and went in where I proceeded to ask her to move her car and she was aggressive to me so I just lost it and we had an argument in the shop. my DS didn’t witness me shouting at her but I’d tried to get her attention when she’d parked and so he knew there was an issue. all the way home he was saying he was worried and asked if the police would arrest her. I feel horrendous that it’s by behaviour that influenced this. I know I should have just left her and found another space. I am pregnant and hormonal, but didn’t excuse my behaviour.

soupfiend · 13/10/2024 16:37

Golfs are not causing a problem though are they?

Porridgeislife · 13/10/2024 16:36

soupfiend · 13/10/2024 15:51

Yes Ive said this before

Also we all know that parking spaces simply arent big enough these days because of the numbers of people driving massive cars, I think that is quite selfish in itself, there is no need for cars that big and they clog up parking spaces.

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Parking spaces aren’t big enough because the current standard car park dimensions were set in 1976.

Cars are primarily bigger because of crumple zones. Quite rightly, no one is keen to see their car fold to the size of a matchbox in a collision. It’s not a matter of people just choosing bigger cars, it’s also a mandated safety feature. A current model VW Golf (2020) is almost 20cm wider than the first version (1974).

Donimo · 13/10/2024 16:33

amothersinstinct · 13/10/2024 16:24

@soupfiend

You dont need wider spaces, they are just more convenient

Don't be ridiculous of course you do to get baby car seats in and out of cars especially with twins as you can hardly then climb over one side to get the seat out of the other

I've had to before when there wasn't wide enough parking spaces at a hospital. Get my twins out of the car (before parking) and put them in a pram and ask an passing stranger if she could stand with my twins in the pram, whilst I park. I have to have a large car with 3 children under 3. I had tried multiple times to manoeuvre the car in order to open both back doors wide enough to get the car seats out and it was impossible.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 13/10/2024 16:33

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 13/10/2024 15:43

I don’t think it’s that big a deal tbh. Obviously it’s not a good idea to confront random strangers as they might get aggressive but it was just an argument at the end of the day. No-ones gonna get arrested 🙃

Edited

I once had a random stranger follow me by train to where I worked (involved changing trains) with her DD in tow, her DD had been rude and aggressive to me so I’d spoken to the mother about it and the mother had been rude back to me.

However, just near where I worked was a small Boots where I was going anyway, so this stupid woman followed me in there with her DD but there were security guards/customer service staff plus CCTV so any further aggressive behaviour would’ve been flagged by all this.

She ended up leaving as I stayed in Boots, getting what I needed. She seemed the nutty one, following me involving a train journey. I don’t think her DD went to school where I worked or the town I got off at so good luck to her explaining why her DD was late to school and herself to her work if she was going to work.

suburburban · 13/10/2024 16:32

I think people are so selfish though about this

She was probably not worth it though OP but I totally understand where you were coming from

Gemmawemma9 · 13/10/2024 16:31

HermoniePotter · 13/10/2024 15:53

I actually think they should have parent and child spaces away from the store, with a rack of trolley there for aforementioned parents to decant children into and a path to walk to the store avoiding walking through cars.

I’ve said this for years too, it makes so much sense.

Agreed, guarantee parents wouldn’t be arsey over other people parking in them if they weren’t right in front of the entrance though!

Broccoliandcarrots · 13/10/2024 16:31

Don't worry about it. Your response was a bit extreme (understandable, you're hormonal) but she sounds like a twat. Maybe next time she'll feel a bit of embarrassment taking up a space that's not for her. Your kid will be fine, just downplay it, it's not a big deal.

There have been some really nutty answers here, suggesting she could have had a knife or you could have been arrested 🙄🙄🙄 Ludicrous. Just chalk it up to hormones and move on.

Screamingabdabz · 13/10/2024 16:29

I don’t blame you - I don’t have young children any more but still feel murderous when I see people abusing the spaces. Especially arrogant selfish young blokes in big cars - perfectly capable of parking elsewhere but don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.

The main problem is the supermarkets put them close to the front of the shop so everyone wants to use them. Put them a little further away - still lots of room for pushchairs and car seats but less appealing for the lazy and cuntish.

Donimo · 13/10/2024 16:28

EnfysHeulenEira · 13/10/2024 16:21

why did you need a man to do your shopping for you because you got upset that a man stole a parking space?

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He didn't do my shopping I still did it. He just offered because I was upset and he could tell I was having a bad day. I didn't take him up on the offer. It was just nice a stranger offers help when someone might need it

soupfiend · 13/10/2024 16:28

crochetmonkey74 · 13/10/2024 16:24

And then you would be in the wrong for blocking a car in deliberately.
No laws are broken , you don't get to police it

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And blocking the rest of the car park surely

The simplest way to deal with this is to go to customer services, if you can find one manned, and report it. What then happens is nothing to do with you

Broccoliandcarrots · 13/10/2024 16:28

DespairCalling · 13/10/2024 15:49

Mother and child spaces are ridiculous anyway. They should park and walk like everyone else.

The spaces aren't there so we don't have to walk 🙄They're not even always close to the entrance in every supermarket. They're there so that people have enough space to open their doors fully to get children in and out of car seats, and so there's a safe place to put up a buggy, and a safe walkway for toddlers/young children to walk down.

soupfiend · 13/10/2024 16:27

amothersinstinct · 13/10/2024 16:24

@soupfiend

You dont need wider spaces, they are just more convenient

Don't be ridiculous of course you do to get baby car seats in and out of cars especially with twins as you can hardly then climb over one side to get the seat out of the other

The poster used the word 'need'.

Its not a need, they are more convenient. And in any case she was able to park somewhere else and get (albeit a somewhat clumsy manner) to the shop

Car park spots are a convenience, they're not a right and if they're full, they're full.

Original poster

General90 · 13/10/2024 16:26

@MeowCatPleaseMeowBack why is that, what other responses would I expect to receive?

@amothersinstinct i asked her if she could move and said she’d taken the last space and she told me to fuck off

OP posts:

Donimo · 13/10/2024 16:26

Megifer · 13/10/2024 16:17

You really should get a buggy or something just in case there are no P&C spaces anyway.

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I had a pram (at home). But I can't fit a whole shop in the basket under the pram and I can't fit a whole shop in my car with the pram in the boot (a double pram is large)

LlynTegid · 13/10/2024 16:25

ttcat37 · 13/10/2024 16:16

My preferred method of shaming the lazy fuckers is to loudly say something along the lines of “I know she hasn’t got a child darling but some people are so bad at parking they need the special big spaces”.

That is being kinder than what I would say. The polite version would be a reference to Barnard Castle and testing eyesight.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 13/10/2024 16:25

General90 · 13/10/2024 16:24

@YellowAsteroid it absolutely isn’t, that is why I feel ashamed of the way I acted over something so trivial.

@MeowCatPleaseMeowBack i don’t know, but I couldn’t exactly call the lady so I was hoping to express how I am feeling to people who may be able to support me. As I said, I’m not looking for any gratification as I was the one in the wrong.

People are being quite nice so far but I'd be surprised if you end up feeling better at the end of the thread. Maybe talk it over with a friend instead.

amothersinstinct · 13/10/2024 16:25

@General90

What did she say when you confronted her?

crochetmonkey74 · 13/10/2024 16:24

theeyeofdoe · 13/10/2024 15:40

Because she drove like an arse - which is dangerous and then parked in a M&B space without a child - which is rude, entitled, arrogant and selfish.

OP I have done exactly the same, followed them in and got them to move the car. I used to simply say that they either move the car or I will park behind it and leave it.

You just say to your daughter that you were cross with the lady as she was driving very dangerously and that can cause an accident and that no, of course the police won't arrest you as you haven't commited a crime.

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And then you would be in the wrong for blocking a car in deliberately.
No laws are broken , you don't get to police it

amothersinstinct · 13/10/2024 16:24

@soupfiend

You dont need wider spaces, they are just more convenient

Don't be ridiculous of course you do to get baby car seats in and out of cars especially with twins as you can hardly then climb over one side to get the seat out of the other

Original poster

General90 · 13/10/2024 16:24

@YellowAsteroid it absolutely isn’t, that is why I feel ashamed of the way I acted over something so trivial.

@MeowCatPleaseMeowBack i don’t know, but I couldn’t exactly call the lady so I was hoping to express how I am feeling to people who may be able to support me. As I said, I’m not looking for any gratification as I was the one in the wrong.

OP posts:

LlynTegid · 13/10/2024 16:24

You were unreasonable not to have called the police about the tailgating and general lack of driving standards. Might have been difficult to block the car in so it could not have been moved.

Sirzy · 13/10/2024 16:23

Thehonestbadger · 13/10/2024 15:34

Honestly it just drives me nuts!
I get so cross about it.
I once followed someone who had just taken the last parent and child space off me and my 2 under 2 (at the time) and gone into the shop with her teenager who was literally taller than her by a good foot! The spaces at that particular super market were actually specified at ‘parent and toddler’ so not even the regular ‘parent and child’. The store manager got involved and actually had a bit of a go at the woman also when she fully tried to argue that her almost 6 foot teenager classed as a toddler FFS!

It also drives me nuts when people throw the ‘they might have a blue badge’ argument out there, we have a blue badge for my DS, just check the dashboard it’s not hard… do they have one? 95% of the time I bet you they do not! If they do, leave them alone, if they do not SHAME THEM!

I wouldn’t put DS blue badge up in a P and C space. No need to it’s not a disabled space or other space where it is needed.

people really need to calm down about P and C spaces. If one is free use it if not park elsewhere. The world won’t end!

EnfysHeulenEira · 13/10/2024 16:21

Donimo · 13/10/2024 16:13

I did a similar thing ages ago. I had my 4 month old twins and 3 year old with me and a man in his 50s on his own pulled into the last parent/child space. Which then meant I had to park the other side of the car park and carry both babies with my toddler holding onto my leg across the carpark to put them in a trolley. (Not easy). Additionally the normal spaces barely open wide enough to open wide enough in order to carry both babies together.

Anyway as I got to the trolleys I noticed this man was only just getting out of his car (looked like he had been finishing off a phone call). So I called him out on it and said "thanks to your selfishness and parking there I've had to struggle with these 3 across the carpark and had to trust my toddler to safely walk with us. Thank you". He completely ignored me, barged past me and walked into the supermarket.

I then proceeded to burst into tears (I had pnd) and hadn't slept for 4 months. A different kind man came up to me and offered to do my shopping for me at this point. (Restoring my faith in human kindness).

BTW I am more than happy to park further away from the door if the parent/child spaces were there. But I need wider spaces in order to get 3 children out the car and a trolley nearby to put them in!

why did you need a man to do your shopping for you because you got upset that a man stole a parking space?

soupfiend · 13/10/2024 16:21

Donimo · 13/10/2024 16:13

I did a similar thing ages ago. I had my 4 month old twins and 3 year old with me and a man in his 50s on his own pulled into the last parent/child space. Which then meant I had to park the other side of the car park and carry both babies with my toddler holding onto my leg across the carpark to put them in a trolley. (Not easy). Additionally the normal spaces barely open wide enough to open wide enough in order to carry both babies together.

Anyway as I got to the trolleys I noticed this man was only just getting out of his car (looked like he had been finishing off a phone call). So I called him out on it and said "thanks to your selfishness and parking there I've had to struggle with these 3 across the carpark and had to trust my toddler to safely walk with us. Thank you". He completely ignored me, barged past me and walked into the supermarket.

I then proceeded to burst into tears (I had pnd) and hadn't slept for 4 months. A different kind man came up to me and offered to do my shopping for me at this point. (Restoring my faith in human kindness).

BTW I am more than happy to park further away from the door if the parent/child spaces were there. But I need wider spaces in order to get 3 children out the car and a trolley nearby to put them in!

You dont need wider spaces, they are just more convenient. You can do your shopping without them, a lot of car parks dont have them in any case and you'll do like anyone else does and the trolley hovers somewhere near the boot. Hopefullly you are sensible and drive into the space front ways so that you have easy access to the boot and the rear seats, no good complaining about this sort of thing if you park the wrong way round

(I see a lot of people on here and in car parks who reverse into the space, you're not going to get your shopping in very easily or kids in and out very easily if you do that)

ttcat37 · 13/10/2024 16:21

DespairCalling · 13/10/2024 15:49

Mother and child spaces are ridiculous anyway. They should park and walk like everyone else.

Do you have children?