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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider a new role for £20k increase but long commute

64 replies

BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 21:49

Hello everyone

I currently have a great job at the moment. Money is good, 20-30 min commute with me being in the office three days a week. We have a gym onsite so I manage to get my workouts in. Very flex in that if I need to do pick up or drop offs I can. I have two DC - 2 and 4. DD will start reception next September. There are cons in that hours can be long but I can log off and log back on when needed. It’s not always intense just for certain periods of the year. I have good colleagues generally too.

I’ve been offered a job with a £20k increase but the commute time is double. So it would be 45/1 hour. They also require 3 days a week in the office. It’s a more senior role - so I suspect more work?

DH is a consultant so will work wherever his client is based. So the flex quite often falls to me to do drop off and pick up.

What would you do? Stay put or consider the new job? Is it doable with young children? My gut says it’s a great role and would be great for my career but probably not doable with the children being so young and about to head into school.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
dogcatbird · 10/10/2024 22:14

Different opinion here OP but I wouldn't! Not with young kids. Time and ease of role for me personally more important at that age. Also would prefer to do without the extra headache of added responsibility around young kids.

I guess it depends more on if you think it will hugely benefit your career and / or lifestyle outside of work. if it won't then there's less point. I'd honestly rather have more flexibility, time and less money but know I had enough energy and state of mind for my kids

BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:12

justasmalltownmum · 10/10/2024 22:11

1 hour commute isn't bad, but I would want the flexibility whilst my kids are young.

Yep this is where my dilemma is.

OP posts:
justasmalltownmum · 10/10/2024 22:11

1 hour commute isn't bad, but I would want the flexibility whilst my kids are young.

ChiffandBipper · 10/10/2024 22:10

I think it depends on your current salary. If you are on £15k a year, then a £20k rise is life changing. If you are one of the classic mumsnet high earners currently on £180k plus bonuses then £20k probably won't change your life much.

BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:04

FrothyCothy · 10/10/2024 21:57

What are the before and after school arrangements? Can you or DH make it back in time/make it to work in time with childcare in place?

There is a breakfast and after school club. So we would be covered. I guess I feel a bit guilty. DD cries even going to pre school now and she’s been in that room for 6 months!!!! I hear the transition to school is worse.

OP posts:
BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:03

Tbh DH dream is to take something more local and something that will fit around the kids. He just hasn’t found it yet. I’m also a little bit scared so maybe just looking for an excuse to say no to a new role. Loving this solidarity here!

OP posts:
shockeditellyou · 10/10/2024 21:58

Ask for more money, you’ll almost certainly get it. Cost out the extra commuting first before agreeing - if you’re looking at 3 days commute into London that can be the best part of £200/week.

But yes, DH can step up and go for it! IME primary was far easier to work FT than secondary.

FrothyCothy · 10/10/2024 21:57

What are the before and after school arrangements? Can you or DH make it back in time/make it to work in time with childcare in place?

RealHousewivesOfTaunton · 10/10/2024 21:57

Do it if the childcare stacks up. Flexibility is amazing but the new role also seems pretty good - 2 days WFH and the commute isn't too bad.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 10/10/2024 21:55

Bog standard commute in London suburbs. Mine is 1hr 20 and I've never questioned it.

Wholelotagrey · 10/10/2024 21:55

Stay put the work life balance you have is not to be unappreciated… and you may not be able to get it back..

Itsmahoneybaloney · 10/10/2024 21:54

SoDemure · 10/10/2024 21:53

Take it. 1 hour is nothing.

This

SoDemure · 10/10/2024 21:53

Take it. 1 hour is nothing.

Longhotsummers · 10/10/2024 21:53

It’s doable if your DH steps up. Why should you bear the burden solely and your progression suffer as a result?

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