to not want to put money in DH pension and not mine?

If you both plan to be together until death do you part and you have a joint account /he isn't in control of your spending then it makes financial sense. My parents would do something like that.
I don't trust men though so I wouldn't unless I was legally protected - perhaps marriage is enough to legally protect you but you'd only 'get half ' if you actually divorced - staying married with him holding the purse strings is the difficult postition I'd be wary of

my husband and I often tax plan as to how to best use up our allowances etc. when you are married everything is joint. It makes no difference whose name it is in. It is collective asset of the marriage. In the event of a divorce he could be made to give you a proportion of it and after 20 years that would, no doubt, be 50%

honestly I don’t live my life expecting my husband to leave me- it depends if you have suspicions that you might split up or not.

all our money planning is done based on what is best for us as a couple as our retirement is being planned as a couple.

Oh no, do not put money into his at all, instead put as much as you can into yours. You never know what the future holds. If he wants to save tax payments why not look into put everything in your name?

I dont think its a problem as even if you do split, pensions would be too. I think the main issue is that he getting close to the lifetime limit, whereas you are not, so does it really make sense to max his pension. Id sit down and do the numbers on how much will really be saved by doing this, and for how long. Unless you are uncertain about your relationship, in which case its not ideal as it makes his income look smaller than what it is.

You need independent financial advice, not vague promises or probably incorrect advice from the internet.
I have no idea about the financial side of things and what would be most cost effective.
Make an appointment, go on your own if it will upset him, and get proper answers.

A few thoughts:
What if you get divorced? It would get very messy, and promises made now would fly out of the window in the face (or bed) of the OW.

What if you want a divorce- no chance of equalizing your savings then.

What if he dies- his pension doesn't come to you as his wife automatically in its entirety. Wills can be changed.

What if he needs residential care- how would that be paid for?
Or you do- would you have enough to pay for a decent standard of care?

You also set yourself up for being "dependent " on him and his much larger pension - imagine having to ask him for money, getting his "permission" for purchases...

Now your husband might be a paragon of virtue- you might be one of those couples who really do just have "the money " irrespective of whose bank account it originally went to.
Or not. Better safe than sorry OP.

I think I'd consider this as the tax breaks are so good, but I'd probably want to even things up a bit. For example, maybe moving all savings into your name.

@user86345625434 @yellowcuptea The lifetime allowance was abolished back in April of this year, but I agree to wait and see what the October budget brings.

i would suggest getting financial advice from a financial planner to be honest.

What happens if you divorce?? You might be happily married now, but I’d always keep that scenario in the back of my head.

i would investigate what happens if partner died suddenly. What happens to his pension? What happens if one of you gets sick and can’t work and the money is tied up in pension until you reach the age you can withdraw it.

how old are your kids? Will they have uni expenses that you don’t want tied up in pension.

you could invest in premium bonds and if you buy a big block you could get money every month.

I don’t like the idea that your smaller salary gets gobbled up.

Absolutely not. There is no guarantee you will remain married. It is your responsibility to make sure YOU are financially secure whatever happens. It sounds like he already is.

Are you legally married in the UK? Depending on your religion, a religious ceremony might not be enough. I would seek legal advice before taking any steps. It's probably also a good idea to wait for the budget to be announced as it might change things.

See an IFA. Pension rules could change drastically with Labour, just as State Pensioners have taken a hit so will high earners. 2 things to note When the high earner dies or you split you are left with a smaller pot of your own. And once you take and spend your tax free bit that's you paying 40% on every pound you take out. I didn't take any of my ex pension and wish that I had

I wouldn’t although in a plot he’s right you’d have a claim on his pot but it feels like it’s about control which is a worry, sorry. Also, Stock market or company final salary scheme. Presumably both of you are currently claiming to the 40% tax rebate on pension contributions or paying in pre-tax? Providing it’s a (private) invested stock market pension and that both pension funds have the same returns, it makes no odds where it’s invested as the return is X% of both pots. If one is performing better than the other then you need to find out why.

If it's more tax efficient, go for it! If you're married but happened to split and get divorced you are entitled to half anyway.
Check his will though and perhaps get a memorandum of understanding written up with a solicitor.
Tax relief is free money at rhe end of the day.

That would make me incredibly uncomfortable. It may be tax efficient but it makes you financially vulnerable.
While no one likes paying taxes, you have already had financial repercussions from having children and it doesn’t mean you should have to absorb more of them if you don’t need to.

I'm not sure of your age, but remember the tax free lump sum (assuming no changes in the budget) will move from 55 to 57 in April 2028.

I'd seriously suggest talking to financial advisor (as someone else suggested not associated with St James Place). Not all pensions are equal so the quality is also a factor, guarantees within the pension, charges etc. Pensions can be fairly complex so it's worth making the right choice upfront.

Isn’t putting more into your pension also tax efficient? No I wouldn’t go along with that.

So how does this work on the way out? By which I mean. When you withdraw from a pension other than the first 25% you are taxed on it. So if one person holds almost all the pension they make large withdrawals and get taxed at a higher rate. Better to both withdraw the same amount and make the most of both allowances and both lower rate allowances.
The gain on the way in is unlikely to offset this.

@MrsCarson this would be my concern too- if one has to go into care- ok the house can't be forced to be sold but the pension can certainly be used to varying degrees and may make the person left at home vulnerable to a very tight income

Tax savings are a far bigger component of building wealth than they may seem on the face of it. It's shocking the difference it makes investing inside a tax wrapper vs. outside one - and especially pension since it's pre-tax money going in as well as tax-free gains inside the pension.

So - if you were in the 20% bracket and him 40 or 45% then I'd agree. However, as 40% vs. 45% it really doesn't make enough difference, so if it makes you uncomfortable, then say no.

(However, I'd also say you should be thankful you have a DH who has managed your money well and has set both of you up for a very comfortable retirement)

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but he / you need to look at the full tax position - i.e. money going into the pension & then coming back out again.
As things are going, I can see him paying 40% tax on at least some of his pension withdrawals, whereas you'll probably only be paying 20%. Ignoring the tax free element, he'll be 'saving' 5% re the tax difference on the way in / out & you'll be 'saving' 20%. In this instance, it probably make more sense building up your pension, not his.

@yellowcuptea I also grew up with very little was lucky enough to go to uni with full grant (not that it was much!) That was largely due to my deadbeat dad running away and is the reason why I always have some of the money that I earn that only I can access.

Glad that you recognise you have taken a hit relative to him although things are much more even now.

This is not giving me bad vibes at all! All your money is currently family money and finances are completely shared. He has therefore suggested an arrangement that he thinks will save the family money in tax, which if he is a high earner, could be substantial, for the benefit of you all. As pp said I'd be discussing with a financial advisor but I wouldn't be assuming he wanted to take all my money so he could leave me. Why would he when he earns so much and has shown literally no sign of this, and been so open about his finances.