AIBU to be anxious about partners new job

What a sleazy creep.
trust me, few young women around that age are going to be interested in the guy in catering trying to sound cool and
‘ vibe’ with them, don’t care what T-shirt he’s got on.
You don’t trust, and he’s not respectful towards you. you can do better.

Christ he's done a number on you hasn't he. There is NO EXCUSE for what he has done. You were pregnant with his child, it's normal to be tired especially if you are working and in the hospital every day and not want to be out or intimate. Good men just understand that's part of the process and support you, not cheat and blame you for it. His parents are awful and it's none of their business. The job isn't the problem, he is.

Respectfully it is none of his parents business. I don't know why you would trust their opinion. They are supporting his cheating but not your reaction too it. You need to surround yourself with people who care about you OP. These people do not.
For now I would just boot him out and work out the logistics later

Please seek help to remove yourself and your child far away from this creep before he gets arrested for grooming female students.

There has been so much solid advice from others in this thread. Please, please put as much distance as you can between you and him before it's too late.

You owe him nothing. You owe his parents nothing.

You owe yourself and your own child everything.

Everyone who works in an education setting even if they don't teach must also follow safeguarding rules which very clearly state that no social media contact with students.

This is such a basic concept for anyone in a settling like that and it's made exceptionally clear at the start of each year and whenever you start a new job - teaching or not - that this constitutes gross misconduct and can be an instantly sackable offence.

So he's being a total prick and risking his job.

His behaviour - plus his attitude towards you are such enormous red flags for being a sexual predator.

All that it needs is someone to phone the Head or the Designated Safeguarding Officer and tip them off as to this behaviour and telling them about his social media.........

If i were making the call I would also mention that he has a particular sexual taste for younger women PLUS his claims that it doesn't matter about his behaviour as he's "not a teacher"

If his role is anything to do with welfare, pastoral or security or which has any direct contact with young people whatsoever then the college team should be on it instantly.

Doesn't matter if the students are over 18 either.

He's fucking gross and shouldn't be anywhere near any kind of educational establishment.

Run.
Go back to therapy for some help with self love and raise your standards.

And 'not thinking you could compete with an 18 year old'

I mean this kindly but this guy is not a prize of any kind.

I'm a university lecturer and think this is completely inappropriate. I let my Master students add me on Linkedin where I might share things like job announcements, but I'd never connect with my students on any other type of social media.

He needs to remember that even if he doesn't work as teaching staff, he's in a position of responsibility. He can be friendly, but befriending students is a big no.

Firstly he is gaslighting you.
Decent men don't do this or watch porn and you are not being controlling, you are responding to what's going on.

He sounds like a sleezy lech, time to get your own situation in order and get some control back.

Do you work OP? Do you rent or own a house together?

If he is going to prey on women that age in an educational setting as an adult in a position of authority, then you've got more to worry about than his online porn type.

His parents think you’re being controlling and trying to ruin his new job? Cool.

Tell them you don’t pay attention to the opinions of people who raise creepy, vile pervy men.

I said YABU- but not in relation to worrying about his new job- YABVU staying with this creepy loser who pervs on much younger women.

Lots of great support here but if you are not going to act on it do not complain any more honey. Accept it then.🌺

Mmmm. No excuses. You had heart problems (serious) you are making a new life in your body in which he participated (true) you had sensory issues around pregnancy (fact that happens) and the father of your child acts like he is 12 years old looking at a 6th form girl. Lamb when you were a baby girl and you could tell her that is what she is going to have in her life a crap creepy man, who controls you and could potentially abuse her. What would you say. You need to meet the wee vulnerable girl inside you when you were little and tell her you are going to protect her from this. The wee girl is you.🌺

*perving not serving.

Oh and his excuses are bullshit, I'm a lone parent and I know what true loneliness feels like, I don't go chatting and serving on 18 year olds online though.

He's a gross individual. I'd be so embarrassed to have a partner in his 30s who leered over 18 year olds. Get rid.

He sounds like a loser and why are you with him? He's probably relishing in being in the company of young girls. Unless you've any evidence he likes underage girls there's not much you can do.

All of these things: you were sick, needed care, didn’t feel good are reasons your partner should have taken care of you not complained, avoided, watched porn. You are so beaten down and depressed that you take full responsibility for his bad acts. Nonsense! A good partner loves you, and your stretch marks. He and his hideous family are absolute shits. You may find it hard to be strong for yourself and throw this bum out but you should. He is an absolute gold plated wanker.

He sounds like a lecherous creep.

Hi again. When you were in therapy what were the "reasons" he felt he needed to look at and interact with young girls even though he is 36? You said you understood why he did it because of these reasons? Can you clarify them?

Hey honey

Why don't you see your parents? Do you have any brothers or sisters or just your cousin?

Do you have any kind of support around you? Friends, family , a trusted person you could talk to? You need support. You need to see this from a different angle as you are not seeing it for what it is as you are so down on yourself. Please reach out to someone in real life.🌸Imagine if you had a daughter and she was saying this about a partner. What would you tell her?