Handhold - unplanned pregnancy

It doesn't sound like you're certain your marriage is going to survive, regardless as to whether there is another child into the mix.
It's a damned if you do (keep it), damned if you don't situation, which makes your decision making even harder.

Get him told, let him mull it over for as long as he needs to, expect him to be shocked, just as you were.
You can't possibly decide what to do until he has had his input, which needs to be sooner rather than later.

I know this is shutting the the stabledoor late but just in case it saves anybody else. If periods have stopped and then start again then you will have ovulated before that first period. So just because your period has stopped for whatever reason, other than being pregnant of course, don't assume you can't conceive. A gynecologist explained this to me in excruciating detail many years ago.

I would definitely defend that decision, if it came to it, and I would be neither constrained nor constructive in what I said.

I know I'm just reiterating what others have said but it bears repeating - you were both having unprotected sex with each other so are equally responsible for conception occurring.

Do not go into this as "I'm so sorry this happened" as it was his fault as much as yours - and if he does respond poorly, it's worth waiting for him to calm down then pointing out this obvious fact!

Excuse me? Your husband doesn’t want a baby, so why exactly is he content to have unprotected sex with you?

If a divorce is likely, then don’t go ahead.
Unless you can be single parent for 50 /50 of the time to 3 children.
He needs a vasectomy.

I think some of the advice here is really good- especially not thinking of it as an apology or something you’ve done. Have a team mindset as you both caused this and can both address it.
and also the advice about allowing him to process before discussing- don’t react to his initial response. Perhaps make sure he is told at a time when he can have space and then agree a discussion time…
But if the marriage is Rocky be aware that either version of the outcomes could destroy it if you don’t talk and listen to each other and make a decision as a couple.

Sorry you are going through this OP, but it takes two to tango. You've done this together and he has to take as much responsibility as you. This may, of course, mean that you don't agree, but you need to work it through together. Don't get too stuck on an option being or not being for you, until you know his views too.

Then your existing family setup will likely have to be put first.
Sorry.

Child free woman here, OP. I don't need to spell out what I'd do, but never got myself into this situation.
You say your husband is likely to be unhappy and that marriage has been rocky.
It's very difficult. Keeping the child is not gonna make it less unstable, however, would there be a possibility to go this alone? If not, better not to have another, in my opinion. Your body, your choice, but support is going to be needed in either way. Is he going to provide it?
🍀

You just have to tell him asap OP. And then talk it through as a couple.

Sometimes I think its unfair when one person is breaking bad news and has a few days to process, but the other person is caught unawares and yet their initial reaction is observed and then analysed and criticised. What I'm saying is tell him then let him be for a while after you break the news, a couple of hours or a day so he can sort out his thoughts and feelings. Then meet a day or two later for a proper chat. You might go round in circles before coming to a conclusion on how you really feel so he needs that time too. It hasn't happened to me but I know many people with unplanned pregnancies who were initially upset but realised it was a blessing after all once they had some time.

Should have worn his overcoat then shouldn’t he? He has no right to be angry at all.

OP stop blaming yourself, it takes two to tango and if your DH was that worried about another pregnancy, he could have used condoms! Talk to him but don't accept him blaming you. If the relationship is rocky, having a termination or having a baby won't make a difference - the relationship will only survive if both of you want it to and are willing to stick together through the rough patches. Please don't struggle with trying to work this out alone, talk to your husband. Ultimately, it's your body and you have to do what feels right for you.

He needs to take some responsibility for this pregnancy, he knew you weren’t on contraception and didn’t use any either even although he doesn’t want another baby, so you are both to blame for the situation,

just tell him and then deal with it together.

Why would it be at the cost of your other children? Children gain a lot from having
siblings.
if you don’t want the baby then don’t have it, but plenty of people have a third baby and it doesn’t disadvantage the older two.

Remember this is 50% on him too, he's been having unprotected sex knowing he doesn't want another baby.

If you don't want an abortion, don't have one OP. And don't be fearful of telling DH, this is his equal fault/problem and you need to make sure he knows it and blames himself too.

I really would not go for a private scan beforehand as it’s clear you have been keeping it from him.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her parents gave him a stern talking to in the end as she absolutely didn’t want to terminate. The baby is now 13 and pushing 6 feet and apple of his eye and they are fine.
all sorts of outcomes are possible but don’t terminate a baby you would like to have. As others have said it takes two to make a baby.

Book a private scan and find out how far along you are this weekend, at least you'll have a bit more to go on when you tell DH