Things someone has done that suddenly made you weirdly attracted to them

DH has a easeful competence in everything from flower arranging to being able to take photos at artistic angles - he somehow just does stuff seemingly without even thinking about it.

Limbs completely covered in tattoos are disgusting. Chav city.

My DH, who was just my housemate at the time, saw me trying and failing to build IKEA flat-pack furniture and offered to help. Then just very casually and calmly built all of it for me in about half an hour with no fuss and no stress.

Hottest thing ever.

We got together quite soon after that and are now married with a baby daughter. Thanks IKEA!

Treating all people with equal respect and kindness, and never overlooking someone or treating them as "lesser" because they are shy, disabled, overweight, a different race/culture, unattractive, homeless, elderly, not "neuro-typical", etc..

I can appear to be a quite stand-offish person and it can be difficult to get to know me. I'm not very good at accepting help or being the social butterfly, my humour can be a bit "off" sometimes, so I tend to get overlooked a lot or assumed to be odd or difficult. It's very attractive to me if I get "seen" and someone actually gets me, but it happens very rarely - which is good because I don't tend to have much energy for being social, but I do love to flirt and I'm surprisingly good at it, so when it does happen it's dynamite! It really doesn't matter to me what someone looks like or their social standing, either, I can recognise good looks but it's utterly meaningless to me if there's no connection.

Nothing is more off putting than feeling like the maid in Your own house. I work part time and do absolutely everything in the house/garden /general admin / look after mentally ill daughter,.
he works full time and gets paid well but it’s as if because of that it doesn’t occur to him to do anything else. Just dosent see all the other stuff. He will occasionally do the dishes.
Needless to say I no longer have sex . The desire has just honestly disappeared.
I can’t imagine being with a man who actively listens, is interested and sees me/ helps . I sometimes wonder if my libido would come back or if it’s gone forever?

Did anyone watch Saturday Kitchen yesterday?
Stanley Tucci's forearms are to die for! 😂

My DH is super competent, sees what needs doing and does it. But I've never fancied him more than when we went to my sisters house and she opened the door and I went in and he followed. He went to shut the door, stopped said "this door needs fixing, do you have a screwdriver?" and then proceeded to fix it before he'd even got in the house.

It has to be the skill of active listening. Asking questions and actually really listening, making you feel seen. How rarely does that happen?
Also I’m with the competence.
A man that helps with out having to be asked.
who notices how much there is to do and just does it with out expecting the fan fare after.
A man who actually listens to you when you and knows how to comfort.

I went on a date with a man and at the end he got me a black cab and then put £20 in my hand just before I got in and said he wanted me to get home safely. It felt incredibly sexy as though we were in an old movie. He was looking after me and being considerate.

I also became very attracted to a man who got all of my literary and musical references. If I alluded to something or made a joke referencing something niche he generally understood whereas it would go over many people’s heads. After that I was hooked.

I don’t think there is. They just like the real porn.

I'm so glad someone else has shared the tom Holland video. I saw it years ago and was mesmerised by it! I never would have noticed him in films or anything, but that video made me see him in such a different light. I have gone back and watched it many times.

Was walking with an old BF along a dirt road. He picked up a stone and threw it. I looked and looked and said “where did it land?” - and only then did I see it hit the road in a puff of dust, far, far away. Unreal. I still miss those forearms.

1. our kitchen sink got blocked full of water and very annoying, my DH found a length of tubing (where!?!) and syphoned the water out of the sink. So hot.
2. speaking really proficient French. dear lord - straight upstairs.

Turns out Jordan Peterson is right when he's always banging on at young men to develop their competence!

Im undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, have young primary aged children and I’ve only told a few mums I’m friendly with of at the school.

There’s a dad I don’t find him remotely attractive he’s not repulsive just not my type. We parked side by side in our little Tesco car park and got out the same time and he jokingly sealed if I was dressed like Batman because I was going to rob the shop? I had a hat on and a mask on a sunny day 😊 I laughed and told him why. He was so kind, asked all the right questions without being at all intrusive, offered to do school runs if I needed help, shared experiences of people he knows who have been through cancer with a positive outcome and I was so touched he took the time to stand and chat and be so caring.

I find men who are good dads very appealing. Not the, look at me I'm a great day sort of thing, ugh, can't stand that, but just the quietly competent and actually listens to them and picks up a baby without any need for an audience. That's so rare and refreshing.

I've had the inverse of this. Was dating a guy for a bit. We went for a hike. He couldn't read a map and struggled to do his bag up. Instant turn off.

I love this one - I'd be an absolute goner

I've never really been into teachers but my DDs headteacher showed up to the school trip with shorts and tshirt on and his arms and legs were completely covered in tattoos. It was the shock from his normally very professional suit...I blushed everytime he said hi to me in the playground for weeks.

A friend of my DH’s who prior to this instance I hadn’t really thought much about but we were having a conversation and he listened to me.. I mean like properly listened and asked good questions and didn’t talk over me or make it about him. And I remember thinking, lucky wife!

I also very much agree with the capability thing being very hot! If only men knew how much we’re turned on by a man in marigolds 😆.

First date with DH. He asked me out during a work phone conversation we were having with each other, and suggested a local pub. On New Year's Eve. I assumed he would want to meet me inside, and being quite a shy person when I was young I wasn't very keen on walking into busy pubs on my own, but I didn't want him to know that.
So I asked him what time and where I should meet him, and then he said "oh, no,don't walk over on your own, I'll come to yours and walk over with you"
We were both very young, neither of us could drive and I knew that this meant a 40 minute walk out of his way instead of a 15 minute walk straight to the pub. I remember being very impressed, I thought it was VERY gentlemanly & chivalrous and I fell a little bit in love with him right then and there!
He also turned up in lovely jeans and a fairisle jumper ( I have also always had a thing about men in nice cuddly knitwear) and I'd only ever seen him in a shirt and tie before. I was smitten!

Wore a suit. And was good at his job. <Swoon>

Yes.

A guy at work, a client who was a regular there, I was chatting with him and I said it was my birthday, and he asked what my husband had got me. When I said, "Oh, dh forgot" he gasped and his mouth dropped open.

I had been a bit peeved and so it was extremely endearing.

Thank you, PPs, for introducing me to that Tom Holland LipSync Battle video!