To think my H is being an asshole for saying...

I get what @Drunkonbugmilk is trying to say, even if I wouldn't put it in such words.

If my DH's preferred clothes were "comfy" style clothes, like jogging bottoms and a hoodie, then it would definitely lessen my attraction to him. Over time that makes a difference. I'd prefer to bring it up before it becomes too late.

I'm married and have been in the same relationship since i was 18, we both regularly check in with each other about our needs and wants. This is part of a healthy relationship. There are also plenty of times we have been getting ready and my wife has pointed out something she thinks doesnt look good on me, and I have done the same for her. We find each other attractive and guess what, we want each other to be able to look our best.

If she told me something didnt look good on me and i felt hurt by the way she phrased it, I'm enough of an adult to have that conversation with her, i wouldnt take my grievances to the strangers of the internet, and definitely wouldnt be seeking the validation of some desperate 51 year old who seems to be proud of his drug use based on you name. Get a life mate :') trying to validate someone who is too much of a child to have an honest conversation about needs and feelings with her husband at 41 years old is not becoming.

This isn’t Reddit and her DH doesn’t know unless she tells him she posted this. No one knows who they are.

He could have said this to her face instead of over text so why are you blaming her and not him over how he communicated it which was pretty rude.

He may not like how she dresses but saying no other man would be attracted to her because of what she wears because all men must think like him is weird and objectifying.

You have no idea how she dresses and what he considers old lady. For all we know, he could want her walking down the street with her bum on the cusp of being exposed.

Highly doubt he would like the same thing said back to him.

100% this.

Having a conversation via text about your future? Can’t you talk face to face? You lose all context by messaging.

Lol.

I take it you're divorced and every woman you've met since has been a bit billous in your presence.

And then you say;

'I AM NOT THE PROBLEM. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM'.

And then they laugh.

I’m probably the minority but I like it when my husband likes my clothes. If my husband thought I was dressing too old I’d probably take that as a compliment meaning I look younger than I dress

He needs this.

I think your biggest problem is you are both having this discussion via text!!
Why can you not talk to each other and have a proper conversation? Strange way to communicate with what appear to be fairly serious issues.

I don't think there's any fixing that man.

Are you married to my ex?

he said almost the exact thing to me after we’d been living together for about six months. I was hanging washing out and he just came out and said he didn’t want to be going out with someone who dresses like an old lady and demanded I get changed.
He went on to criticise my table manners, told me I was a letdown for not wanting to share a bottle of wine with him (I am teetotal), there are so many more, but I was young and it was subtle so as to be almost unnoticeable.

His misogynistic opinions aside, there is no way I would have a conversation like this via text message, that’s asking for trouble.

Maybe get really dressed up in some skimpy young clothes and tell him you are going out clubbing without him.

What is his appearance like? Is he a healthy build with good hygiene and dress sense. No disgusting habits?

Dress how you want to dress. If you are happy with your clothes that is all that matters.

Hmm, loving someone and finding them attractive aren't the same thing. I'll always love my husband but if he gained a lot of weight or something I'd find it unattractive and say something.

It's a tricky thing to navigate - we want our partners to stay attractive for each other, but we love them so don't want to hurt their feelings if something goes amiss. I've seen relationships fail because they can't be honest or navigate this issue well

I'm always helping bf to choose clothes as he has neither form nor fashion. He likes to look good. And he does.
If you don't mind how you look that's fine too.

Pics please 😄

I’m sure he looks like Ryan Reynolds when he wakes up hmmm

Im 41 and have no idea how I would dress my age?!? Isn’t that the point we are all different.

I know not the point but how do you dress ? as I would consider old lady classic style a compliment ( not in this scenario) and I’m needing new ideas as I’m stuck in a floral dress rut

I had an ex like that. Ex being the operative word. He was so vain and believed himself gorgeous he thought he deserved an instagram baddie. He was surprised when we broke up that someone who looks like me could have the audacity to leave him. Bet he’s still scratching his thick head now!

Text him back saying “you should really look in the mirror more” then divorce him and take all his money

@tellmesomethingtrue .misogyny? im a sap tho- you know him-but-i read one-aesethic comment....bold as brass- yup but...how to save our marriage,albeit said in
"man"....theres wiggle room.maybe he ment. dress like you love you.want me to adore you. my ms 81 and age appropriate lovely chic style tho. maybe hes framed what he meant really badly....maybe hes an asshole...
IF hanging by a thread as is.....what other "remedies" has he got in mind? if offers miele kitchen applinces n shark hoover-grciously ccept before you bin his sorry arse.
thing is...if you already holding a (mgy)bow.....it could well be fukt.
whst would your top 2 or 3 suggestions/positive changes ideals?

Put on some high heels, a sassy little dress and make up when you present your divorce papers.

He must not find you attractive to look at anymore and blames the clothing. Be comfortable in what you wear, for yourself.

If you stay with this man only dress to impress men (in the way he wishes but how you feel not yourself) when you are going out with your girl friends. Ha ha ha.

Buy him some Budgie Smugglers for your next beach holiday (as you're sick of old man bathers).

Tell him you don’t dress for the male gaze…not his not any other man’s.

I do hope he’s found the perfect middle aged man style.

You can't fix a marriage with a bad man darling.

You can't.

I left mine 22 years ago. Makes me happy that he's gone.