To announce pregnancy at birthday party

I think in this situation I might very quietly take my mum to one side to tell her and then if she feels it’s appropriate to announce to the rest of the party that’s her decision and you can then go and announce it but if she chooses not to I think it would be best just to hold fire until another time. Many congratulations!

Why not take her for a nice lunch or call round and say we have a special early birthday gift for you and give it/tell the news then.
Why not just tell her the news as it is without framing it as a present for her?

I know the long round to conceiving (5 years) @MyJollyLion but I still don’t see why you need to tell at the party. Your mam has a happy event coming up with her big birthday. There’s another happy event she doesn’t know about also coming up (your pregnancy). Why not take her for a nice lunch or call round and say we have a special early birthday gift for you and give it/tell the news then.

I would worry the party should be about her seeing all her friends and family and it might overwhelm her getting emotional news on her special day. If I was your sibling tbh I’d also be a bit annoyed you insisted on telling her during her party which presumably a lot of planning has gone into and changed the focus of the day to you (even if it’s you and your DM both being the focus)

I disagree with telling before, the focus will still all be on you during the party if you do that. Have the party, then stay late and help her to tidy up. Before bed, or the following morning, tell her you have one last surprise for her, and share the news.

Except that I was encouraged to give it to her to open publicly. 🤷‍♀️

It's a classic MN thing. Birthday parties are for kids, no adult needs a fuss making over it. Also MN, don't ruin your mum's special day by telling her something she is going to be over the moon about.

It's rude and selfish, leave the poor woman to have one day of her own fgs.

Reminds of a family wedding I went to about 30 years ago, the brides Sister got engaged at the wedding (boyfriend went down on one knee at the wedding reception party). There was lots of screaming and excitement at that moment. Then the rest of the wedding evening was people complaining about how rude it was and what poor form. Took the shine off the bride and groom

I would do this

Absolutely poor form. It's your Mother's Day and you want to make it about you. Announce afterwards. You sound like you've already decided that she would want you to, it's so special she would be happy for you too, and I'd bet you'll do it regardless, and we're hoping for some validation around the decision. I disagree that it's the right place to do it, pretty much everyone disagrees it's the right time to do it, but I'm sure there'll be an update saying you're going to and your mum is delighted.

Your mum should enjoy her milestone birthday without it being highjacked as a baby announcement party. Leave informing the family until a few days or a week afterwards.

I'd advise giving your mum a gift which celebrates her birthday rather than the fact she's about to become a grandmother. Otherwise you're making her birthday all about you and your child and not about your mum. Remember the party is for her, not for you.

Indeed, @MeowCatPleaseMeowBack , and I doubt putting it in the card that your mother would open at her own big birthday party would have met with anything but a lot of tutting twenty years ago on MN.

Yes, put it in a card she would receive a few days before the event.

But her big birthday is above all else an acknowledgement that she lived many years before she had you, so you shouldn't put yourself at the centre of it.

Notalltheleavesarebrown Putting a scan image in a card is nothing like making an announcement at a party!

When anyone asks, has MN changed, this thread epitomises it. When I was expecting my first, I was actively encouraged to do the scan image in a card thing. She was delighted for us and when they had an anniversary party a few weeks later, she was desperately hoping I would be big enough to show.

On the other hand, when BIL tried to use our wedding day to announce he was getting married to, it really rankled! But that might be because he is a sociopath and was stealing wine from my father's cellar in the run up to his big announcement!

I think anyone making an announcement that they're pregnant to a party cringey in the extreme. Their own party included. And keeping it a secret from your own mum for weeks just so you can tell her in some silly showy way with a scan picture or gimmicky card rather than just using your words like a grown-up is just embarrassing.
Nothing to do with thinking the mum needs to 100% be the centre of attention, just weird behaviour to deliberately wait till that day.

Absolutely, all of this.
I would think it very odd if my dd thought it was a good idea to share her lovely news with my colleagues and other non-related friends at my big birthday party at all, let alone when she hadn't even told me and her Dad, and her siblings and grandparents.
Really odd.

I'm far from that crowd. I couldn't have cared less what anyone wore at my wedding in any colour.

I think anyone making an announcement that they're pregnant to a party cringey in the extreme. Their own party included. And keeping it a secret from your own mum for weeks just so you can tell her in some silly showy way with a scan picture or gimmicky card rather than just using your words like a grown-up is just embarrassing.

Nothing to do with thinking the mum needs to 100% be the centre of attention, just weird behaviour to deliberately wait till that day.

People saying to tell the mum first and see what she thinks of the announcement, I think that’s a terrible idea, she will absolutely say “yes” immediately pushing herself to one side as most mums do. Like it says it’s a milestone birthday she’s probably devoted her life to her family don’t steal her thunder let her have her own day and her own celebration

Agree. People on Mumsnet are very weird ! They’re up there with the no one, but the bride, should wear white at a wedding crowd 😂

Of course it’s ok. She’ll be thrilled . I think it’s only on mumsnet that anyone would be upset you announced this lovely news on “their” day. I know I’d be over the moon.

Looks like I maybe going against the crowd here BUT I say it would make her day. It’s a special day for a special birthday, it would be the cherry on the cake for me. As a loving mom what could be nicer than hearing your youngest child is expecting a much wanted baby. I would make it inclusive for her though, perhaps get her to read something out and make the announcement without even realising at first? It would be a picture watching the realisation on her face. Congratulations on the baby and yes it’s a good idea xxx

You are not being unreasonable however, it's very bad form to take the attention away from your DM on her special birthday - which you will if you announce a baby. Tell her later. Then she will be thrilled.

You could do a quiet surprise announcement to your mum once you've had your scan a few days ahead of her birthday. Maybe get a "Happy Birthday Nanny" card & include a scan picture inside and let the penny drop... then leave it up to her as to announcement at her party.
Congratulations btw, I hope everything goes smoothly in the meantime & all goes well for your 12 week scan 😊

I would love it if my DC announced this at my party!
Would make a great day even better.

Don't be that person. Talk about me, me, me!
How about a birthday card which is what the day is about.

Her birthday and you being pregnant are two wonderful things, but they're seperate.

Don't piggyback on her milestone celebration.

You're saying what most are also saying.

No one is saying the child is an inconvenience, didn't see such a post.

It's about the DM having her day where it's all about her. Where she can go to bed reflecting on the interactions she's had with loved ones who came to support and celebrate her.

It's a great feeling to have where you feel loved and valued.

Which is exactly why OP wants to do it at the party, so she can get the attention. That's what's poor form.
If it was just about sharing the news, why do it at someone's milestone birthday....

Doesn't mean the DM won't be overjoyed, just making sure the day is about celebrating her. She's waited 10 years after all.

I can't get over the fact that you see your pregnancy as a special present for your mum and a privilege to know first.

You'll look back and be mortified yourself one day.

That’s completely different though - the OP doesn’t seem to be planning to tell her mum before the big reveal at her mum’s party.