Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay the cleaner

224 replies

MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 12:50

We have had a cleaner for about a month and she is absolutely great. Today I had £100 on my bedside table this morning. There is no one else who could have taken it, but there is no evidence it was her. Am I being unreasonable not paying her ?

OP posts:
Keepingongoing · 11/10/2024 13:18

It’s impossible to know for certain, but seems unlikely she would steal money left out so visibly.

I’ve had cleaners and helpers for nearly 30 years and never once have I had to suspect anyone. As a precaution, I don’t leave cash lying around, and I hide my handbag away until I really know the person.

An accusation of theft is serious and if you make it to her, you’ll lose her.

in your position, I would give her the benefit of the doubt, chalk this up to the unexplained, pay her and keep a closer eye on your cash going forward. The bother of finding a new good cleaner would outweigh the doubt about the missing money.

If it happened again, of course then don’t keep her.

Original poster
MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 13:18

Yes I asked him. He also saw it before he left and has not taken it

OP posts:
HotCrossBunplease · 11/10/2024 13:17

Have you spoken to your husband? Your mind can play tricks. Perhaps you thought you had last seen it after he left, but actually you last saw it when he was still in the house.

MounjaroUser · 11/10/2024 13:16

And show how upset you are - make sure you move every single thing in your room - the bed, the bedside tables, everything!

You didn't put it under your pillow or quilt for privacy? I do that.

Tiredofthewhirring · 11/10/2024 13:15

@Lissyy

It's such an unkind assumption + who is daft enough to steal cash they know will be missed?

Original poster
MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 13:12

MounjaroUser · 11/10/2024 13:11

Can you ask her to help you look for it? If she's taken it she might find a way of returning it.

This is a very good idea!

OP posts:
MounjaroUser · 11/10/2024 13:11

Can you ask her to help you look for it? If she's taken it she might find a way of returning it.

Lunde · 11/10/2024 13:11

I assume you've checked all of the drawers and cupboards in the bedroom, under the bed, vacuum bag etc in case it fell off when she was cleaning or she tucked it in a drawer to be safe - a bit odd to leave a large amount of money out when someone is coming in to dust/vacuum.

Coconutter24 · 11/10/2024 13:11

ShowerOfShites · 11/10/2024 13:01

As long as you're ok with walking into a shop and the shopkeeper refusing to hand over your change, because something's gone missing from a shelf?

But this is no where near the same. Plenty of people will walk through a shop whereas only two people have been in the bedroom since OP last saw the money

Original poster
MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 13:11

Heidi2018 · 11/10/2024 13:10

Have you actually looked for it? Or did you walk into the room, see it's gone and jump to conclusions?

I’ve looked for it very thoroughly, to accuse someone of stealing was the very last conclusion

OP posts:
IridescentRainbow · 11/10/2024 13:11

I was a cleaner, and on a few occasions I found money left out. I personally would not touch it, but I can imagine some people might put the money somewhere "safe". I think you should do her the courtesy of asking her if she moved it. Only then decide what to do about it. In any event she should be paid for her work.

Heidi2018 · 11/10/2024 13:10

Have you actually looked for it? Or did you walk into the room, see it's gone and jump to conclusions?

Lissyy · 11/10/2024 13:10

Tiredofthewhirring · 11/10/2024 13:03

Wow.

It's clearly been knocked, taken by someone else in your house or you've misremembered.

Pay her.

How do you know? This is great that someone on the Internet knows what happened, pretty talented.

Original poster
MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 13:09

sweetpickle2 · 11/10/2024 13:08

Seems deeply weird that she would steal so obviously from you if she wants to continue working for you, which would presumably get her much more than £100 in the long run.

My thoughts exactly which is why I didn’t hide it away

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 11/10/2024 13:09

Who else is in the house?

MSLRT · 11/10/2024 13:08

It is great that everyone is so trusting but unfortunately there are some unscrupulous people out there who see an opportunity and take it.

sweetpickle2 · 11/10/2024 13:08

Seems deeply weird that she would steal so obviously from you if she wants to continue working for you, which would presumably get her much more than £100 in the long run.

bifurCAT · 11/10/2024 13:07

Pretty dumb of her if that's the case though. Steal 100, lose a weekly income (unless she's part of an agency and is guaranteed to fill that slot).

I'm wondering whether it's worth subtly reporting back to her company (if she's part of one) saying you're not 100%, but just keep an eye out so if anyone else reports back...

Cosyblankets · 11/10/2024 13:06

I lost a bluetooth device recently. It was definitely in the house. I still have not found it. However, i don't have a cleaner so i don't have anyone to blame.

My point is you can't always be certain it was where you thought it was.

Original poster
MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 13:06

You guys are all very trusting. I think I will pay her and not ask her back. I know for sure it’s gone.

OP posts:
ArnieandBob · 11/10/2024 13:06

It's highly unlikely a professional and well established cleaner would steal from a client. My dsis has her own company and would never dream of doing this.
What were her references like?

caramac04 · 11/10/2024 13:05

I once lost a watch. Searched everywhere. In the end was convinced a visitor had stolen it.
I was wrong. I had put it somewhere safe and found it months later.
So relieved I didn’t accuse or ask the visitor.

Original poster
MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 13:04

my husband left the house before me so he could definitely not have taken it

OP posts:
Lunde · 11/10/2024 13:04

20 years ago when we lost £100 out of the blue - it turned up in DDs toy till. Another time with a smaller amount it turned up in DH's wallet as he'd absentmindedly picked it up and "put it away"

AnotherDelphinium · 11/10/2024 13:04

Depends how sure you are? I’d ask first if she moved it or has tidied it away.

A former cleaner insisted in being paid cash, one week I messaged when I realised I’d forgotten to move it from the cupboard to leave it out for her and offered to drop it over than evening but she said to just leave it out the following morning as had a neighbour as a client and she’d collect then.

The following morning I went to get it out, and it wasn’t there. I was perplexed but it wasn’t there. I messaged asking if she’d taken it was robustly assured she hadn’t.

The indoor cameras just picked her up bustling around and with her purse/keys in the kitchen and I couldn’t be certain either way, so I spent the day worrying over it. Until that evening when I watched the complete recording and could see clear as day her going into the cupboard as soon as she arrived and taking it.

She’d so staunchly denied removing it, it was really difficult to say anything else, and then claimed she’d “just forgotten”. But the trust was gone and that was it which was a shame as she was a decent cleaner.

Swipe left for the next trending thread