To announce pregnancy at birthday party

If you just wanted to tell people you could have done so ages ago. You could pick up the phone and tell her this evening.

If you didn't want a showy announcement then you wouldn't be waiting this long anyway and it wouldn't have been an issue.

You don't make big announcements at other people's events.

Hmm I wouldn't personally. My cousin went around announcing she was pregnant at her brothers wedding. I just feel there is a time and a place for that.

If I was your mum I would be a bit disappointed that you waited days to tell me so you could make a show of announcing it to everyone, regardless of the birthday party issue to be honest, I wouldn't care about that, but I would care about being relegated to the same level as cousins/friends etc when it came to sharing such massive news.

If you have a good relationship with your mum you should tell her first and separately.

Why not give her the 'present' on the morning of her party/birthday, so you can still do your idea, and then as people suggested, ask her what she thinks of telling everyone at her party.

Congratulations. Just tell mum and she can be part of any announcement you make.

I think she would probably prefer you to tell her privately before the party rather than be told as part of a general "announcement". I would tell your parents and in-laws first. Your Mum will probably be excited and tell everyone at the party anyway. Just tell the people that are important to you, you don't need to make a formal announcement. I'm sure everyone will be very pleased for you.

I think it’s odd not to tell your mother until the 12 week scan, on reflection.

Congratulations OP. It is clear you know your mother best, and people here can give their opinions based on their own experiences but that doesn't mean their experiences will be yours. I'm sure your mother will be thrilled with the good news. Enjoy the announcement and the party!

Of course because she didn't hear what she wanted.

I think you are confused over what people mean by "losing their identity". You are describing parenting. You can find parenting hard, without losing your identity. I am one of the ones who was adamant I wouldn't become "just" a mother and I haven't.

Congratulations, OP!

I agree with this:

I personally think I’d prefer to tell her separately ahead of time so you can both really savour it. She’ll probably have lots of questions, want to know how you’re doing, want to gush over your scan pics. You’ll just have a bit more space to do that not in the party setting.

It would be much nicer for both of you to tell her when it's not during a party. If you really want to wait until after the 12 week scan, I'd tell her asap after the scan, and at least a day before the party.

However, you might find you want to tell her before the scan - I told my mum quite early on. If it had been bad news at the scan I would have wanted her support, anyway.

Are you new here? There is a significant minority on Mn who feel that family and friends should not get married or engaged on their wedding anniversary, birthday, or their children’s birthday or wedding anniversary, plus people who feel it’s a serious conflict of interest for someone to be bridesmaid at two different weddings in the same year because it ‘dilutes’ their attention. There are similar ‘ring fences’ around announcing an engagement or a pregnancy within a couple of months of their announcement, or getting married before someone who has got engaged after you.

I am a grandmother to 7 children and if it was for me I would really like it if you gave me a suitable card a few days before the party announcing the addition to the family.

Then at the party it can be freely discussed with all the family who are gathered there.

i don’t think such joyous news would take away attention , but add to the occasion.

Congratulations!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm sure your mum is going to be over the moon!

I think my post may have come over a little nasty but not my intention. I get the excitement honestly I do, we spent about 7 years trying for our children so I do understand. However, this is your excitement. I told my parents privately, no bells and whistles, tshirts, gifts etc. My dad cried, that was enough for me.

You said you don’t think you mum has a problem around self identity

Then say her self identity is about caring for others. That’s the exact point people are making

Sorry, but why do you have to "announce" it at all? Just let people know as part of normal conversation over the next few weeks.

It's definitely poor form, it's her day, don't make it about you.

I’d say it’s poor timing to do it at her party-day after would surely be better.

I'm not sure what it is with this week, but I've seen one or two other threads on here this weekend where people have been unnecessarily snippy or rude.

It shows a degree of good reflection that you have asked other people's opinion on this first OP, and I understand why you're excited. I think what people think of 'announcing' though is someone getting up on stage and making a big thing out of it, not just telling someone. It might be appropriate if it was for a much wanted first grandchild, but otherwise, it has too much potential to reflect badly on you.

I thought the same.

Leave it up to your mum, she may be delighted to announce your pregnancy at her milestone birthday. I don't think you should do it.

If she doesn't want to (which I doubt will be the case), you can let people know afterwards. It doesn't have to be a big announcement.

I'm so pleased for you, congratulations!

No don't do it. It's her birthday. Her party. Do your own party if you want to make a big announcement.