to be disappointed in this newborn present?

YABU.
I don't think tea and soap are really an amazing gift, from my point of view it is bog standard or even low effort choice, the kind where money can buy you a generic ok gift.

I wouldn't enjoy Shein items either, but if she shops there for her own child, it is just something she considers nice, not an insult

Like you OP, I am also a thoughtful gift giver! I noticed that some people in my life don't appreciate my efforts as well as not reciprocating. I don't mind the not reciprocating but I do mind my effort and time not being valued.

I learnt the hard lesson to only spent my time and energy on people who care for me.

Do you think she meant well?

It sounds like it could’ve been a nice present and probably looked like it was online but then it came and - ew. As others have said, I really don’t expect baby presents for anything past first one though. Most people gave me nothing for my second!

I see your point a little, as most people are upset when they make loads of effort with a friend and it isn't reciprocated. You put a lot of thought in and you don't think she did - which may mean you like her more than she likes you. Etc.

However, to go to the length of starting a thread about it seems a bit extreme. Especially as it's possible your friend might be on here as a new mom and might see this! Some of the details are a bit identifying......

And an awful lot of people put their kids in Shein - when it's so cheap and people have so little money, can you really judge them? Your post does sound pretty judgy, as if everyone is cheerfully wrapping their babies up in toxic shrouds.....

I assume that as long as you had washed it before use it would have been fine for your baby? (NB I am no expert, so if Shein clothing and similar can damage babies skin even after washing I am happy to stand corrected).

It was in fact my understanding that most of the clothes people buy in high street stores comes from the same places as Shein and Temu source their stock.....

In terms of environmental impact, surely you should have given the baby clothes to a charity shop? Binning them seems so wasteful. (Unless, as said above, they truly are dangerous even after washing).

MN never fails to remind you how petty people can be 😂

Yes, a very good point.

What about a lovely message or a phone call/visit.

What did they give for your first baby op?

For your benefit, let negative thinking go. Whoever bought this present had a baby 8 weeks ago, their first baby. They are probably exhausted and their mind is elsewhere. Maybe they don't have (or want to spend) money right now.

So much more going on in your life with a family and new baby to let this be an issue.

Just because it's from shein doesn't mean they put 0 effort in. Perhaps they are strapped for cash and thought it looked nice. There are lots of things I think are vile for babies but they seem popular. just because I think something looks awful doesn't mean someone else agrees with me. I was given lots of things I thought were totally impractical, not my taste or the wrong size but I smiled politely, said thanks and donated to charity. Your making it a big deal when it doesn't have to be. Why stew on it? Either tell them and expect to lose a friendship or move on from it. Its been months already

She didn't receive a baby like present, she carried it and gave birth to it with great effort! That is usually acknowledged between family and friends as an even that deserves congratulations. The gift isn't for the mother it's for the baby, to welcome them to the world.

It's very normal that's hen someone has a baby there's a whip round at work and people buy gifts, if it's a friend you make her a little gift bag, something for the baby something for her as a congratulations.

How is it unusual to you that there should be gifts when a baby is born? It's basically a cultural norm.

The only way you could be reasonable annoyed by this would be if it was your first and their third baby. They're already two gifts into your reproductive efforts- no one can keep reasonably expecting lavish gifts for multiple kids!

Well I wouldn't blame her after all let's be honest it literally took no effort at all to chuck some baby bits in the trolley with the weekly shop.

It was a crap gift, but at least she tried to reciprocate.

You do realise that your very own sister/others might judge you for buying her baby stuff from Asda right?

This.

I don't think you should get an inferior present just because it is your third child. If someone had just given me a lovely present I'd make sure I'd reciprocate in kind! If I couldn't afford to I would at least put some thought into it. Third child present you can still get nice bath stuff, something personalised or snacks and booze for parents.

Obviously not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Some people are just not great gift givers. When they have another kid you'll know to scale down a bit.

A lot of Shein stuff genuinely isn’t safe

When the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation had 38 pieces of children’s clothing tested from the ultra-fast-fashion brands Zaful, AliExpress, and Shein, it found that one in five had elevated levels of toxic chemicals such as lead, PFAS, and phthalates.

No - you mentioned how much you spent for a reason. And I say that as someone who does not buy anything from Shein. They might not know how unethical Shein is/ thought it was a nice gift/ really liked to outfit??

Smile, accept the gift and then donate to charity if you want. Like many, many people do with unwanted gifts. Starting this thread just makes you sound like an ungrateful snob.

This is one where if what you're saying is true that it's irrelevant you spending £100 in comparison to their lower spend, then it's the thought that counts. They thought of your child and gave a gift, which missed the mark for you. Lots of people are happy to use Shein products for their babies. They wouldn't have know you don't like it. They bought something with you and your baby in mind even though it wasn't something you like.

I assume since you spent so much time and money on their gift you are close with them, so I'm not sure why you aren't giving them the benefit of the doubt here. It's very unlikely they gave you the gift with malice.

And I bet you weren't still nursing a grudge about it months later, to the extent that you needed to ask a bunch of strangers if your feelings about it were valid.
I don't like Shein. I don't like Soap & Glory either. It doesn't matter. Everyone gets a mis-judged present from a friend at some point in life. OP should just let it go. Value the friendship, not the gift

I didn't realise there was any expectation of being given a present (except perhaps from your partner) just because you have had a baby, especially if it is your third baby . Yet another intrusion of consumerism into something more important.
How miserable to be preoccupied with something so pointless when you have just received an actual wonderful baby.

if they bought it online, maybe they didn't inspect close up - or they use shein themselves so weren't surprised at the (lack of) quality.
if you didn't want to use it, you could have donated it to a charity shop rather than bin it.

You're saying there was no effort put into the gifts... I'm sorry but I find that to actually be a really rude assumption. Maybe they browsed and browsed and saw that towel and body suit and thought "awww isn't that sweet, that'll look so cute for Mysticalgardens' baby!"

Lots of people use Shein (clearly, otherwise it wouldn't be doing so well). I don't see why you see it as being any worse than Asda.

The polyester/smell issue... it smacks of snobbery on your part, to be honest. Some people don't have any awareness of quality of materials, either because they've never been able to afford good quality, or it's just not something they've ever given any thought to. It doesn't mean they didn't put any effort into choosing the gift.

I do also think there’s a social rule that you should reciprocate effort.

I had some ex friends who had their first baby and I bought them a beautiful present that they clearly loved as they posted a lot of photos of it; it was in the background of a lot of pictures of the child in their room, commented on it. They had another child, I didn’t spend as much but also got them something beautiful.

I had my first DD a year or so later and they gave me some toy metal cars from the charity shop, heavily used, old box etc. Not like “vintage”; but old rejected toy cars. These friends weren’t poor, they were cheap.

They had a third baby and I didn’t give them anything, they even made a point to send me their new home address several times after this baby was born.

We’ve drifted apart now, but it just made me think of them as both cheap and grabby at the time.

I do think you need to match tone / thought if not expense.

I can imagine how well that would have gone down with OP. ‘I spent well over £100 and they just got me some shit from Asda, which they probably just threw in with the weekly shop. After all the thought and care I put into all the ‘glory stuff’ I got for them! How dare they!’