Baby burnt by hot tea

He sounds quite evolved! 🙂 He obviously kept thinking about it.

Did dh run the baby under a cold tap? Or an ice pack? Because more importantly that is what you are supposed to do. It sounds like he just handed you the baby, and seconds count. Yes it was an accident, I am sure he feels awful.

I wouldn’t apologise, I’d be absolutely furious at how much of an idiot he is. Yes it was an accident but a completely preventable one. He should be ashamed.

My friend’s nephew was in a high chair in a supermarket cafe with his mother and her mother in law, as they were sorting the older child the little one pulled the tray and was severely scalded by a pot of hot tea. He had skin grafts and the only reason he didn’t lose his penis was because of the nappy he was wearing. He has to keep his legs covered in the summer still. This was over 10 years ago. He was with two adults and it still happened. Accidents are just that. You need to both draw a line under it and move on.

I've spilt an entire cup of coffee over my baby, accidents do happen. The difference is I have a tepid drinks only rule around my children so nobody got burned, the only damage was clothes stained beyond repair. Stop apologising, he's put your baby in a&e through negligence. If you can accept it was a genuine accident and move on then great but at the very least he needs to show learning and remorse. If he learns nothing and has hot drinks around baby in future he's wilfully being a danger to your child. Last week I ripped DH a new one for boiling veg in a pan at the front of the stove (back hobs were available) while my 2yo was in the kitchen. He was outraged as he was "keeping an eye out" but after a few hours told me he'd thought about and understood why it's a hard no, he won't do it again

Happened to my cousins baby too- was told likely to scar on both arms and todo, but 3 years on and nothing to see at all!

in regards to you husband, only you know him best. But could you be misreading the silence? Could he be retreating and quiet because actually he feels terrible and that he's let you/baby down? Everyone processes emotions differently and it's taking me nearly a decade to remember this about my own DH in situations. I'm not saying you shouldn't have called him an idiot, he was- and he probably knows it. You've apologised, move on. If he's anything like my DH it's possible that he's ruminating on his emotions and actions and doesn't know how to handle it.

Your baby is a year old. Your husband is an idiot.

Reminds me of when my husband left the front door open when we had a 9 week old puppy (!!!!). I called him a dickhead before running around the local area looking for him. Luckily he was found quickly but my husband went off and sulked. Men can be so dumb and pathetic.

I can’t believe these morons rule the world…

Why didn’t he do emergency first aid?

His attitude is appalling, and doesn't bode well for his future as a father. If I or DH had scalded our child we would be devastated and full of remorse. He's sulking because you said mean words to him? What a pathetic, petulant, narcissistic piece of shit. He's bloody lucky it wasn't worse, he could have killed his own child through sheer carelessness. I'm so sorry OP, I wouldn't be able to look at him.

This. Your husband is an idiot and has no right to be angry. He should be mortified

I think lots of people do have a drink while holding a baby but the crucial thing is I don’t think it’s normal to be holding a scalding cup. Even just letting it cool for a few minutes would make a difference between burns requiring a&e and something that can be dealt with at home with a running tap.

As soon as you’ve got milk in a drink you’ll be cooling it a bit as well but something like a black coffee or fruit tea is going to stay boiling for much longer. Even as an adult drinking a fruit tea, I’d leave it to cool for a good while before trying to drink it. If he was holding something hot enough to do that sort of damage then he has been irresponsible.

YANBU - at that sort of ages they are very likely to wriggle and lunge. Actually one of my DS head butted a mug I had and it took one of my teeth out around 1 year old! They are unpredictable as you know and your DH had a preventable accident. Personally, I was a bit paranoid about burning one of my DC so if I was holding them I only had cold drinks. Actually, even though they are now in their 20's I still prefer cold drinks as I got used to them when they were little and the habit stayed with me - probably super extreme of me. Sorry you and baby had to suffer this, but he should not be angry but really contrite!

Well it’s safe to say that this relationship is dead. Let’s hope DH learns some common sense before he has the child alone as part of a custody agreement.

So he gets the excuse of being not perfect, but when she is justifiably upset and in the heat of the moment she's called to account? Even after she's apologized? I've called dh an idiot more times than I can count in ten years, when he was genuinely doing something idiotic and careless with dc. You get what you pay for.

I mean he is an idiot and you were right to say so. That was entirely preventable. I'd wager his silence is guilt as he knows he fucked up!

Why do you feel so bad for telling him he's an idiot? ( he is)

Why do you keep apologising and telling him it could have happened to anyone (it couldnt ....only to idiots)

Are you scared of him?

If he uses withdrawal of love and affection as a regular punishment he's probably a narcissist.....beware

What do you mean, "baby will mostly be okay"? I'd probably want to focus on that, more than having a squabble with your husband about it. Yes, he's an idiot, why you'd hold a baby and a cup of tea at the same time, I don't understand, but getting into it with each other over that at the moment probably isn't the best use of your time. You need to focus on your baby and how to mitigate the damage which means baby will not be fully okay. I'm sorry you're facing this.

Just because people on here are a saying they do it...

Travel mug
A couple of ice cubes in it.
Put the baby down!

There are ways to have tea and no scalded child. I was very badly scalded with a cup of tea as a child (no scars OP!) and still remember the pain.

You've got nothing to feel guilty for. He deserved that reaction. Who in their right mind holds a cup of tea and a baby! Poor baby must have been in agony 😭 such reckless behaviour.

Stop apologising. He was an idiot and he knows it and is taking it out on you. He needs to get over himself and accept he did something stupid and you had every right to be angry.

It is common sense not to hold a baby and a hot drink. Any time I fancy a cup of tea when I’m with baby I leave it on the side until it’s only warm before taking it anywhere near her. It’s obviously not as nice as a lovely hot tea but I’d take a lukewarm tea (or no tea) over a burnt baby any day. If I ever walked in to see my partner or anyone holding the baby with a hot drink in hand I’d be livid and they’d know about it.

Can you not make a fresh cup of tea n pour it over him? See how that fucking feels?
How dare he do something so dumb and then have the hump with you AND blame the baby as he wriggled or lunged.

Horrible man

I would not have apologised, because having a go at him for being an idiot is nothing to say sorry for. ----
Who in their right mind has a hot tea whilst holding a baby?!
Now he's making you feel bad? I don't think so!!

I kinda think you are both wrong.

As been said , you shouldn’t hold a kid (not sure a one year old is still a baby) and a hot drink at the same time. It was ill judged and careless but he clearly wouldn’t want it to happen. Absolutely a preventable accident. Underline accident.

Your behaviour wasn’t okay though. I really don’t care how angry or scared you are you should never call your husband names or scream at him, Why? Because now you are dealing with an injured child, your husband feeling scared and awful and you feeling scared; awful with the aftermath to be made worse by your behaviour.

No you shouldn’t apologise except for your behaviour. There is no mama bear or protective instincts that should allow you to react this way. Of course you were scared and angry. But maybe consider how you are here through the whole situation.

Preventable accident with poor reaction equals poor outcome.

This is what’s been worrying me! Presumably there was screaming, yelling, and a baby under a tap in the kitchen, not him carrying baby up to you?

So he had an accident, a serious and preventable one. He feels bad, and is redirecting that into anger at you and using the excuse at what you said in the stress and heat of the moment. He's making a bad situation even worse with his behaviour and its awful, I'm sorry and hope your little one is ok!