Do you drink in front of your dc?

I have regularly had a glass of wine in the presence of Dc.
Not enough to get drunk but enough to enjoy nice wine with food.
Civilised.
Never occurred to me not to.
But then I didn’t grow up with alcohol being a problem in the home.
They are young adults now and not emotionally scarred or problem drinkers.

Some of my family members are recovering alcoholics.

I have hardly had a drink and started in my mid-20s, get instantly bloated and so tired even from half a glass. Never been drunk in my life.

Now I’m a mum, I don’t drink at all and alhavent for years. DH may have the odd beer but he drinks away from the house but he is sensible about it too. I have no issues.

I think if the approach to alcohol is sensible and not scary to anyone, it’s ok. Some posters wrote how they dreaded family members changing after a few drinks, and I know what that’s like. I think if there are other family members concerned and then there’s a defensive attitude from the drinker, then that’s a problem. The drinker may not realise it at that time. I think it can be a slippery slope.

Yes, occasionally I drank too much but I've brought it back down to a healthier level. I don't think they notice a bottle of wine, if I go out with friends and get drunk they think it's great fun.

😂

@Wishingplenty

what?

I drink when I feel like it, I enjoy it, what more 'need' is there?? Why 20? I'm 55, why shouldn't I enjoy it??

@Nowandforeveridontcare I'm sorry about your Dad, no wonder you feel the way you do, but it's perfectly normal to drink at home, whether your kids are there or not. Your DD isn't going to feel like you did, because you haven't given her reason to. If you act like your Dad did then you need to stop drinking entirely!

I don't drink much but I would absolutely have wine when I go out for dinner or when guests stay.

I've never thought of it as a 'bad example', whereas I definitely would never smoke in front of them (or let them know that I smoked throughout my 20s).

I understand where you are coming from though OP. I think, for you, it isn't alcohol itself, its the association it has for you and the bad memories it evokes. There is an elderly person in my family who I would NEVER offer a drink to as they get drunk and I don't like it.

Because of seeing people drink too much when growing up, and because another family member becomes aggressive when drinking I feel very uneasy with drunk people. I am afraid of their unpredictability.

If you don't want to offer alcohol in your own home, then I think you have valid reasons not to do so.

But if you feel like a glass of wine while watching a movie on the tv then do that. You mentioned that previously you drank a lot. I don't know if you are implying that you had a problem, in which case then I wouldn't start drinking at all.

Otherwise though its fine as long as there is always another adult in the house who can drive in the event of an emergency with one of the children.

I grew up with alcoholic parents, so I share the complex feelings about it. I am happy for DC to see me modelling a healthy, occasional relationship with alcohol.

I can't even imagine a life where DCs never see their parents with a drink.

The only ones I knew like that were ex alcoholics.

My parents had a glass of wine with dinner every night.

I'd never seen my dm drunk though. My dad maybe a bit tipsy at Xmas/NYE/ after the very occasional pub visit.
Mi do t think there's any need to be so puritanical about it. But I understand you sound traumatised from growing up with an alcoholic so that's different.

This seems like a bizarre attitude to me. People enjoy the taste of a glass of wine or whatever. Why should this change when you are past your 20s? It’s not all about getting wasted and going out on the pull like stereotypical uni students. Though you are still entitled to do on occasion even if you are older.

We do - on the weekends, and when we go out as well. Don’t think the children think it’s weird or nothing like that.

I sometimes have a glass of wine at family dinner at the weekend, and I will drink when we go to restaurants or friends/family gatherings in front of them. They are 6. They probably see me drink once a month ish.

My dad was an alcoholic.

Not at home watching TV, but that's because I didn't do that pre DC , the only time I really drink at home is occasionally a glass of wine with dinner, especially if we have guests, summer BBQs, but ds sees me drink if we're out for dinner/at an occasion etc. I wouldn't be drunk because I'd be conscious of keeping an eye on him, but I'm not really a regular drinker anymore, I definitely was in my younger days!

Yes I do, I don't really drink often but have a drink at Xmas and new years im a single parent and I dont drive so I've never factored that part in

Yes, I have always drank alcohol around DDs as I think of it as part of normal life to have a glass of wine with food. Had I grown up around alcohol abuse then I might think differently, but fidtunately none of us have experienced that.

I might have a drink but I hate being drunk. I think it demonstrates you can drink in moderation without being loud, obnoxious or be impaired by it.
That said, if I do drink in front of DC it's maybe once a month, and 99% of the time when DH is home. If an emergency occurred when DH was out, I'd get a taxi as DH would have the car anyway.

I don't drink but I have marijuana. I'm in Canada.

My son is 13 and knows. He also knows his brain won't fully develop until 25 so don't do drugs before then. Hopefully he listens.

I don't like alcohol. It doesn't make me feel good. I've never made a good decision drunk. I have barely drank since I was 20.

Yes, My children gave grown up in pubs.
I had a health visitor appointment in the bar.

Never been a big drinker but I would have a glass of something in front of kids. I think it is better to for them to see you can drink responsibly, it's not taboo or to be hidden and how to have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Sometimes I do wait until they're in bed just because I can relax more then 😅

I'll have a glass of wine with dinner about once a week when PiL are visiting, or if we're out for a meal. I don't get drunk in front of the kids (and tbh hangovers now are so awful I never really get drunk any more)

Yes my DD(4) has seen us have wine or beer (or the occasional cocktail) often. We don't drink much, maybe a couple of times a week, but if we're out at restaurants for lunch with friends we'll almost always have a small glass of beer or wine. I live in a Southern European country where drinking (small) amounts of alcohol with most meals is common, so it never occurred to me not to drink in front of her. Almost all the kids parties we go to serve beer or wine so she'd be exposed to alcohol even if we ourselves weren't drinking!
I think that if you would like to drink (a little) in front of your DD it would be no bad thing. However given your own bad memories of it I can see why you're wary.

My DD is 8 & I have never been ‘drunk’ since before she was born. I have a couple of Proseccos on a Fri/sat but I’m never even tipsy after those. Last night, me & 3 friends took our kids out for dinner & we all had 2/ 3 glasses & still fine. I want her to grow up with a healthy attitude towards alcohol.

We don't tend to drink at home unless we have people round as we can't be bothered but my 5 year old has often seen us have a drink on holiday, or at a restaurant, or with family. I don't think that's abnormal is it? We don't get drunk at these occasions and one of us will normally stick to a glass or two just in case.