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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know IABU - just lost it over a parent and child space

234 replies

General90 · 13/10/2024 15:25

I feel awful because of my eldest child and it was so out of character for me.

we were going to our local supermarket which is always full of people parking in the child bays without children. Anyway, a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up. She was in front of me when she pulled into the car park and took the last child space and got out and walked into the shop. My DH was driving so I got out and went in where I proceeded to ask her to move her car and she was aggressive to me so I just lost it and we had an argument in the shop.

my DS didn’t witness me shouting at her but I’d tried to get her attention when she’d parked and so he knew there was an issue.

all the way home he was saying he was worried and asked if the police would arrest her. I feel horrendous that it’s by behaviour that influenced this. I know I should have just left her and found another space.

I am pregnant and hormonal, but didn’t excuse my behaviour.

OP posts:
NiftyKoala · 13/10/2024 17:21

GoldyHorn · 13/10/2024 15:29

Well you put yourself in a risky situation over a car parking space. Which is madness.

The police might have arrested you for starting an argument in a supermarket!

This . Worse what is she was deranged and followed you to the car. You put your son and dh in a vulnerable situation for nothing. Nothing you say would have made a difference to her.

narns · 13/10/2024 17:21

Blah blah blah "entitled" blah blah blah

Well yes, when the space is reserved for people with children (because of child safety), they are entitled to it.

Generally if something is reserved for you or a category for which you fall within, and someone else takes it, it's fucking annoying. You are literally entitled to it, and they are not. They are the asshole!

SlashBeef · 13/10/2024 17:19

Please don't ever follow someone for a confrontation again. Someone local to me died following a confrontation over a parking space. A father went to the supermarket and never made it home to his family after a needless row. It's just never worth it.

Original poster
General90 · 13/10/2024 17:19

@Hereforaglance i can absolutely see how my behaviour would have appeared that way today, yes. But it was so irrational and out of character. I don’t think I’m entitled but the way I acted was contrary to that I understand.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/10/2024 17:18

sandgrown · 13/10/2024 16:59

Don’t worry OP I have done the same thing .I asked a man with no children to move as I had to manoeuvre a car seat out . He refused saying there should not be parent and child places . His wife had gone in the shop and didn’t hear this exchange . I was fuming . I told the security guard who was useless so I stalked the man round the shop and rammed his trolley .I proceeded to rip a strip off him . His wife was mortified. They scuttled round the supermarket avoiding me but it felt great to get it off my chest!

I'd have reported you to security 🙄

letmego24 · 13/10/2024 17:18

And anyway you don't launch a vigilante episode you go through the proper channels!!

Hereforaglance · 13/10/2024 17:17

These spaces are offered as a curtosy not a rite of passage honestly it makes me laugh how some parents are so entitled it like look at me i got a child now give me everything i want now or i will scream

HermoniePotter · 13/10/2024 17:17

Chickychoccyegg · 13/10/2024 17:13

That is actually insane.

Show quote history

It’s really unbalanced behaviour.

Original poster
General90 · 13/10/2024 17:17

@letmego24 i know, it was terrible behaviour.

OP posts:
letmego24 · 13/10/2024 17:14

narns · 13/10/2024 17:14

It might not be unlawful to use these spaces without children but it can be enforced against. These car parks are private land and some use private firms to manage them.

The shopping centre local to us strictly enforces use of P&C spaces. You have to have a permit issued by them annually. If you park in a P&C space without displaying the permit they issue a PCN. Funnily enough it's much easier to get a P&C space there than most other places.

Well if you need a permit you need a permit, but the case in Tesco etc

narns · 13/10/2024 17:14

It might not be unlawful to use these spaces without children but it can be enforced against. These car parks are private land and some use private firms to manage them.

The shopping centre local to us strictly enforces use of P&C spaces. You have to have a permit issued by them annually. If you park in a P&C space without displaying the permit they issue a PCN. Funnily enough it's much easier to get a P&C space there than most other places.

HorsePeopleAreStablePeople · 13/10/2024 17:13

DespairCalling · 13/10/2024 15:49

Mother and child spaces are ridiculous anyway. They should park and walk like everyone else.

It's got nothing to do with being close to the shop. They're wider to give you space to get a baby out of a car seat and get the pram out of the car. I assume you haven't had a baby or you would know that. It's not about distance it's about space.

When the mother and baby spaces are full, I can't open my door enough to get my baby in the car seat so I have to leave my baby in the pram with the brake on, pull the car out, then get out and put the baby in while having my car blocking the drive way if someone has parked next to me while I've been gone. Totally unsafe.

Allfur · 13/10/2024 17:13

Why not get your shopping delivered

Chickychoccyegg · 13/10/2024 17:13

sandgrown · 13/10/2024 16:59

Don’t worry OP I have done the same thing .I asked a man with no children to move as I had to manoeuvre a car seat out . He refused saying there should not be parent and child places . His wife had gone in the shop and didn’t hear this exchange . I was fuming . I told the security guard who was useless so I stalked the man round the shop and rammed his trolley .I proceeded to rip a strip off him . His wife was mortified. They scuttled round the supermarket avoiding me but it felt great to get it off my chest!

That is actually insane.

letmego24 · 13/10/2024 17:11

Oh my goodness - are you insane? You can't attack people in a shop - parent and child spaceing is courtesy not legally binding!!
Terrible behaviour. And it will be on CCTV. I don't think you ' lost it' I think you felt entitled to the space. Why do you think you did it?

Bamboozie · 13/10/2024 17:11

Well, you already know it wasn’t wise to follow the idiot selfish driver and confront her but I can understand why you were annoyed.

I see it all the time. Usually some big suv type car. Self important. I’m surprised when it’s other women though. Not really that surprised when I see certain guys doing it, sadly. It’s always the same type. The same dickhead ones who don’t stop at zebra crossings.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t think
the spaces should exist - they do. Parent and child spaces are for….parent and child. Simple as that.

Clarabell77 · 13/10/2024 17:10

Don’t beat yourself up, she sounds like an arsehole.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/10/2024 17:10

'a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up.'

that was quite some distance

yet your car arrived at the supermarket just behind her ?

and she didn't tailgate you as it was your dh that was driving...

AD1509 · 13/10/2024 17:09

General90 · 13/10/2024 17:06

Sorry I haven’t responded to all who have asked questions, didn’t expect this many replies. @AD1509 yes but equally my reaction and response was not reasonable nor was it fair. I should have just left it but didn’t.

Why is it not “fair”. Why should you try to accommodate individuals who have intentionally inconvenienced you for no valid reason?

Original poster
General90 · 13/10/2024 17:08

@bringmorewashing and @YellowAsteroid thank you. I will definitely learn from it and model calmer behaviour moving forward. I just feel very ashamed and embarrassed of how I acted.

OP posts:
Original poster
General90 · 13/10/2024 17:06

Sorry I haven’t responded to all who have asked questions, didn’t expect this many replies. @AD1509 yes but equally my reaction and response was not reasonable nor was it fair. I should have just left it but didn’t.

OP posts:
YellowAsteroid · 13/10/2024 17:06

Good for you @General90 in having the grace to realise you were OTT.

I hope you’re feeling calmer now. Flowers

bringmorewashing · 13/10/2024 17:05

OP, you are pregnant. Give yourself a break. Throughout my pregnancy I became increasingly intolerant of BS from the general public and I had no qualms about telling people off when they were rude or irritating. This woman's driving would have set me right off!

After giving birth thankfully I've gone back to not really noticing or caring about stupid behaviour...

AD1509 · 13/10/2024 17:04

I mean I know it’s not a law that you can only park in a parent and child space with a child. But everyone realises those who do - when they have zero reason to are selfish cunts 🤷‍♀️. I wouldn’t feel bad about highlighting someone’s clear inadequacies.

LadyKenya · 13/10/2024 17:03

DM wasn't deemed disabled enough for a blue badge despite being partially sighted and unable to walk far. I would have had no qualms about parking in a parent and child space to save her walking.

And there would be nothing to stop you doing so. They are a courtesy, that some people will abide by.