I feel like a single parent

the op said he did everything around the house? Aside from the laundry

and he works full time

So whilst awful that he’s not being involved with his baby

perhaps he feels like he’s hopeless looking after a newborn but what he can do… provide financially and pick up everything aside from laundry - he will

I read it as HE does the cooking too, OP seems to only do the laundry and look after the baby. No wonder he wants to lie in if he's basically doing everything, as well as holding down a job.
The OP says she's feeling resentful he doesn't spend much time with the baby, but maybe he took feels resentful that he goes off to work then comes home to clean, cook and all household duties, except for the washing.

I guess people are just trying to say it could be harder and he's actually doing a lot? It's just not how OP would like the split. So all is not lost. There is hope.

I was a single parent with a newborn at home, plus another older sibling - ffs just leave the OP alone. If you can't understand that Op is feeling overwhelmed and then just scroll on by

mine slept through the night at a month old and was a dream baby - just because I was a single mum didn't mean it was all difficult

It's shit and I sympathise, but single parents don't get their cleaning done and often don't get their household paid for.

@ThePinkBiscuit the way I read it is she does the cooking and laundry. I think a load of people are missing that. He does the cleaning around the house but she does the clothes and cooking. She's saying she doesn't care about that as in it's not contributing to her resentment.

the OP has explained her "single parent" comment and explained that she's just feeling overwhelmed. Maybe everyone could lay off her now? It isn't helping.

heads up Op

i wouldn’t say this is how you feel to any of your friends who are single parents

you don’t care about the cooking and cleaning? That, OP, is because it’s being done by your partner.

If it wasn’t, you would care!

Hi op, congrats on the baby. If you're not happy with the set up you need to communicate that. Explain what you need to your husband. Make him know how important it is. I say that as someone who didn't. Resentments built. Weve since split up and I regret not shouting from the rooftops about what I needed. He didn't develop the skills needed to look after a baby and then the baby became a toddler who didn't ever want him. Good luck.

I don't think it's unnecessary at all. It's quite an insulting thing to say and people have the right to explain why.

From baby's point of view she only needs you for the best part of the first year and doesn't even realize you are different entities yet.

Dad's often come into their own once baby's are older. In terms of brain chemistry mums and baby's both get an oxytocin hit when mum nurtures (that doesn't just mean does all the grunt work, but hugs, being held, skin to skin. Etc), whereas children and dads get the same hit when dads play with them and it doesn't happen the other way around.

So dad not being massively involved from that point of view is not the end of the world at the moment particularly if he is pulling his weight elsewhere. However, what does matter is whether you are feeling supported and getting enough down time to rest and recharge and whether he is happy to get involved if directed or whether he kicks up a fuss. It may be that he doesn't want to do it wrong or it isn't coming naturally to him as he is doing that side of things less often so needs some reassurance and practise. Perhaps both look and see if there is a dad and baby group going on or whether he and any of his friends with similar aged babys could get together and take them for a walk (I think there's a similar dad group in the film What to expect when you're expecting).

You pushed him out into the spare room for good reason, but that hasn't worked out

I would suggest you sit down and talk to him, communicate that you both need to evaluate the situation and ask him first how you think you can move forward.

You could put the Moses basket in the spare room with him tonight so you can get an entire nights sleep, then suggest you seep in the same room on week nights and weekends you get a night each I the spare room to catch up on sleep

Pardon me for listing things that a genuine single parent has to do. Now, you do you.

Good idea to try and change it now. Before you know it, you’ll be like me, 8 years down the road and my husband has never given her a bath or even taken her to bed. Never.

Other people managed to make that point without launching into a full tirade about how wrong she was. Only you did that.

No one implied she was being malicious at all. I understand the title and original post might've been poorly worded on OP's behalf, but you can forgive people telling her that her situation is no where near what it's like to be completely parenting alone.

I mean, if no one spoke up then how do you think genuine single parents would feel reading 'I feel like a single parent', then describing how she has a partner (who works and provides an income, as well as doing most household chores), but he doesn't spend as much time with the baby as she'd like?

It takes away the meaning of being a single parent.

I Agree with this. Otherwise he’ll be like a stranger to his dd

Yeah, but the thrust of her point is that she feels lonely and that she isn't sharing the experience of parenting. It's a poorly phrased but not malicious representation of her situation.

It's in AIBU, it's called "I feel like a single parent" I think it's fair enough to point out she might feel like one but she isn't one and she has benefits from her partner that a single parent doesn't get.

That's your opinion. I have mine too, and it's not down to you to suggest how and where I post. If the OP only wanted responses from everyone agreeing with everything she'd written, then AIBU isn't the best place to post.
I haven't been rude to the OP either, so why not get off your high horse ?

It's ranting. It's unnecessary. You could start your own thread about people using the phrase flippantly on your own thread. But what you are doing here is kicking someone when they're down.

And I for one, as a single parent, also wish people wouldn't say the old 'i feel like a single parent' line, when they've absolutely no idea what actually being a single parent entails!
What's more, it isn't 'ranting' to give an opinion. After all, the OP posted on AIBU, so she is inviting people's opinions. I think she should consider herself lucky that she has a partner who does the lions share of the house work, on top of working.

Yanbu to to redress the balance and have a conversation but yabu to say you feel like a single parent when you actually do have support around the house. Being a single parent means you are doing it all alone, having done it it grinds my gears when people throw that around tbh

So he works full time and does everything around the house and you’re annoyed that he gets to have a lie in on weekends?

I think you’re being quite selfish actually.

Are you BF?
Why are you not doing the cooking and cleaning whilst he’s at work?

I think you need to start doing more around the house and then you will have more of a right to ask for a lie in.

It sounds like you’ve just fallen into a routine.

Perhaps have a chat and create a new plan of you doing the cooking and cleaning and him giving you a lie in on Sunday mornings.