Okay - so DH & I together 20 years, 2 kids. Have had the usual ups and downs.
DH is in highest earner bracket so puts a lot in pension as it's tax efficient. I earn about a third of what DH does. I went part-time for kids, took a hit on promotions, didn't pay into pension in maternity etc. but DH was free to go for big jobs.
DH has close to £1m in pension, I have a quarter of that. DH is now suggesting I basically drop my pension contributions to minimum, we put more of DH money in his pension, and use more of my salary to live off. More tax efficient.
Then when I'm 55 we take the 25% out of my pension that's allowed too.
AIBU that this makes me feel really uncertain?? I don't like the idea that my pension will be worth so much less! DH of course is saying, but it's OUR money at the end of the day and even if we split, pensions are a shared asset so I'd still benefit.
YABU - it's family money. Use your salary to live on and save more in DP pension
YANBU - you should both have separate pensions, and you should be paying more into yours not less...