AIBU to find it more challenging to parent because of other parents on days out

You seem very defensive for someone asking people for advice. You have afew options here.

1. Dont go if it bothers you that much
2. Use the day as a treat day and just enjoy it for what it is, don’t stress it afew extra treats here and there never hurt anyone
3. Explain to your child your rules before you get there

My GD is nine and very slim. Her mother lets her eat virtually anything that she fancies, including sweets, though not snacks too close to meals. Personally I wouldn't do this and they know that at my house they don't get any sweets though they do get snacks when they get home from school, maybe a crumpet or some kind of cake.
My own DC didn't eat snacks like this, normally just toast or cereal to tide them over until supper. Both GC are slim, active and healthy with no dental problems so I don't see that it is doing them any harm. I don't criticize other parents' treatment of their children.

No I don't ask them to. But sometimes it would nice if people were a bit more thoughtful.

OP I thought you sounded like a bit of a twat in the original aibu but having read your responses I love how you have learned from this experience. I truly can feel your growth and I commend you for that.

I wasn’t allowed lots of ‘sugary treats’ as a child. I have a huge sweet tooth now but in my teens/twenties I was more a savoury snack lover than a sugar lover.

I would like you to consider that your DD could be neurodiverse. The meltdown and give me things/pulling on your bag at 9… I mean I’m not expert but I think you should get it checked out. There’s no harm in doing so. You can do a lot online, self assessment things. Or even just looking into adhd/autism basic traits; you never know you might identify other behaviours she does. I was diagnosed with adhd in July this year at 46. I wish I could have done something about it when I was younger.

Good luck. Parenting is hard.

This!
OP you’re letting other peoples parenting bother you too much

OP a couple of the things that you have mentioned during your childhood ie negativity, turning to junk food( I'm guessing for comfort) and being overweight may be something you need to look at,as it may be rhat you're projecting your insecurities onto your daughter (just a thought ok).

One of my DC has allergies, but I’d never expect others to refrain from eating foods they are allergic to. That’s just not how the world works.

It sounds like you're asking for opinions but getting aggressive with ones that differ from yours.

It maybe that these other parents style is healthy snacks 6 days a week and when they're all out with friends it's a cheat day. It maybe that they are OK with their kids constantly eating sugar. They are parenting, just differently to you. They don't have to amend their approachs to make your parenting choices easier.

How you parent your DD isn't unreasonable, but it doesn't mean it's a. Perfect or b. Should be held as some universal standard. And as many have asked, it's reasonable to query if your values differ so wildly to these parents why don't you cease socialising with them.

If you wish to keep seeing them you need to accept this is how they parent and they're entitled to. You either need to continue managing her expectations, or change your approach, or accept when you're all together you may need to adjust your daughters treat intake the rest of the week to balance out your concerns. But you can't change others and it's unreasonable to expect to

Try having DC with allergies and watch other parents buy their DC huge piles of food that my DC can't have and let their DC scoff it down right in front of them. It's not really fair but they just have to get on with it.

You can't expect everyone in the world to follow your own rules.

The whole concept of treats is part of our childhood obesity problem. Don't buy unhealthy food. Give your kids healthy options and don't make a fuss either way about junk food.
1 Saturday doesn't matter in the scheme of things, but you would have a better day hanging put with different families.

You are right....in my opinion but

You cannot influence others it just won't work.

You control yourself and parent your DC the way you want. You either have to ignore the non parenting parents or limit your time with them....they most likely won't change (then regret it years down the line).
YANBU.

Im not sure why you asked for opinions when all youve done is shut down people who call you judgy 😂

Group trips out mean you either have an argument or you relent because its a one off. If you want 💯 control over your child and your day out then you can always go alone

jeez lighten up ffs

Alcohol is something that can be avoided quite easily whilst eating is something you can’t really not partake in.

Making the right food choices, how little or how much you eat and noticing the affect certain foods have on your body is something that only you as an individual can learn and decide on by trying certain foods and knowing how they make you feel and how they affect your body.
This should start from a very young age and being introduced to a wide range of fruits and vegetables to start with and treating everything as normal everyday food. Even those things that other people consider as treats
As a parent making sure your child has enough vitamins and minerals through their food, whether that be in the shape of a cookie, sandwich and a tofu and roast veg stirfry
Initially it all has to be planned out and thought about before you leave the house.

If you know you are going to be with other parents who are going to hand out stuff you don’t really want your child to have and the other children think they are treats then you have to come up with a similar healthier “treats” for everyone to eat first.
Fill dc up with your “healthy” version of cookies, fruit and have sandwiches on hand. Then when they get round to the other mums doughnuts they might be too full to eat a whole one.

It’s about being realistic and planning ahead

It takes a bit of thought and organisation at first but eventually it becomes quick and easy to pack stuff.

No comments on the original question but these kids have been given crazy amounts of really unhealthy food! It's probably not just a one off either. How can parents justify jeopardising their children's future health like this? One snack is enough surely?

🫣

I think some people just like to bash ops for the sake of it. There's nothing unreasonable about telling your young daughter to be polite to elderly people shopping, or not wanting your child to eat a constant stream of chocs and sweeties but feeling uneasy because all the friends are doing it and you don't want her being the odd one out.
Honestly there's nothing unreasonable about feeling that way I don't get the op bashing that goes on on this site.

I just feel, if l’m going to comment, it’s only going to be if l agree with the original post.But yes, l’ve had enough of it now, it’s just strange the other person hasn’t commented any further, now you’ve got involved, which is just adding to it.
I stand by what l’ve said, l’m now leaving the thread.

I've definitely had similar experiences op days out with DC and their friends and their parents. A regular day and the other parents supply their child + friends with a constant supply of chocolate and sweeties and you look like an ass trying to moderate your child's food.
I'm sure someone will be along to tell you you should mind your own business and not be afraid to make your daughter the odd one out. But it's not that simple and I 100% understand you.

I've (ashamedly) just wasted 20 minutes of my evening going through what was said, and I'm on your side with the content. But the pair of you are just banging on and on, going round and round about nothing in particular - certainly nothing to do with the thread!

And now I've stupidly gone and stuck my nose in and become part of the problem! 😂 Do as I say and not as I do. 😉

If you’re going to comment might be useful, if you’d read what was said prior.You’re not really helping helping though are you, l just said l want to move on, with this thread, the quoting has just been ridiculous.
I don’t get why, you now feel the need to chime in, when you have no idea what’s been said.It’s done, let’s just move on.

By replying and further trying to argue your point you absolutely are playing this "game". I've no idea what either of you said at the beginning but come on - you're fully grown adults!

Stealth brag post is not very stealthy.
Must try harder.

Christ…. Well I guess everyone who disagrees with you is wrong so I’m not sure why you asked.