To ask my happily married baby daddy to donate sperm?

Don’t let hormones run your brain. Many of us were madly broody for another one raising one on our own. Put your current baby first, you are already low on support raising one, two… you will manage but won’t be able to provide for as well as with one (I’m talking of time, patience, support and energy, not just money).

You need a village to raise a kid and all that, if your child is 100%of the time with you, you do not have it.

Besides, why would your ex want to be legally liable for child maintenance of another child with you when he has it may have his own children to support at home?

You sound equally as bad if you'd consider using a married man to father a second child, and potentially disrupt his marriage.

Are you insane ????

Just no. There is lots of kid out there who are only children or have half siblings etc, it's not unusual these days so your kid will be fine.
What won't be fine is you having another baby with your ex who is married, that's just mental, how messy that could get !!

So you have a toddler with him and he’s already met and married someone else? Pull the other one OP.

I actually know people that have had subsequent children with their existing children's father, even though they are not in a relationship. So that's not an excessively crazy idea IMO.
But yours is married!! I highly highly doubt they would agree. No harm in asking though, except for them thinking you're a bit crazy lol.

I actually don’t think there’s any harm in asking either.

People reproduce in inadvisable ways all the time - one night stands, failing relationships, affairs, a family that is too large to support…

No, it is not ideal but I am not sure what the OP is doing that is so much worse than any of the above. The man in question seems to be liberally-minded, to say the least, and I suspect would be rather flattered anyway.

The desire to have a second child is a very strong one and, although it would be a hard road, at least her children would be close in age together.

I actually think this might be preferable to forming a second relationship and risking her firstborn feeling second best to their half-sibling or her second partner not treating him fairly. Those stories are all over Mumsnet, almost every day.

Your off your tree

But you are not expecting him to be just a sperm donor if you also want him to see this hypothetical child. You also said he doesn't see your current child often, why do you think he would be interested in seeing another one?

Did you also think about how would you explain that to you child when they are older?

Honestly, you are either a troll or pretty selfish.

Aside from all the above comments, just enlighten me OP, what’s in it for “Baby Daddy” (🤮)

Saying "one will have a daddy they're excited to see and the other won't" implies you expect him to not just donate sperm but also be a dad figure. As otherwise your kids will have the same dad but one won't have any relationship with him, which is obviously worse than a mystery dad. That's even more batshit than asking for a donation.

If my husband's ex asked this, I'd be insisting he distanced himself from her (as much as he could, given the child). It's actually an insane request, there are no circumstances that could make it reasonable.

Absolutely not.

I felt horribly broody after my dc was born but I found that getting a pet helped with that feeling. Now we are a happy triad and I have much better mental health than if I were single mum to 2 human children.

Baby daddy 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Children need good fathers.

Completely and utterly batshit, this can’t be true. You seriously think his wife will be happy for him to double the child support he pays.

Lauryn Goodman is that you?

I'm confused. You would expect another woman to be happy about her DH 's ex carrying her man's child? Or wouldn't she know?? Presumably the father is paying maintenance for child no.1? And if you are going it alone with no.2, he presumably would not be paying a penny? Nor taking any sort of responsibility? You really have put absolutely no thought into this hare-brained scheme, have you?

You don't want him to donate his sperm. You want him to be an involved parent (so a future child could also be excited to see their dad). This is completely unreasonable.

I also agree with you that it wouldn't be fair to create another child who didn't have the same opportunity to have a father. I see why you might want it for yourself, and/or for your son, but you can't create a child with everyone's interests in mind except their own.

Does she let him see the baby regularly? Seems controlling and full of boundary breaking or at least bending thinking of asking for someone to hand over their DNA to get her pregnant, no relationship. Would you lend your eggs to his wife so they can have a baby they will raise and have 100% of the time?

If your ex agrees to do this as a donor, Your two children would have totally different relationships with him. Horribly rejecting for the second child seeing their sibling call him dad. He doesn’t sound like a good dad. Why give him the privilege of your second?

She says she is with the baby 100% of the time and is a single mom. How can a household of zero working adults and a toddler not be on UC? Another baby would exempt her from going to work for a while.

How is he with child support?