To think my H is being an asshole for saying...

I feel bad for you if a thread like this has been the most you've laughed in ages.

No condolences required, she's sleeping soundly at the moment while i tend to our 3 month old son who gives us much more joy than I'm sure you have felt in a while. I genuinely wish you the best though

Defending my right to wear certain clothes?

I shall await the court summons!

'Talking so much smack'

'Projecting'.

You use interesting words and turns of phrase.

I'd ask if English was your second language, unfortunately for you, I think it's your first and only language.

Sad times.

Maybe he could have said it in a more delicate way

Maybe? 🤣🤣

I'm not sure how you speak to other people , but trust me....theres no maybe about this, in my world

unbelievable. Is this the sort of thing you would say to you wife then? Poor woman.

I ask for my husbands opinion on clothes regularly. Eg if I’ve bought a new dress I might try it on for him before I decide to keep it. Sometimes he compliments a particular outfit and I will take that on board.

But there is no way I would tolerate being spoken to like that.

Your post is so nuts I feel like you must have read a completely different OP to me.

@Drunkonbugmilk, I was a bit bored but you've really energised me.

I haven't laughed so much for ages.

I genuinely do thank you.

(PS: Send my condolences to your imaginary wife.)

Maybe you need to lay off the high doses and get back to reality, you're making inside jokes to yourself on an anonymous forum.

The question is about if her husband is her arsehole, my response is pointing out she is the arsehole for talking so much smack on him instead of talking to him about it.

Youre the one desperately defending the right to wear certain clothes, i honestly dont know and dont care what clothes she wears, i just cant imagine speaking so negatively about my wife to strangers on the internet as she is about her husband. That is real arsehole behaviour. You seem to be completely confusing the issue and badly projecting. You should deal with your own insecurities lol

Are you talking to me?

Man you're so hilariously off the ball with your wall of text.

But carry on. I like it.

I love meeting people like you. It's a gift. It really is.

My husband met a 'you' person in the sauna yesterday.

You fo.walk amongst us.

It's pretty funny.

You're doing an entertaining amount of projection. I need no such prescription and have had plenty of such experience, it just seems a bit cringey to be making it a part of your personality, you seem to have a fairly deep well of insecurity and make a big song and dance to cover it. Maybe seek counselling (genuinely). I made a mistake of assuming you were a man that is correct, because you give off fairly desperate energy :') after reading this reply i now understand. I'm glad wearing loud clothes help you feel like you are expressing part of yourself, I'm also happy to know you have happy feelings toward your husband and dont feel the need to express digust or contempt for him to strangers online. I feel that to be rancid behaviour personally. If you have committed yourself to a person i think doing that is vile, I'm sure your 20 year relationship has involved plenty of genuine honest and sometimes downright unconfortable conversations with your husband, and I'm sure doing that directly with him has been much more beneficial than talking shit about him online?

I'm absolutely amazed at the number of pp who are actually accepting that it is OK for OP's DH to critise what clothes she wears. And that pp are actually questioning her as to as to what her dress sense is like!

Of course OP should dress for herself.

She is not her DH 's doll for heaven sake!
She is a woman with her own thoughts and tastes and it's her body. She wears what she wants to wear.

How she dresses isn’t relevant. The OP is entitled to dress how she likes and not be dictated to by her DH. If he feels the way she dresses is some kind of dealbreaker for him then he can leave.

@Drunkonbugmilk what a nasty, revolting post

This is emotional abuse. My ex said this stuff as well.

It’s possible to be honest and considerate at the same time, but that’s not what happened here. No amount of digging on the OP’s part could have made what her DH said acceptable. I’m amazed anyone would tolerate being spoken to like this.

Point being, @tellmesomethingtrue hasn't said how she dresses at all.

Just that the dick she's acoupled with has a lot to say about it.

And how it's related to her age.

It's not about you @Drunkonbugmilk.

Are you married to Kanye West??

Thankyou! If I've worked all week and we have to go out sometimes I'll be in no hurry to get changed out of my comfy clothes. My wife has had a few less than polite words in those moments and even if i grumble about it I'm happy to throw on some nice clothes and make sure I'm stepping out the house a the man she is proud to be seen with. Making an effort to maximise your attractiveness to the person you want to spend your life with is always a worthwhile investment in my eyes, and yields dividends in the long run.

I wouldn’t like it if DH dressed like an old slob.

'His drug use'

I'm a woman, friend.

I've been married to my darling husband for 20 years. I find him absolutely entrancing. I dress rather flamboyantly and use clothes as a meaning of expression, 'why dress boringly when one can dress brilliantly, life is short, why wear the shit clothes when you can wear the good ones?'.

I love it when my husband wears something outside his comfort-zone, I love it when anyone does. I'd rather see someone try and fail with an outfit than people shamed into never trying to express themselves through their clothes.

Seems like you're a small-minded bloke who feels second-hand embarrassment when people bust out. I FUCKING LOVE IT when people express themselves. It makes me happy.

Why the fuck shouldn't they?

I'd prescribe you some psilocybin, you obviously know what it is. It would probably do you good.

PS 'Desperate 51-year-old' is hilarious.

You've got the age right. And you have made me laugh. So I thank you.

I think he's worded it badly but if you're slobbing around in trackies all the time and wear things that are unflattering when you go out with him, is he not allowed to feel something about that? Plenty of threads on here from women who dislike and want to control what their partners wear, or their hair / beard style. If he really means he wants a trophy wife / arm candy then yes it's an issue and he can get to fuck but if there's some truth to his comment then I think a face to face discussion might be better. Obviously you are still entitled to tell him to fuck off but it's not immediately clear that he's all the names he's been called on here.

Hey, who shat in your porridge?
Glad I don't have anything to do with you in real life.
😕

So badmouthing the person you're married to to a bunch of strangers and giving them a platform to also badmouth them isnt bad unless they find out? Wild take...

So he communicated it in a way she didnt like, she should surely explain that to him so she sets her standard for how she would like him to communicate his thoughts feelings and needs to her in the future...

Instead she calls him an arsehole to the internet. Childish nonsense. She should sort herself out and have a conversation with her husband instead of being a crank. Set boundaries, if he finds them unreasonable he can leave, and if they arent respected then she can leave. What even is the argument you're making here?

He's negging you to keep you in your place.

the way I dress as his wife

how lovely, he sees you as his inanimate possession he can make vile comments "at", because you don't have an opinion or feelings worth considering.

why the hell would you even consider marrying this tool.

My dh has terrible dress sense. I help him pick out clothes and want him to look well. I would struggle with what he would find ok if l had no input as it would do nothing for him. He would wear anything but does feel good when he has nice clothes. Am l a controlling horrible wife??. I think it's good to feel your dh finds you attractive and doesn't want you to sell yourself short by wearing dowdy old clothes that do nothing for you. I'm not talking dressing sexy but making a little effort. Here women often complain that their partners are letting themselves go and they don't like it. Surely its the same thing. I suggest listen to him and think about it.

If he'd like you to wear different clothes, he's within his rights to ask......politely and toxcx explain why

Naturally you don't have to comply

However his words are nasty and deliberately chosen to hurt and upset

Therefore he's not a nice man

I'm assuming there's a massive backstory (why else would you be having this conversation on text)

I'm guessing you're building up to ending the relationship?