To announce pregnancy at birthday party

I suspect the Op found out she was pregnant today and already thinking about her FB post announcing it with the ultrasound pic 🤭

You could tell her privately as a birthday surprise for her if you like but not announcing it at the birthday party. The vast majority of people there won't be in the least bit interested and it's making your mother's birthday party about you. I can't stand people doing things like that - similar to people announcing pregnancies or engagements or whatever at someone else's wedding.

Well, it really depends on who is there and whether your mum would like it and what you mean by "announce".

If you are planning on a big showy announcement to everyone in the room, it comes across a bit "look at me" especially as everyone there has come to celebrate with your mum and not you, and may not actually be that interested.

If you want a showy announcement and everyone saying well done, then do to your own friendship group.

I personally wouldn't impart my "big news" at someone else's event, but only you know your family dynamics.

Jesus. PLEASE DON:T DO THIS. So bloody unfair. So many people on here saying, oh she wont' care, she's older.

She will.

Let her have ONE BLOODY DAY that's about her and not her kids.

This. Just tell people as and when it comes up if people ask why you're not drinking. And tell your mum now. What are you waiting for?

Likelihood is, ironically, she’ll be excited to talk about it with friends at the party.

Because it’s a lovely surprise for someone who loves to be a grandmother.

Also I don't think the "announcement" will be quite as you imagine. Of course people will be pleased and say congratulations but in the grand scheme of things they won't be that bothered. Best not to do it, just makes you look a bit needy.

Tell her the day before so she is even more excited to celebrate. Don't do it at the party

Why do you need to announce a pregnancy at all? Tell people as it comes up in conversation after the party. You don’t need to tell the world at once. If anyone questions why you are not drinking at the party you can just say you don’t feel like it today or you are driving, it’s not complicated.

Hijacking someone else’s event, like a birthday, milestone or not is bad form.

Good point.

I’m not a martyr. I don’t prioritise my family everyday to the point that I feel my birthday needs to be all about me as it’s the only day of the year I can have that.

I have 2 children an equal partner and shared responsibility.

Maybe the issue here is that many posters have no balance between being a mum/grandparent/wife and being an individual

Agree with this.

No, but if I’m going to a 70th birthday party I expect those 3 hours of that day to be about the person whose birthday it is.

You do enjoy your hyperbole, don’t you?

I would announce to my mum as birthday gift but wouldn't announce at the party.

It’s not a whole day either.

Its a party.

and yes, I would have avoided announcing big news at a party that’s about for someone else.

But in the same vein you could say Op has any other day to announce her pregnancy.

Why does she need to make the party about her announcement?

is that equally pathetic?

you tell her a few days before the party, and then let her announce she's going to have another grandchild.

I think that’s also a good point.

Most people tell their parents and close family first before everyone else.

No but I would expect a party to be focused on who the birthday party is for.

Personally not a fan of big pregnancy announcements. I always told people on an individual basis. It's quite self indulgent I feel. I know it's exciting and I understand the trying for a while as I did both times but really it's quite a personal thing.

A whole day? Just about one person?

No one else is allowed to do or say anything that could distract from the birthday girl? Seriously? Once again, I say it’s pathetic.

To an extent yes? The news can wait.

FFS, no one needs fawning over. Don’t be ridiculous. The poster you’re quoting is disagreeing with your martyrdom position.

Women who spend their lives prioritising their families deserve that the main conversation on their once-a-decade birthday party to be about something other than their daughter’s pregnancy.

Chats about shared jokes, a catch up, a good laugh. Celebrating the friendship and events of a life. As soon as the pregnancy is “announced”, that’s it for the conversational topics.

I’m sick of mother/grandmother being the filter through which adult women are seen. We get to exist outside that, too.

@MyJollyLion - do you think your mum deserves a party where she’s what’s celebrated? Where people came because they value her and want to hang out with her? Or is her role as Your Mum the important bit?

Tell her before or after; I’m sure she’ll be absolutely thrilled. But give her the consideration of a celebration about her, not family.

I hope, if I'm ever lucky enough to become a grandparent, that my DC would tell me before announcing the pregnancy to my random friends who may be attending my party.