To delete my alcoholic mums shopping delivery?

Will she kick off at the delivery person if you take the alcohol off the order?

Substitute it with milk ?

My exh is a nasty selfish alcoholic too. I got away
But..your mum. Its heartbreaking

Print the order and send it to her gp.

I'm so sorry OP, but your mother is very likely to keep drinking now for the rest of her life. If the pain and stress of alcohol related illness weren't enough for her to resist being pulled back in, nothing you can do is going to stop her. Miracles sometimes happen and people do manage to recover, but given her history, I think its sensible to try to accept that she won't. I'm sure you know as well as anybody that you can't force the cure, and you really don't want to be spending your time monitoring and policing her. It's a fools errand and will hurt you badly. You should look after you. Hold on to and protect your own wellbeing and sobriety.

You can't control her. If she wants it, she'll find a way. She has to want to stop.

She abandoned you, was a shitty mother and now you feel responsable for her? No way OP, focus on the good people in your life and take care of yourself.❤️

I would leave her to it. Absolutely shameful of her to blame you for her relapse - that total denial of responsibility for her own actions that is so typical of alcoholics.

You have done so well to get sober yourself. I know this is heartbreaking but she will only drag you down. You can't save her.

I don't know if this would help you, but for me learning about the neuroscience perspective of addiction really helped me. Essentially the idea that if people drink enough, for long enough (how much depends on the person and their experiences) that it starts to rewire the brain. Like pathways in a wood, some pathways become wider and stronger, others are underused and start to disappear. Someone who has developed a chronic addiction gets to the point that they're no longer really making choices. Alcohol/the addiction is making the choice. It takes over the thinking, the decision making. It takes charge of everything.

That isn't to say addiction is hopeless - as you know there are some people who can move past it - but the odds are stacked, and not everyone can/will. But thinking about how addiction changes those thought patterns, changes the wiring, so to speak, helped me to accept why my mum was behaving in a way that harmed others, and herself, when it was against all logic, and against values and beliefs previously held. It helped me stop trying to push her to make the right 'choice' when I accepted that to her, it wasn't a choice. Telling her to stop drinking when she was alcohol dependent was as logical as telling her to stop breathing air.

Your attempts to intervene will not work. She can just change the password and make another order.

you have to step back and accept that she is allowed to drink herself to death if she wants.

We can’t control our parents. No matter how old we get, it hurts that they don’t want to be sober for us. It hurts that they don’t want to be healthy so we can have a good, long relationship. You have to accept that pain and learn to let it be only a small part of your identity.

You can remove the alcohol only.
But she’ll find another place to order from - like Amazon

It's heartbreaking but until a alcoholic accepts they have a problem and wants help, there is absolutely nothing you can do and you'll exhausted yourself trying.

Cancelling it won't make a bit of difference. Alcoholics in active addiction will always find a way to get more alcohol.

Congrats on your own sobriety. I wish more people had your success.

It's an awful situation for you. I'm wondering if the place she's ordered from will email her to say she's changed/cancelled the delivery so she'll probably just reorder.

The problem is your Mum is lying to you. My own Mum called me from the hospital, drunk and said she wasn't drinking and begged me to ask the nurses to let her leave. Days later she was in a coma and died. I think the worst thing for me was the lying. You have to take a step back for your own sake. She'll continue to drink if that's what she wants to do and she'll lie to you to do so. Nothing you say will make a difference. If it could my Mum would still be here. My words weren't enough. Seeing my daughters wasn't enough. It's heartbreaking but you're not responsible for her. She should do better for your sake. Alcoholics are selfish people and they hurt everyone around them enormously.

It won't stop her, it will probably stress her out, and if she works out it was you may cause her to blame you for all sorts of things.

But it definitely will not stop her. Nothing but her own desire to stop and will power will actually stop her.

She'll just change her password and order more surely. But yanbu to want her to stop. I don't even know her and I want her to stop too.

Cancel it/don't cancel it. It doesn't matter. My Mum was an alcoholic. She died in July from alcohol related causes. At that stage she couldn't get herself to the shops so a neighbour was buying her booze. Where there is a will there is a way. As a former alcoholic you must know that. Do whatever gives you peace but ultimately it won't help unless she wants to change. I'm sorry, it's awful.

you can't cancel it but you can be there when it arrives....

So very sorry to read this, it must be heartbreaking. I really don’t think you should cancel the order, firstly because there is a risk that if she stops drinking suddenly, she could become acutely unwell very quickly and start fitting. Secondly, she has to want to stop for herself- you could stop Tesco delivering, but there are more ways than ever to get alcohol delivered. Cutting her off, however tempting, won’t force her to stop and may lead her to isolate herself from you.

No you shouldn't cancel it, it might not even be safe for her to stop drinking so abruptly. She needs professional support but she also needs to be ready and willing to engage with it too. Until then there sadly isn't much you can do.

Trouble is, you know as do I that you can't cancel it. If she's been drinking that much then she can't go cold turkey. It is so so hard, but you can't control this.
I suggest you tell her you know she's drinking, that you're there to help when she's ready and keep in touch with her and her sisters. I'm so sorry for you, I hope for the best.

Don't cancel it. If she is drinking two bottles a day average and she goes without she would be at risk of seizures. Also as you've said she will do whatever she can to find an alternative..

We had the same situation with my mum many years back. When my brother tried to reduce the amount of alcohol he was picking up for her in her shopping, we found she was asking random people near her flats to go to the shop for her, some of whom exploited her financially. She also fell down the stairs of the flat block because she'd tried to go out to buy alcohol. She wasn't meant to go out on her own as she had nerve damage in her legs, but refused to use any walking aid because she 'didn't have a problem'.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's very tempting to try and police her, but cancelling the order could be genuinely dangerous, however well intentioned.