SIL used my baby name

284 replies

Elle989898 · 10/10/2024 23:28

I’ve been TTC for years, no living children so far, just two miscarriages this year. SIL just had a baby and has called him my DP’s (her brother’s) middle name + our much wanted baby name. I haven’t said anything but I am so hurt. AIBU?

OP posts:

Boltonb · 10/10/2024 23:36

Is the name a family name, hence it being your DP’s middle name?

JemimaTiggywinkles · 10/10/2024 23:36

You aren't unreasonable to be hurt, but I'm not sure it is fair to blame her. Using her brother's middle name is likely to be for good reasons rather than nastiness. For example, if the name is a family one (on either side), or because she wants to honour her brother and doesn't know you'd picked it.

Laszlomydarling · 10/10/2024 23:36

My child has my brother's middle name as a first name. Was i supposed to ask his partner before I used it? No. It's a name. You're also free to use it.

I'm sure your partner will be proud to have a nephew and maybe one day a son who both share his name.

Original poster

Elle989898 · 10/10/2024 23:35

Thanks for replies. My DH is the only person in family with this name

OP posts:

PepaWepa · 10/10/2024 23:34

Did she know? If she knew and didn't ask first if you'd mind, that's out of order, regardless of "not owning names".

GrettaGreen · 10/10/2024 23:33

Is it a family name or is your husband the only person in the family with that name somewhere in it?

TheFairyCaravan · 10/10/2024 23:32

Sorry but YABU. It’s understandable that you’re upset but she’s not unreasonable to use a name that no one owns

Pandasnacks · 10/10/2024 23:30

How often have you reminded her it's your name? She is not U to use it at all, but that doesn't necessarily mean YABU to feel upset with everything you are going through.

teatoast8 · 10/10/2024 23:30

It's fair to be hurt, but we don't own names, and she didn't know

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