To announce pregnancy at birthday party

Why do you have to announce it?

Omg my mum would be so excited and joyous if I told her on her birthday that I was 12 weeks into a pregnancy (3 years ttc ivf and miscarriage). You know your mum best but I know my own would be woop wooping! Esp. if it's a family party and not an extravagant event. Congratulations :) 💐

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I don’t think the party is the right time to announce your pregnancy.
what about a special gift to give her prior to the party? Maybe a little cheesy but something like a grandma baby gro or maybe one of those decorative things that says ‘only the best mums get promoted to grandma’. I think she will also enjoy being first to know.

"I don’t know what some people are thinking I mean by “announce” - I get the vibe some are imagining some kind of very self-centred type thing that you’d expect from some kind of social media influencer or something - that’s nothing like what we have in mind. It would be done very much in the context of a “special gift” for her"

Well OP you certainly sound like a self centred social media influencer - framing it with a coy phrase doesn't make it any less inappropriate.

The best advice has been given here multiple times - tell your Mum a few days before - my only caveat would be that if she then suggests telling everyone at the party you can do it with a clear conscience, but don't suggest that yourself - I get that you're extremely excited OP but I also get the impression that your Mum has been quite selfless in her life, don't make her be selfless again. If she enthusiastically says "Oh wow lets announce it at the party!" then great, otherwise, no, save your announcement for another time and let your Mum have her day.

How old are you OP? If you are of child bearing age, your mum can’t be all that ancient where women did not have a chance at a career. This sounds like hyperbole to deflect that you do see her just in a mother/grand mother role.

i agree with previous posters - tell her beforehand and ask if she mind your making the announcement at her party.

This

Let your mum just for once have something that is all about her. Sounds like she's had a lifetime of putting her family first. Let it be all about showing appreciation for her otherwise she will l imagine want it to be all about you two.

Of course its a terrible thing to do

Never, ever announce anything at an event for someone else. It's selfish, self centred and thoughtless and puts you in the spotlight at someone else's event.

Also, OP, you're probably going to have a fall back down to earth quite rapidly soon when you realise no one is as interested or invested in your kid as you are (even siblings when they may say otherwise)

Noooo don't.
Make plans to see your mum the week after or if you go back to her house after the party

Honestly, if one of my daughters didn't tell me about her pregnancy until after 12 weeks, I'd be devastated.

Let your Mum have her birthday party though. As a grandmother and an old bird (54), birthdays don't feel much in terms of celebrating so I'd let her have the day and tell her before. If she then shares it, that's on her terms.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Because it's her Mum's day, not hers.

Absolute cringe fest.

To be honest given her mum knows about the TTC I'm surprised she's not already been told. She'll be gutted

I think it'd be lovely to announce.
You have lots of your family on the same room- chance to celebrate.
Maybe tell her first, but I'd be thrilled as a mum.

I would definitely tell your Mum first and ask her thoughts on announcing it at her party.

As a mother I’d be upset to be told at the same time as everyone else hears!!
I think you should tell her the day before her party or on her actual birthday when it’s just you and your DH and her and your dad!
She might tell you she wants you to announce it at her party, or ask if she can announce it on your behalf… but this should be her decision to make

*I really think this will just make the focus of your mum's party on you, as the family will be all excited and fussing over you

Oh come on now, you know what it's like at family parties. People mingle, have a bit of a catch up conversation with people they haven't seen in a while, ask how they are, how are the kids, how's work, holidays, whatever. Mentioning that you're pregnant may bring a smile to their face but it's hardly going to set the room alightand turn the spotlight on you for the rest of the night, is it? People say congratulations, ask when it's due and whether you're going to find out what you're having, and that's generally all they're interested in before the conversation turns to other things. They might ask you if you're feeling ok or have had any morning sickness, but generally there's not much more to say, is there? Unless OP is glued to her mum's side for every guest her mum talks to then it really isn't going to be an issue.

Having said that, I would make it more special for my mum in OP's position and tell her separately a bit before the party. Maybe give her her birrthday present card, and then give her another card with the scan picture in or something. Then SHE can have the pleasure of announcing OP's pregnancy to her party guests

Unless OP is going to get the hump at that? Honestly, people are so up themselves these days. Such a sense of self-importance.

Why can't op tell a day before? Op cannot decide for her mother how she should feel. Op calling this news a gift or a surprise is op dictating how her mother should feel. Tell her a day before and let the mother share this gift in her party.

Yes I think don’t tell her at her party, tell her before. I feel like it’s much nicer for her to receive ‘the gift’ privately and then her actual party she will be celebrating herself and can tell everyone about her next grandchild, no doubt she will be mentioning it to everyone excitedly. I haven’t read all the posts but honestly I really don’t think it’s a good idea to do it at the party unless it is your party or your partners party, and that’s not me or anyone being rude but maybe you’re so excited you can’t see it would appear it’s not a great idea.

It's not about the whole day. It's the fact op chooses her birthday party to make this announcement. Why not op do it right at the end of the day then?

There is nothing pathetic to be a little thoughtful about other people.

You’re making a big show of it at her event by doing a special gift. Just tell her before the party. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.

That depends entirely on your mum and how she is likely to feel about it. My mother would have pouted and tantrummed for weeks if one of us had done that to her. Personally I would be absolutely rapt if one of mine announced amazing news like this at my party. How do you think your mum would take it?

Such an odd way to think, where family is concerned and I assume this isn't the Royal family.

OP maybe it would help if you clarify what you mean by announcing? Are you envisioning standing at the front and asking everyone to be quiet and telling everyone at once? Or letting people know as and when you chat to them throughout the evening?