To announce pregnancy at birthday party

What?

I'm assuming it's her 60th or 70th? I can't imagine getting to that point in life and feeling 'upstaged' by good news

Surely if her mum is now a Great Granny (her other grandchildren are adults and one has a child) she's more like 80?

Don’t announce it , taking her aside to tell her on the night is fine as it will probably add to her big birthday … if she wants to tell everyone that’s ok

Let your mum enjoy her party. You could tell her beforehand so she doesn’t make a thing about you drinking but the day is about her.

It isn't. Making a self centered announcement at someone else's birthday party is cringe and despite most people saying no don't do it she's still going to. Embarrassing.

Nothing's cringe about telling. Making it a big announcement is cringe.

I would echo what others have said and tell her beforehand / involve her in whether or not to tell people at her party, for the reasons people have said, but also because frankly it could make a difference to how others view your decision.

One of my husbands relatives announced their pregnancy at our child’s first birthday - where we’d paid for catering and a bar tab etc - and a few of my friends were pretty annoyed on my behalf (I wasn’t personally thrilled, but I am pretty chill so didn’t make a ‘thing’ of it). I don’t think you can assume the holders of some of the more strident views on this thread won’t be in attendance at your mum’s party. It’ll defuse them considerably if they know she okay-ed ir in advance.

While you have every right to be excited your mums party may not be the time and place to share your news. My mum was similar she spent her whole life caring bringing up siblings, own kids and then being hands on gran - selfless people like this deserve to have a night be all about them if that's what they want.
I would tell your mum before the party and see what she says I wouldn't put her on the spot and say you plan to tell everyone though...

Not so much with one's own parents. Not in my experience anyway. I know some people like to wait (I didn't. Didn't announce ever but didn't hide it or lie about why not drinking if directly asked ever) but in choosing to do so OP has created this dilemma. Even if she wants to wait she could still pick up the phone from the hospital and still avoid the entire issue.

It clearly isn't about just being excited to tell people because if it was she would do just that. It's about wanting to announce it in a certain way

@Peaceandquietandacuppa I do find motherhood hard already and obviously I look forward to breaks as well. All I am saying is women are not "reduced" to just being a mum or grandma because it's something they want to celebrate. My accomplishments are still my own. My mum's accomplishments are still her own. She still is who she is. Celebrating being a grandma does not erase this and it's not "pathetic" to celebrate it and be excited about it.

What's cringe about telling your family that you're pregnant which a much wanted baby? I don't generally find it cringe when my family members tell me wonderful news.

What!!?? Waiting until after the 12 week scan is fairly common!

So you're going to be pig headed and make the cringe announcement because other people have said it's cringe.. seriously don't do it. Pick up the phone and tell her tonight or to her face before.

My mum would have LOVED it if I'd done this! There are some really mean replies on this thread. Congratulations OP and do whatever feels right for your and your family.

I’m sure your mum wouldn’t feel upstaged but she might feel the need to celebrate you news when she’s not really able to. For example, if you told her and she was elated, hugged you but then started circulating to welcome her guests and didn’t pay you much more attention she’d likely feel guilty and you’d probably feel underwhelmed. Have your own celebration, sounds like you deserve it 👍🏻

From what you have said, I'm sure your mum would be delighted to hear such good news at her special birthday celebration. As both a mother and a grandmother, I know that I would have been perfectly happy with that.
It's in no way comparable with announcing it at, say, a siblings celebration, where yes, it could understandably go down badly.

But that said, your mum would probably feel extra special if you shared your wonderful news with her shortly before you announce it to the wider world.

For older generation who may not have had a chance at a career etc

Blimey, how old is she?

I would definitely tell her first and in private. It may be v emotional for her and it would be lovely for you to share that together rather than doing it in front of every Tom, dick and harry.

We're taking MIL out for lunch on her birthday and telling her about our pregnancy then. It'll be just the 4 of us there (including DD) and I know she'll be delighted! I wouldn't tell family members at a birthday party for MIL though, it would take the shine off her birthday. Congratulations x

I wouldn’t do an announcement at the party but it could be cute to give her a birthday card from the bump with a scan photo - then it’s up to her if she wants to make a big thing of it - I’d expect a big joyous reaction!

Why does it need “announcing” at all? Tell your mum and close family the day of the scan, let your mum phone any relatives she wants to tell personally, stick it on Facebook/whatsapp/insta for the rest …

If I was your Mum it wouldn't bother me at all for the news to be shared at my party. I would be a bit hurt though not to be told about it before wider family.

Just dont do it. Tell people separately on a different day or hold your own event. Dont hijack your mum’s birthday and make yourself the centre of attention. It is immature.

this

If it were my mum, the correct answer would be to tell her beforehand and let HER announce it to everyone. We did that with our engagement actually, and it clearly brought mum a lot of joy to tell everyone.

Sorry not RTFT and slightly off topic but this comment stood out to me.

OP didn’t say she would be drinking. Or that she would need a reason why she’s not drinking. It could also be a party at 2pm with tea and sandwiches. OP could be a recovering alcoholic. Etc etc etc.

Honestly, it blows my mind how normalised some people think of drinking. (No offence to you @W0tnow - just an observation).