To announce pregnancy at birthday party

The thing is, even if your mum is OK with I am going to guess that maybe some family members are going to wonder why you needed to make it about you.

It's almost like you want to take the spotlight off her. Or at least that's how it could come across.

Why not let it be about her that day?

Tell them before or after.

It's terribly rude!!! Especially for a milestone birthday.

My sister announced her pregnancy at my 18th birthday party and I still feel annoyed by it.

I’m surprised at these results, I don’t think it’s bad to announce at the party. You must know she’d have a positive reaction to be considering it (even if others here wouldn’t). But how would you plan to do it? Are you doing a speech anyway? I feel like it’d need to be part of a bigger toast about your mum?

On the other hand I personally think I’d prefer to tell her separately ahead of time so you can both really savour it. She’ll probably have lots of questions, want to know how you’re doing, want to gush over your scan pics. You’ll just have a bit more space to do that not in the party setting.
p.s. Congratulations!

I suspect a lot of the replies here are from younger folk, rather than the grannies. People who are still getting married themselves or have young children and bothered about daft things such as guests having to dress in certain colours at a wedding and other nonsense.

I’m having a significant birthday (party) next year and if one of the DIL’s announce she was pregnant, I’d be so thrilled. It would be the icing on the cake.

As you’re the youngest and have been TTC for a little while, I imagine your mum will be ecstatic with the news. People our age really don’t care much for celebrating our own birthdays but we really enjoy everything to do with the wider family. That’s what really makes us happy. 😊

Mum should be told beforehand.

I'd say the same if it was anyone else's birthday party.

Tell her now. Tell her when the scan is and that that only she will know until you have had a successful scan to confirm all is well.

I'd tell her at the party as she will be thrilled and see if she wants to make an announcement. She may be really excited to do so - or may want to have her own limelight, up to her.

Definitely DO NOT do this unless you speak to your mum first.

If you want to tell her a few days before and then ask her thoughts on announcing at the party, fine, but don’t just blindside her at her celebration.

Tell her before the party but don't mention either of you announcing at the party. Unless she asks if she can. She can hardly say no, if you suggest it. Congratulations!

I would tell her before she he party (earlier that day) and ask her whether she's ok for you to make a more general announcement or should you do it after the party. Pretty sure most grandmothers to be would love you to announce at the party but they also like to be told before hand so they are first!!!

No! Tell her first and ask if she wants you to announce to everyone else.

Like others have said I'd tell your mum before the party. It's her day , she will likely be super excited and want to tell everyone at the party but it should be her choice not yours.
Congratulations btw!

why - why would you want to do that ?

it's your mother's day.

not yours !

Poor form. Tell her the next day.

I'm assuming it's her 60th or 70th? I can't imagine getting to that point in life and feeling 'upstaged' by good news.

I'd have thought it would just add to celebratory mood of the day, but others seem to think differently!

Tell your mother separately, before her birthday.

If you must do it on that day get to the party earlier and tell her before anyone else gets there or stay late and do so once everyone leaves

Not that you want to think this way but if anything goes wrong with the pregnancy her birthday will forever be a reminder so I personally would do it a couple of days before or after.

In general it's poor form to announce anything at another person's celebration so I agree with PPs that it's much better to tell your Mum privately beforehand, perhaps after your scan?
She can decide if she wants to disseminate the news at her party. She might prefer to tell her friends and family individually rather than make a big announcement.

It’s an exciting time for you and your close family but it won’t really be exciting for anyone else assuming there will be people at her party that you won’t be close too. I wouldn’t announce it

I think a big “announcement” from you would be poor form, however I think telling your Mum the news before the party so It’s out there and it would be exciting for her and you to be able to share with guests.
if you want to “announce” it, I would wait until afterwards.

Very poor form. Let your mum have the one day she has for her milestone birthday, and then announce it. Or announce it beforehand. Whatever.

It depends on your mother really. My mother and my MIL would both be absolutely thrilled to hear this news, and would both love being able to share it with everyone present at the party (they aren't the types to hold news for long 😅)... but seemingly there's others who would probably be annoyed and see it as "stealing thunder".... which side do you think your mam would fall into? And when would you tell your DHs side of the family?

*make her day

I don't think it's poor form, I don't think my own mum would give two hoots and would make her say to be honest, especially if it's taken some time and a struggle as your post suggests. However, I do agree it may be better to tell your mum before or even on the morning of the party before other guests arrive, simply because you'll want to cherish her reaction and telling her 1 on 1 may be more special. I'm sure she won't care about the lime light!

I hate the word “announce”. Tell her quietly before and ask if it’s ok to tell others at the party.

However, I do not understand people getting upset about good news being shared on their birthdays. How precious.