Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you drink in front of your dc?

64 replies

Nowandforeveridontcare · 12/10/2024 22:45

I’m likely in peri menopause so barely drink these days as it’s not worth feeling unwell for, but recently I’ve been craving having a drink say on a Friday or Saturday night, like Dh and I used to, pre Dd.
If I meet up with friends for parties, I’ve had a glass of champagne or two, the kids don’t notice or bother to see as they’re off playing, Do you sit and have a drink in front of your dc? As in a Friday night watching tv etc?
I grew up with my dad being a big drinker, I remember the horrible feeling I’d have when he came home on a Saturday after a session with my uncles, I hated the way it changed him, even if he was just being silly, it made me feel insecure, I vowed never to drink when older, but went the other way for a while. When my parents come to stay, I’ve still made it a non drinking house, which probably sounds ridiculous, but the atmosphere changing when my dad has had a drink is not great for my anxiety and now it’s my house and I’m an adult and don’t want Dd around that. I also now hate Dh getting too tipsy at home or coming home like that. Recently I’ve been thinking maybe I need to lighten up a bit and relax and it might help me be me again a bit, like before I had Dd (6)
Do you do that or no drinking?

OP posts:
5128gap · 12/10/2024 23:06

I did exactly the same as you OP and for similar reasons. Never wanted my DC to feel anxious at adults being different. I never lightened up on that and only ever drunk on nights out. Its actually done me a huge favour as it's meant I've never been much of a drinker and I've found it's had real benefits for my health now I'm older. My 3 adult DC never drink in their homes either, though they do socially.

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 12/10/2024 23:06

I don't drink anymore because it all started to make me feel ill, even the smallest of glasses.

But I don't think there's any harm in having a drink in front of children. Neither of my parents are big drinkers at all - never seen either of them drunk or even tipsy, and it did no damage at all to me or my siblings to see them have a glass of wine with dinner.

MonsteraMama · 12/10/2024 23:03

I drink in front of my 16yo, but I don't get drunk in front of her. She's definitely grown up seeing me have a glass of wine here or there but never seen me trollied. There'll be time for getting pissed together when she's grown, for now it's best she sees me as a more or less responsible human being.

Although I will never forget the first time I picked my mam up smashed after a night out. She was sat on the floor outside the pub, insisted on stopping for chips which she then dropped all over my car, tried to give me directions to my own house, and my da had to put her to bed with her clothes still on. The tables turned that night and it was very funny.

FunnysInLaJardin · 12/10/2024 23:03

I dont blame you for not drinking, however we have wine with dinner and I grew up in a household who would drink but very sensibly. I think we have followed their lead

toadlady · 12/10/2024 23:03

Yes but I don't get drunk in front of them. Nothing wrong with a couple in front of the TV. There's a lot I can't do anymore because I'm at home with my dc so I'll be damned if I'm giving up wine too 😂

Dinosweetpea · 12/10/2024 23:01

Yes, I will drink in front of my children, wine with dinner sometimes,.when out for dinner and occasionally in the evening (but would rather wait until they are in bed just so I can relax with a glass.of wine.😀)

MayaPinion · 12/10/2024 23:01

Yes. With dinner at weekends. I have never denied them a taste/glass if they wanted it. They're now 18 and 16 and completely uninterested in it.

OPsSockpuppet · 12/10/2024 23:00

Wishingplenty · 12/10/2024 22:54

I don't drink. It sets a very bad example. I think passed your 20's there is no need really.

There’s no need, but that’s true in your 20s too! Some people like a glass of wine though 🤷‍♀️

ToNiceWithSpice · 12/10/2024 22:56

ToNiceWithSpice · 12/10/2024 22:54

Some times, I occasionally take them out for food and have a drink as well. Mine are older though at 13 and 11. I didn't really drink around them when they were younger but I would have a few when they were in bed

I also have 2 adult dc and they'll occasionally come round and have a drink or have a drink when we go out for food

Lavender14 · 12/10/2024 22:56

I barely drink but I don't see anything wrong with having a glass or two in front of children as long as you're being sensible. Personally I also wouldn't drink if I was the only person responsible for ds so I could drive him in an emergency if I had to.

Singleandproud · 12/10/2024 22:55

I didn't drink at home at all until DD was about 12 as I'm the only adult in the house.

She's in her late teens now and if I get a Dine in for £X will get a bottle of wine that lasts the weekend. DD even asked to try some tonight so gave her a small serving. Otherwise I just tend to drink alcohol free cider which I don't mind DD having and want her to see asking / buying / drinking that to be the norm and I like the taste and find it refreshing. DD is of an age where learning to drink sensibly if you are going to drink at all is a skill that needs teaching.

ToNiceWithSpice · 12/10/2024 22:54

Some times, I occasionally take them out for food and have a drink as well. Mine are older though at 13 and 11. I didn't really drink around them when they were younger but I would have a few when they were in bed

Wishingplenty · 12/10/2024 22:54

I don't drink. It sets a very bad example. I think passed your 20's there is no need really.

angellinaballerina7 · 12/10/2024 22:48

I don’t drink, but I don’t see the harm in a glass in front of them at the weekend. For me that’s not all that different than the Friday night takeaway a lot of people have, like it’s just a treat isn’t it?

I would probably not do more, but that’s my opinion. No judgement on anyone else.