Why do so many women put up with crap?

Where's your evidence? There's overwhelming evidence for the asymmetric power structures against women.

You have chosen to ignore that and instead speculate that women stay in abusive and dysfunctional relationships because they value "cock" more that their own wellbeing.

I stand by my view that that's offensive, especially with the news story you mentioned.

Your comment is awful. You think that poor woman stayed with her rapist abusive police officer husband (spot the obvious difficulty with reporting him to the police) because she was 'desperate for cock' absolutely vile.

I think a lot of it is because many women face serious hardship if they split up, particularly if they have children together.

Also, and this is true in my case, some of us have poor role models. We grew up seeing family and friends in those situations and assume it's normal and it's what happens to everyone.

I was lucky, I had the funds to get out and realised I didn't much care if it WAS normal, it wasn't what I wanted, and so I was able to leave. But so many others aren't in that position.

I think it's just to get it off their chest, a rant always helps.

Because they often work part time, and have kids.

They are scared of what their dh will do to the kids when they are not around and or they cannot afford to rent a house big enough for themselves and their children on one income alone.

There are large parts of the country where one income really isn't enough to support a family.

They have a choice between a crap dh and serious poverty

I have heard of the patriachy yes, But I am seriously starting to think that women are also sex obsessed, not just men.

If you think the post is offensive, and I can't decide whether it is or not, then ask for it to be removed and let mumsnet decide.

I suppose that

1. the cost-benefit analysis of confronting / leaving is often very complex. There are all sorts of practicalities, attachments and powerful emotions involved that are difficult to capture in a single post online, and often the partner being complained about has many positive points too / is still someone the OP is in love with.
2. Where a partner truly is being pretty irredeemably awful or abusive: it can take a lot to face up to this. For a lot of people, doing so means accepting that they have been drawn to an abuser or to someone who does not love or respect them; they put up with this. That can be an identity shock. People might ask: 'what does this say about me and my judgement and choices?' I think that traps a lot of people.
3. some people come in here to discuss or rant about a specific issue that bothers them and the act of venting is enough for them to carry on, even if change doesn't happen (I can relate to this one).
4. individuals differ greatly in terms of confidence, social skills and personal resources (including financial resources). I don't think it's as simple as people being scared to be alone in some sort of irrational way that requires feminist re-education (although sometimes it might be partially this!). Being alone has costs in society. It is challenging. It can leave people feeling vulnerable, especially if they've become used to a partner. People often choose familiarity over the unknown out of fear of how they would handle change or fear of whether they have the capacity to navigate that change.

In a nutshell: change is hard and life is complicated.

Women are conditioned to put their needs second. Some don't even realise that it is abuse. Mumsnet is a brilliant eye-opener for many.

However, sadly women are often trapped when they have children and give up work or the man threatens to take the children.

@Chowtime that is deeply deeply offensive especially in the context of the news story discussed.

Have you heard of the patriarchy at all? Women are at a massive power disadvantage to men, which limits their choices.

Socialisation starts very early and it’s incredibly hard to see it happening to you, much harder to react against it. Girls brought up looking after their brothers, even older brothers; girls brought up complimented on their looks rather than any skills they have (other than being kind and helpful); girls brought up with a higher expectation of helping with domestic chores than boys are… loads of things, often very insidious things. Creates a lot of women who think they must be being unreasonable if they’re not doing 90% of everything, simply because their male partners are better at saying no to stuff.

It’s not so much what they’re not doing. It’s women that are tolerating absolute arseholes who don’t respect them or treat them with any love, which I guess then leads to the doing bloody nothing to help around home life. YANBU.

Don’t want to break up the family?

They think living as a domestic servant is easier/better than being single.

Scared to be on their own/low self esteem.