Am I out of practice or was this a weird discussion with manager?

I've seen this sort of thing before and unfortunately it was the early stages of the road to pushing someone out.

I'd bet you are a lawyer. This kind of toxic gas-lighting shit is prevalent in law.

'they knew I was highly capable and still working my way up on the return from mat leave…

This is what I mean. You've been back 6 months. How long do you think it will be until you're firing on all cylinders?

I don't think it sounds like they are trying to manage you out though. It's just a review. But ask for further clarification if you're unsure.

Reading between the lines - you've had your 'getting back in the swing of it' (6 months), grace period, you're 'steadily improving' and this now needs to change.

I suspect the work/life and robust thing relates to this grace period and the level you should be working at now; not time out of the office or family distractions. Bluntly: you've been back six months, your work isn't at the standard it should be and we need to be able to give you more projects/tasks in line with the responsibility of your role and the business growth plans, and you don't seem ready.

That's my take. Hope it doesn't sound too harsh! Just my interpretation of what you've written.

I would have another chat. Say you've 'reflected' on the feedback and would appreciate some examples so you can understand it further.

@waitingforthebus what do you mean by “manage out”? I feel like this term has multiple meanings and is misunderstood.

To manage someone out may not be constructive dismissal, in my view, though you mention that in your post. Managing out can simply be following rules/policies. It’s generally a long, drawn out approach. It can take months or years to be able to safely dismiss someone and make sure you’ve covered your back.

I think constructive dismissal is more serious as that’s essentially bullying someone into resigning so you don’t have to go through the hassle of managing someone out.

I don’t agree with the other posters on here. I don’t think you should copy HR into an email. They’re not going to be concerned with the manager having this discussion with you, in fact it may be considered good practice that they have taken an informal approach with you first. Your manager is not going to get in trouble. However your manager may or may not have approached HR about you already. If they have, HR are likely to have given your manager advice and will be in support of them. If not, you’re just giving your manager an opportunity to discuss you with HR who will likely support your manager. There doesn’t seem to be a net benefit for you.

The person you need to contact is a union representative.

OP, they're getting their ducks in a row to manage you out. The signs are all there. Telling you about your weaknesses (which you need to document and refute) and also sharing about a new direction of the company. When they notice things they will come back to this meeting eg "you r left twice this week early because DD was ill. We understand that these things happen but as we said in the previous meeting this isn't the first time and it's a pattern". If you're up for a fight dig your heels in and sting them for constructive dismissal. If you're not, leave.

I’m a manager too. I think your manager seems concerned about poor performance. I’m not saying they’re trying to get rid of you - it all seems like it is in early stages. It seems like they’re trying to informally tackle the problem and give you the opportunity to improve. They’re informing you of an issue. They’re trying to give you feedback and nip whatever in the bud. Nothing may come of this.

generally speaking if informal action doesn’t work, they could then progress to formally tackling the problem in future. Again, not saying that is their intention.

It seems like your perspective on things is different to theirs. How much do you have in writing eg are your childcare commitments authorised, are they listed as temporary or subject to review? Is it time for it to be reviewed? What is your work output compared to others/previous to your maternity leave? Is the quality there? Are they aware of your circumstances/support you may need? It sounds like they think you’re struggling.

Ask for examples as you’d like to be clear on where and how to improve

Definitely request another meeting to go over the points that you weren't clear on. Ask them to clarify and give examples and follow up with an email to recap what is said afterwards so it's all on record.

My thoughts exactly! Join a union if you're not already in one, And start getting things in writing.
BTW even if your company does not recognise a union, you can be in one Anna they can support you if needed.

the kind of professional environment where you keep time sheets for charge out purposes?

If not, start logging the hours you work, which from what you've said is more hours than you are paid for, and all the 'off' or discriminatory sounding comments the twat is making - may come in useful if it ends up as constructive dismissal.

What is it that you do & what sort of company is it?

soemtimes, it's just the manager being odd.

It sounds like they want to send more work your way but you're not available to do it either due to being slow at what you're doing or because you are distracted with the baby.

I'm assuming that everything in your post came up during the meeting - so what I would do is send a follow up meeting to your manager (and HR?) showing what you understood was said, and asking for more clarification on the things that are unclear. I'm putting the bits in Italics to show you what I'd referencing from your post - obvs don't include those bits in the email.

Start the email saying something like - "Following up on the meeting yesterday, thank you for the feedback, I just wanted to summarise what we talked about and ask for clarification on a few points.

I was told my work wasn’t perfect when I came back as I was missing small things (work in a professional role) but I was steadily improving as the months had gone on.

I appreciate that you have acknowledged the improvement in performance I have made since returning from maternity leave. I feel that I've worked hard to bring all work up to a professional standard and xxx xxx (insert something positive specific to your job performance here)

I was told of the direction of the company and that manager was looking forward to us all embarking on this next phase of growth together.

This was a really important part of the meeting. Can you remember specific words and phrases used? You need to add a line in summarising this to show your manager that you are on board with the 'next phase of growth' and are going to be a team player. So something like: I understand the direction the company is going and the need to do xxx and xxx together as a team to build xxx xxx xxx (whatever is specific to the message they were pushing at that point) Don't underestimate this part of the meeting - they were telling you their goals and expectations before the hit you with the whammy that they are not sure you are up to this 'next phase of growth' - make sure they know you understand there is a team goal and you are ready to be part of it.

I was then told it would be a good idea to re address the balance of my home and work life as it’s probably too much tipped into the home life at the moment. I have no idea what that meant, I leave to do nursery pick up but I’ve been told (by this manager) that that is fine.

Ask for clarification on this while also making sure they know that you are working before and after you come into the office, and double check again how the nursery run every day is being perceived.

I was concerned to hear that there is a feeling that my commitment to the position is being affected by my work home life balance. I would appreciate more clarification on this so that I can address any issues or concerns as soon as possible. I was told leaving to pick up my child from nursery was acceptable, and I have made sure to work from home before and after office hours to compensate for an early departure.

I was also told I need to build on being more robust so they can send more work to me steadily. I had no idea I wasn’t robust?!

I'd also like clarification on being told I need to be more robust. Could you be more specific on how that relates to my performance targets and what you would like to see from me.

My advice would be to watch how you are interacting with colleagues because the work life balance and robust comments sound to me like feedback that has been fed to your manager from your day to day interactions over the last six months. Do you come in exhausted - talk about DD a lot - make a big exit with how you must rush to get to nursery? That sometimes winds up colleagues especially those without kids who resent parents leaving at set times every day. I don't think it's wrong for you to have this accommodation but be careful how it appears so people aren't grumbling about you to the manager.

And re the robust - again sounds like colleagues complaining that they can't risk asking for things or help in case you get overwhelmed. Do you seem frazzled a lot at work?

It's hard when it's an informal arrangement, which apols if ive misunderstood but is what it sounds like Maybe make a flexible working request and make it more official so you both know where you stand? The work/life balance has to work for both parties

I agree with @HappyHedgehog247 and would add that they want you to compartmentalise your work more. It sounds like there is a lot of flexibility there, and I know you say you are very available and working before nursery and in the evening, but it can be disruptive to others. It can be easier to just have someone work “normal” hours. And for them to be fully focussed during work hours and not trying to juggle.

Are you doing every nursery pickup? If so, are you sure that was your managers expectation? Could you switch to eg doing 2 pickups per week? Maybe discuss those examples with your manager?

@pensandpapwrs
The discussion seems to indicate that your manager is concerned about your ability to fully balance work and home commitments, despite previous assurances. This feedback, while vague, suggests they may feel that while you're meeting targets, your capacity for handling additional responsibilities or maintaining consistent quality could be impacted by your current work-life balance. A constructive approach would be to seek clarity on what "readdressing the balance" means specifically, and whether this is linked to their long-term expectations of workload management. It may also be helpful to ask for specific examples or areas where robustness can be developed to avoid any ambiguity going forward.

It sounds to me like it's time to look for another job. They think you need to put more effort in. Your flexible working arrangements don't suit their business. It sounds like an awful culture of presenteeism.

I had a similar conversation with someone I used to work with though. Told me I could progress but that I needed to choose to prioritise work.

I didn't. Took my clients and my team and we work somewhere else now. For a lot more money.

Don't put up with this outdated rubbish. It sounds like they've been after you since you went back after mat leave and they are compiling a narrative against you.

It doesn't sound that mixed to me. You've come back and are slowly improving, but they want more from you. They should have been able to give specific examples around the WLB. The robust one- they want to be able to send more work your way.

I'm not saying any of this is fair and don't know if it's justified but the message doesn't seem mixed to me - they want you to improve performance- you might need to explore how.

This would make me want to leave. It's a really odd thing to say. Of course your home life will be more important with an 18m old. It doesn't last forever either.