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Original poster

To be worried about who im due to marry

81 replies

rorymary · 12/10/2024 20:01

We are getting married in 6months, I'm honestly doubting myself.

We have a young child together, plus a child each from previous relationships. It was all great to start with, even up until after ds was born then the cracks started.

Trouble with his family. His negativity, his influence on my dd, such as swearing and general teasing, in a "jokey" way.

Recently he has been so grumpy and angry, i feel like im walking on eggshells. Not because im scared of him, it's more just to be aware incase i need to stop him swearing out of anger infront of the kids or generally bringing the mood down.

Am i nuts to be marrying him?

Of course there are good things about him, but i honestly struggle to care about them when he gets like this

OP posts:
Ariela · 12/10/2024 23:55

If you need to ask the question, then the answer is NO don't marry!

Italiangreyhound · 12/10/2024 23:49

Please do not stay in am I happy relationship.

GabriellaMontez · 12/10/2024 23:32

Yes you're nuts.

Why are you proceeding?

No one will be surprised if you called it off.

MonsteraMama · 12/10/2024 22:55

If the good doesn't outweigh the bad it's not worth it.

I've been with my husband 18 years and if he started swearing at me or my kid I'd divorce him - you're not even married yet, how much worse do you think he'll get once you're locked in? Why put yourself through the hassle of the inevitable divorce when his behaviour gets too much? It'll be easier to leave now.

neepsa · 12/10/2024 22:54

The thing that stands out to me is ‘teasing your daughter in a jokey way’. I don’t think a grown man teasing a child is jokey, I think it’s low level bullying or emotional abuse that is only going to get worse, particularly as you’ve already said you’re worried about it. Do not marry him for the sake of your child.

Attelina · 12/10/2024 22:54

You'd be an irresponsible fool to marry him.

Italiangreyhound · 12/10/2024 22:50

Listen to your gut.

Sorrelia · 12/10/2024 22:50

Don't marry him. Don't marry him. DON'T MARRY HIM.

ISeriouslyDoubtIt · 12/10/2024 22:48

Don't marry him. He should be making you feel fantastic if it's 6 months before, not feeling like you do now. It's not worth being with someone who doesn't enhance your life, you'd be infinitely better off without him. It's much easier not to marry now, rather than divorce later.

Losingthewill2live · 12/10/2024 22:45

Don’t marry him.
seriously.
You have a gut for this very reason
Its shouting at you!
Pay attention to it 😐

AnnieSnap · 12/10/2024 22:40

Follow you instinct. Don’t marry him.

BettyBardMacDonald · 12/10/2024 22:39

You should have been prioritizing your daughter instead of bringing an angry, abusive man into her vulnerable life, and compounding the situation with another baby. I feel so sorry for her.

Get rid.

SardinesOnGingerbread · 12/10/2024 22:18

Wish I'd listened to my gut telling me pretty much exactly this sort of thing before my first marriage. I exited after I got pregnant, and my second marriage (20+ years in) is great, but I'd rather have sidestepped the divorce part. Good luck.

Abitofalark · 12/10/2024 22:12

"Am i nuts to be marrying him?"

Yes.

Bondiblondie · 12/10/2024 22:11

Nothing worse than an angry man. Or a man that teases children . Don’t marry him, listen to what your gut is saying.

suburberphobe · 12/10/2024 22:10

Anyone teasing my daughter in a "jokey" way wouldn't be seeing me again never mind marrying me.

This!

Your children need you to protect them OP.

Noseybookworm · 12/10/2024 22:10

Definitely don't marry him. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship 😕

BirthdayRainbow · 12/10/2024 22:08

Anyone teasing my daughter in a "jokey" way wouldn't be seeing me again never mind marrying me.

Normallynumb · 12/10/2024 22:04

Do not marry him
The feeling in your gut should be excitement, not anxiety.
Trust your gut

Andwhatfreshhellisthis · 12/10/2024 22:03

rorymary · 12/10/2024 20:01

We are getting married in 6months, I'm honestly doubting myself.

We have a young child together, plus a child each from previous relationships. It was all great to start with, even up until after ds was born then the cracks started.

Trouble with his family. His negativity, his influence on my dd, such as swearing and general teasing, in a "jokey" way.

Recently he has been so grumpy and angry, i feel like im walking on eggshells. Not because im scared of him, it's more just to be aware incase i need to stop him swearing out of anger infront of the kids or generally bringing the mood down.

Am i nuts to be marrying him?

Of course there are good things about him, but i honestly struggle to care about them when he gets like this

It will not improve and don’t marry him. Divorce is hard, harder than being alone. A bad marriage is worse than a divorce.

ClairDeLaLune · 12/10/2024 22:00

Don’t do it OP, those doubts are there for a reason.

TheFormidableMrsC · 12/10/2024 21:57

Nope. You have doubts. Listen to them.

Snowfalling · 12/10/2024 21:49

You should never ever marry someone you have to be on eggshells around. How can it ever get better? It won't.

thequeenoftarts · 12/10/2024 21:47

Don't do it, wish I had listened to my gut, foolishly I ignored it and paid the price

MonkeyToHeaven · 12/10/2024 21:46

If this were my daughter telling me this, I would advise her not to marry.