Baby burnt by hot tea

Absolutely this!!! This was my first thought too. What a monumental fucking clueless idiot! Does he genuinely have no clue what to do when a child is scalded?!

Sorry if this has already been asked but after the accident, his first instict was to give you the scalded baby?
Yes he's an idiot for it happening and even more of an idiot for not immediately applying cold water and sgiutung for you rather than expecting you to deal with it

He was an idiot, and it was an accident, the response you had from fear is completely normal. Him now sulking about it, not apologising and making himself the victim, is shitty behaviour. Stop trying to make him feel better

Mine was a toddler pulled the drink off the table. I threw him in a warm shower stayed on the phone to 999 lady until ambulance arrived. I was in bits. Husband went in the ambulance I followed in the car when dressed.

I had to go back to the hospital every 48 hours for wound dressing. He did have a scar for a few years which finally disappeared. Weirdly when he has a shower he gets blotchy, allergy style. I wonder if it's because of the burns. 😢

I am stunned that he didn't know enough to rush the baby to the cold water tap. Let alone be so selfish and thoughtless as to drink hot tea anywhere near an infant in the first place. The more I think of it the less fathomable it is.

When we were little children my parents wouldn't even let us come into the kitchen (and I'm talking up to age 8 or 9) if they were boiling water for pasta, or frying chips (this was before oven chips) or doing anything else that would spatter, burn or boil us. I have vivid memories of standing at the kitchen door threshold watching them cook.

As a baby my sister had to have an eye operation and on the ward was a child burned over 80 percent of its body by scalding water. Seeing that was a traumatizing eye-opener and they were extra strict about safety ever after.

It is just unfathomable to me how a man who's been a father for a year thinks it's OK to have just-made hot tea anywhere near a small child. And then just stand there like a dullard waiting for OP to take over. And OP apologizes to him??

It was an accident OP, but you were acting on adrenaline and you probably still are. I think I would have said a lot worse to my DP if his thoughtless actions had caused such pain and damage to our daughter.
If the cup of tea was just poured (you mentioned previously that it had been 30 seconds) then it was far too hot for him to drink and doubly stupid that he was holding it at the same time as your baby.
You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You were kind to apologise and I'm sure your DP feels rightfully dreadful, but that is not your issue to carry.
Wishing all the best for your little one and that your follow up appointment goes well with better news for you all. X

Gosh so many accidents in the posts with hot water and babies!

I had hot tea spilled over me as a baby and ended up in A&E, narrowly avoiding skin grafts. I do have some scars but they are almost invisible now. Honestly I didn’t even know it had happened until I was 6 or 7 and even found new scars probably into my teens because they were very faint. Hopefully that will be the case for your baby, or better of course!

Fuck him OP. How has he managed to make this about him?

I'd be more cross if your DH didn't know what to do, and baby hadn't been immediately run under the cold tap for 20 minutes.

I recommend you both do a first aid course.

I wouldn’t apologise to him. When he’s looking after the baby that’s all he should be doing. Wouldn’t be surprised if he was looking at his phone too. He should apologise and sort his priorities out. Poor baby , hugs x

I'm coming at this from the "other side" as it were, because my 10 month old got a scald on his arm from my cup of tea. I had a sip and decided it was just slightly too hot to drink and put it down on the dining table and turned my back for a minute. My son was cruising round the furniture and managed to pull the cup over and his left arm was scalded quite extensively.

For those of you saying "why did he come to you and not do basic first aid??" You can't say how you'll react in an emergency. My husband was away on business at the time. I put my son in the bath, but it's not that easy to run cold water on a distressed baby. I phoned my husband because I couldn't think what to do and he called an ambulance for me.

He was calm and level headed. I'm not sure what I would have done if he'd yelled at me for being so stupid.

I don't think you need to keep apologising, but he's obviously having a hard time dealing with his feelings about it. @Redlorryyellowcar you said "he's apologised to baby but not to me..." Should I have apologised to my husband for not being careful enough with my cup of tea? He knew I felt awful about it. And you also said you've "said nice things", but it doesn't sound like you believe any of those things you said. I can imagine they sounded very hollow. What was your aim? To get him to open up to you about how terrible he feels and beg your forgiveness?

For what it's worth, my son's arm healed up perfectly and very soon you couldn't tell that anything had happened to him. I can't say the same for my "mental scars". It's one of those things that I replay in my head... If those replays also included my husband being furious and yelling at me, I'd probably feel many times worse.

@Redlorryyellowcar I'd be angry too. He sounds a complete twat. First for holding a scalding hot drink while holding a wriggly baby, and second for running to you instead of to the sink to pour cold water onto the burn.

I spilt tea on my little DS when he was 2. DS was on the floor and I picked something up off the table, knocking the cup over, and the tea rushed across the table onto DS. It was awful. My DH was in the room and he started screaming at me - probably called me worse than an idiot, I think yelled what the fuck have you done a few times. Do you know what OP, I didn't even register it. It was years ago now but I remember the moment so vividly. I picked up DS and put him straight under water, and to this day I don't remember DH even being in the room. I never would have expected him to apologise. What I did was awful. I know it, he knows it, he was shocked and shouting in shock and fear. Perfectly understandable!

We were very very lucky in that the run off the table cooled it down and there wasn't a scar, but god I feel sick just thinking about it.

He needs to accept that in the moment you were terrified for the baby. Your reactions were all focussed on the baby's welfare and he'd done something stupid. What were you supposed to do, pat him on the head and say there, there...

Screw top travel mugs for both of you.

You will both be shocked and deal with it in your own ways.

Hope your baby will be OK.

Exactly this

Don't be so stupid! People say such obtuse crap on here.

My ex bought me a bunch of flowers after doing this and complimented me on how well I kept my cool at the hospital. And my ex is a narcissist bastard usuallly.

That was the exact excuse my ex used and also blamed me as I hadn't warned him that baby was moving and reaching further than the week before

I'm so sorry about your baby. This happened to mine (search
ex dp burnt my baby').
To be fair, he deserved everything you said but equally unless he's usually a moron he probably feels so bad enough already - his silent treatment will be as much to do with his shame as his reaction to your reaction. Leave him be and go and do something nice for yourself.
How would you expect him to respond if you had a silly decision that led to injury?
Just for the record I didn't blow up at my ex as I knew he felt bad and also I was quite scared of him. But I did give him a big lecture about safety a week or so later and sent him on a baby first aid course. I also recommend the baby academy accident prevention course online. On my post someone recommended some good charities about children's accident prevention too.
I also made him promise to never ever hold a hot drink at the same time as baby.

I too blame the baby here. Hope it has leant a lesson. Oh wait it's a baby. Your husband should learn the lesson not to be a grade A idiot and never hold a boiling drink and the baby again. Tbh if he doesn't get this I would consider the relationship

I would have absolutely gone mental and beat the living daylights out of him.

Yeah @BettyBardMacDonald I mean, she isn't scarred at all. But that's not the point I was making.

And the child would be devastated to to have scars for life due to a perfectly preventable incident.