To decline to answer what school my child goes to?

@EvangelicalAboutButteredToast I'm surprised you find that funny tbh

These threads give me the biggest eye roll

@TheYearOfSmallThings it's stated in the OP though that it's also for safety reasons. OP mentions her dc has additional support needs but doesn't say that they are at a special school

When you pick him up from school do you go via the back entrance, set up a privacy tunnel that ferries him out into a car with blacked out windows and then drive him home, perhaps with a couple of other decoy cars so that if you’re followed people will be confused as to which one is carrying him. Then once home, get home out into the house under a giant sheet so that no one can see his uniform at any point?

Honestly if you're not going to tell I would just lean into it like "ah for safety reasons that's something we have to keep private. Hey I remember last time I was in here you said you were off to Barbados this summer. How was it?"

I think this at least would put someone's mind into child in care, adoption, domestic violence issues etc and most people would drop it and understand.

I think the "I don't want to disclose" without reason is actually so much more mysterious and people will talk more and think of it as a fun thing to try and solve.

A lot of people who have never had any safeguarding experience don't think of those things straight away, so if you specifically mention safety then at least hopefully that stops it becoming fun gossip.

You'll also look quite a lot less odd.

I think many of the people posting haven't seen this. There is no security reason not to tell your hairdresser what school your child goes to, but if you aren't comfortable discussing their special needs, fair enough.

You probably need a better way to avoid answering though, if you don't want her speculating what you are hiding.

Yeah I agree, precious and attention seeking.

"Is it weird to just say I prefer to keep his personal information private when someone asks?"

Saying that would be weird, yes.

But just changing the subject to avoid answering the question would be absolutely fine.

"Oh, just the local school, so they are with all their friends." Then change the topic.

OP, I don’t have kids but I understand your worries totally. I think posters are being really harsh. It is difficult when you are in a small place, people will likely be able to guess anyway.

I am really funny about telling people where I work and tend to just keep it vague! Even with keeping it vague, a man on OLD once was able to guess where I worked and showed up once.

I'm guessing those who are answering "oh just tell them, it's not a state secret" are not in Northern Ireland or some parts of the west of Scotland.

If you answer what school did you go to with " Our lady of the Holy tights" and the questioner is a militant protestant loyalist expect to be called "a fucking Fenian hoor". Or as a friend former armed forces overheard in the officers mess "Harrow - you went to Harrow, all special needs (he did not use these words) and enjoying homosexual congress with each other (he didn't put it quite like that).

Why not say "the local school" and change the subject - "oh is that a red squirrel over there?"

Honestly nobody actually cares! They are making conversation or trying to make a connection with you.

@ChocChipPancake

I'm a safeguarding specialist and I can assure you that tell g your hairdresser that your dc is at x school is not a risky activity!

General advice for social media is to only post to true friends and family not "followers". These would be influencers posting to thousands, most of whom they do not know blur the school name so people don't know where they live, not the same. Celebrities blurring faces or shots from behind is also advisable but not necessary for my 46 Facebook friends all of which I see in real life!

That's because there are online predators as you have no control who sees the pic once it is online.

People you are talking to irl are likely not to ve online predators- your hairdresses is unlikely to seek out your child.

Agree

It should be a concern now

I think the photo thing is different and also the people blurring the logo should not be putting pictures up at all if they're concerned about privacy.

A big issue with images of a child being public is that they can end up in the hands of child predators, and if one takes a liking to a child then they already have information about them that can help get access to them. What school they go to, information from social media about you and your family which can be used to build trust.

It's the reason I don't like seeing vloggers on YouTube including their children. It's easy for weirdos to form parasocial relationships and think they know or have some kind of connection with the child they watch.

Compare that to a hairdresser who you have chosen to go to and are engaged in polite conversation with. She had no idea who your child is or any reason to take an interest in him to kidnap him. If she were some sort of child predator on the hunt for victims at random then she could just go anywhere and pick the first child she sees. Why, in this situation, would she target your child out of all the kids?

Safeguarding is also being aware of and reporting factors which could impact the health and wellbeing of a child, minor or vulnerable adult and isn't just "privacy ".

Potentially posting our kids all over the internet en masse without their consent could in itself be a concern in years to come

Yes, some people have no boundaries when it comes to asking other people personal questions.

I’ve got DC with SEN and I’ve had acquaintances and random strangers ask me some very intrusive questions when it’s come up in conversation. So if OP’s DS is at a special school and she doesn’t want to risk an interrogation about it I understand that.

Although as PP’s have said, a flat out refusal to say the schools name is unusual and will generate more curiosity and speculation, so if I didn’t want to talk about where my DC goes to school, I’d be inclined to find ways to divert the conversation away from schools, or just lie about where he goes to school.

That’s the thing. The hairdresser doesn’t need to know, it’s called small talk. She doesn’t care. It’s part of human interaction, or have people forgotten how to socialise with people these days. This is also not a stranger on the street, but a hairdresser who are paid to cut your hair and make small talk. Pretty sure that she doesn’t care where OP’s son goes to school and would have forgotten before the next customer arrived. She won’t forget the woman who refused to tell her

But is your child's photo being used for disgusting purposes? Can you be sure?

Exactly. And paedophiles do all manner of disgusting things with photos of kids. Blurring out a school logo isn't going to stop that.