To take my toddler to my growth scan? No childcare.

Well I would have just taken my child. Surprised everyone has been so vitriolic about the subject.

And if no staff volunteer?

OP I really feel for you. At the hospital I work at there is an absolute rule set by the radiography sept of no children in obstetric scans. We do not have the same rule in midwifery for appointments.

Very occasionally someone brings their toddler along. The sonographers get very grumpy, raise hell, and then one of the midwives offers to babysit for the 12-15 of the scan. We sit and do colouring with them or whatever. They sit with us in our office. It’s fine.

Midwives are, of course, not babysitters. But most of us are also mums and most of us have been in your situation too. If in doubt, throw yourself at the mercy of a midwife. I have never known a consultant refuse to see a woman because she has a toddler in tow. So if nothing else, go for your obstetric appt. It will be pointless without the growth scan info, but you will be highlighting a need.

very good luck x

It would help if the NHS didn't randomly change scheduled scans. I had my growth scans booked in straight after my 20 week scan, booked extra childcare to fit, then 2 days before the planned scan they rescheduled to a different location at school pick up time (same day,) making the acquisition of childcare even more complicated.

Funnily enough they let me bring my then 3 year old when I pointed out that I had booked childcare for the original time and the lack of notice of the new appointment.

I feel for you OP sounds like a tough situation, ignore the negative replies.

My DH has to work a lot but luckily I have parents/in-laws nearby who are often on hand. I often wonder how on earth I’d manage in similar situations without them, I’d be screwed frankly and I feel for women without this.

It’s so hard to try and build a support ‘network’ away from family nowadays. You only have to read mumsnet threads about friends/school mums/acquaintances asking for a favour or some help and all the replies of ‘no is a full sentence’, ‘you don’t have to justify yourself, simply not wanting to is good enough’, ‘you need to assert and protect your boundaries’ It’s no wonder some women are just stuck.

I hope you can find a solution ❤️

I had a similar situation and had to take my child. They wouldn’t allow him in the room but they kindly let him sit in the staff room with 2 hospital staff that were on a break. He watched his tablet and they chatted to him. The scan only took 10 mins so it was fine. He had a great time and the staff were very kind and seemed happy to chat away to him for 10 mins.

I took my two year old to the scans. Nobody thought to tell me beforehand it wasn’t allowed or write it in any of the enormous amount of guff I was given to read. The sonogropher was abit funny for like two mins and then just got over it. He was like the toddler could break all the very expensive equipment I replied he is strapped in a pram that’s impossible then he tried he might see something on the screen and I replied face him the other way. Finally he said I might have to say something negative to which I replied well you can write it down or we can put him in the corridor with a nurse of your choosing. He did the scan no bother. They did write it all over my notes though. It just says please don’t bring your child to a scan like 1000 times. Good luck.

It’s just the reality though 🤷‍♀️. Better to find out now. It’s a medical procedure after all

What l personally love is when people ask on here about not having childcare for the birth. Then ask if staff will look after child 1 🤣🤣🤣. No. NHS staff are on their knees and don’t have the capacity (or insurance, training etc)

Oh god OP I’m sorry everyone is being so harsh, I’m a midwife so I know how short notice these appointments can be and how inflexible admin staff can be too. Our trust says ideally don’t bring kids and if the child is difficult at the appointment the sonographer might get you to rebook. But in my experience most young children just sit there bewildered with the whole thing and don’t cause any bother.

I think your 2 options are bring your child and hope for the best, or ring the hospital and say these are the days my child is in nursery, this is my only availability, if you can’t make this work then I can’t come, you’d be surprised what appointments they can find then.

I don’t agree at all with other posters essentially asking you to find emergency childcare with someone you hardly know, that just isn’t appropriate. Good luck.

Every single friend / neighbour / other childcare option you have is away on holiday all the same time? Really?

Op this is nonsense, I’m 36 weeks pregnant and throughout my wait for every appointment I’ve been in I’ve seen at least one pregnant mum in the waiting room with their LO and have took them in. Whether it’s a scan, consultant app, bloods or midwife app. They had something to entertain them, no body batted an eyelid in the waiting room and I doubt midwives, drs or scanners would have either.

Take your little one, worst case they send you home! You tried to cancel it! In my view they are being unreasonable.

I think I may have been a bit harsh OP, I apologise. It must be a shit situation to be in. I hope it works out for you.

I get that but if they cancel her appointment because she CANT get childcare then it’s possible that sometime will go missed and she won’t get adequate care in a timely manner. Obviously not good to have bad news with a toddler there but surely that is preferable to not getting the news at all and having terrible consequences from that?

Can you ask another parent at your daughter's nursery to watch her for an hour or have her for a playdate? (this does assume it's not smack in the middle of the working day).
You have my sympathies, we have almost no network and zero family nearby and I think people can struggle to understand that. I'd happily help another nursery mum out in these circumstances.

Happy to see that you are taking her, I think that you should! However no I don’t think it is good if they cancel or rearrange. They have said you need this scan and to see a consultant within 7 days therefore that is what you need, toddler or no toddler. If they refuse to see you I would ask for it in writing and make it very clear that if there is a problem that goes missed because they are refusing to see you when you have turned up on time for your appointment and have explained your circumstances you will take further action.

Hey, why don’t you call and tell them you can only do it on the two days your daughter is in nursery? If it’s within 7 days of a certain date surely that covers a day she is at nursery, therefore you have childcare. They said they can’t really cancel, and you can’t go with your toddler, so they’ll have to try and fit you in on those days?

My toddler came to more than one scan as well. Nobody batted an eyelid. Doctor gave him an unplugged blood pressure monitor to press the buttons on to amuse him. Waiting room had toys in it like a standard GP because siblings were expected.

There's no consistency about it OP I'm afraid which doesn't help.

I understand how tricky it is but one of the reasons they don’t allow children in is because there are obviously sadly times when scans show up health issues etc and it wouldn’t be appropriate for other children to be there. Might be worth looking into a childminder?

I took my toddler to most of my scans no issue. I had private care and birth but the point is that as long as you know they can sit there quietly then to shouldn’t be a problem. Especially when you have no other choice.

I disagree with everyone saying you can’t bring her, and I am a healthcare professional who would definitely prefer children weren’t at appointments HOWEVER given they have said you NEED this scan within 7 days and to see a consultant it is presumably very important that you do. I would phone them back and say you have literally no one to watch toddler and ask what they suggest. If you need to take toddler to the appointment that is what you do. If they refuse to see you, ask them for it in writing. You deserve adequate health care even if you can’t get childcare. Some people just do not understand that sometimes people do have NO ONE to call in these situations. Obviously it’s not ideal having children at health appointments for various reasons but there needs to be some flexibility to ensure people are kept safe. You and your unborn baby shouldn’t be put at risk because they would rather a toddler isn’t in the room.

👏 you go OP. You've got a lot of grief and I'm not even sure why.

Honestly have never heard of it happening in a hospital! Didn’t think it was allowed.

Hi OP. This sounds like a really tough situation, and I’m not sure why you’re getting so much vitriol in the replies! I am pregnant with number three and had to go for an urgent scan last week. Took my youngest (1yo) - it didn’t even cross my mind not to.

I think it meaning if child in nursery, an extra morning, as is usually the case when working and having a toddler. Unless of course lucky enough to having them looked after by family, which not all can.